Fair Play

September 5, 2011.

It's the last day of the Oregon State Fair, which is apparently also "Cow Judging Day."  We can hear mooing from all the way out in the parking lot.  I wonder what the judges look for in a cow.  Bone structure?  Smiling with their eyes?  Did I just invent America's Next Top Cow Model?  Once, when I was a kid, I went to the county fair and played that carnie horse racing game and I won a stuffed cow. He was wearing overalls. It's the only time I ever won anything at those games, not counting the numerous ashtrays I procured from my stellar dime-throwing skillz.

Llamas, I think?  I went to this spinning wheel show once (and yes, I'm ninety-four. What?) and out back they had a barn with alpacas and goats and things, and I was talking to my little cousin about them and I called them llamas and the farmer guy there was like THEY'RE ALPACAS. And quite frankly I didn't care.  Just like I don't care if Koalas are or are not bears or what camels are called when they have one hump, not two.  But whatever these things are, aren't they cute? They're like big ol' poodles. I want one.

Mmmm.  To quote one Mr. Garfield the Cat: "Candy candy candy candy candy!" I especially covet the giant gummy bears.  Every time I go into a candy store and see one of those, I think I would love that. I'm going to get me one of those one of these days.  And really, they're only about $5 so it's not like it'd be this crazy purchase.  But something always stops me.  Maybe because when they're that size, biting off their heads (the integral part of consuming gummy bears) seems like it would be difficult. And I abhor difficulty, especially with candy. Which is why I've stopped eating Fun Dips. I'm sorry, but they simply take more than they give.

"Crazy Animal Races."  I've seen Pig Racing before, but not this.  This has goats and sheep and all manner of fowl.  They're lined up at the starting gate and then sent forth around the track while the audience cheers.  At the end, they get food.  Meanwhile, four kids in the audience get to be cheerleaders.  Whichever animal wins, the kid from that cheering section wins a small checkered flag.  After the show (which is actually quite adorable and hilarious) the announcer tells us that anyone can get their own checkered flag at the nearby concession stand for two dollars.  Gosh!

Then again, $2 sounds like chump change when you consider the price of being flung in the air on this fun contraption.  $30 will get you up there for a minute.  It's $50 if a couple wants to go together.  $20 grants you video footage.  I get that this thing must have to have insurance up the wazoo, not to mention pay somebody to run it, but it all still seems a wee bit crazy.  Much like the people who choose to ride it. 

Now this is more like it.  For $8 you can get zipped inside a big plastic bubble (like a hamster!) and walk around on the water (like Jesus!)  This is what I love about the fair.  Stuff like this.  Crazy new things you can try.  It makes the discontinuation of World's Fairs in my country a little easier to bear.

Now here's a ride I can totally get behind.  Har har, literally, amirite?  But serious, the chair lift thing is great.  You get to ride over the entire fair, thirty feet up.  You get to see everything.  Like... the tops of tents.  And... the tops of people's heads.  Not to mention the stuff behind the tents.  And after seeing some of the goings-on behind the food vendors' tents, well... it really makes your appetite waver.

UNLESS...

 Yes, there's always an exception. I have some great, unbridled love for the giant baked potato.  Some fairgoers go for the corn dog, others the massive turkey leg, still others the old familiar sno-cone.  But I seek out the potato grande, and always will. I don't care if those potatoes are fed hormones to help give them their impressive girth.  I don't care that for the price of one potato I could go to the store and buy a whole sack of the things.  Nope.  I don't care.

Oh hey, yet another ride you won't get me on. I realize this is ten times tamer than the catapultchacallit, but still. No.

Well, it's about time to go. How about one last look at the animals? Here are some... uh...

 ... some goats? Mutant kangaroos?  Sigh.  Animal identification has never been my strong suit. 

That's better!  Those are goats.  Totally.  I mean... 

yeah, I don't even know anymore.  

I'm going home.

Until next year...

Ickiness Maximus

Those of you who've been reading this blog a while may remember my issues with one Mr. Russell Crowe.  First I was worried he'd ruin Robin Hood.  Then I saw Robin Hood, and was like, eh, he was okay, I guess.

Well, after that, I decided to grit my teeth and go watch Gladiator.   

Cuz, you know, I'd heard it was pretty good.  I can't remember where I heard that.  Maybe the Oscars.  I'd also heard it was violent.  But I figured, if I could make it through Beowulf, 300, and Tombstone, I could certainly handle 2 more hours of ye olde blood and gore.

So, to those of you who haven't seen it -- warning -- spoiler alerts, etc.

I counted eight beheadings.

Forty-three dismemberments.

Three hundred and thirty-eight stabbings.

And a pony fell down.

Also, two tigers died for the cause.

GROSS, Ridley Scott.  Just gross!

But there's something in the movie that's even scarier than all of that...

See, there's this guy named Commodus, and he's played by Joaquin Phoenix...

Yes, Joaquin Phoenix. AKA little "Leif" Phoenix from Parenthood, the punk kid who destroyed his father's dentist office in a fit of anger and had to be educated in manhood studies by Keanu Reeves, but turns out okay (and relatively unscathed) in the end.

Well, heh, Joaquin Phoenix's wrongdoings in Gladiator make "destroying daddy's dentist office" look as mundane as jaywalking on a deserted highway.

COMMODUS IS SO. FLIPPING. EVIL!!!!

How evil is he?  Let me put it this way.  He makes these guys...

 (The Joker - murderer, sociopath)

 (Hans Gruber - terrorist, murderer)

 (Lord Voldemort - dictator, murderer)

look like THESE guys...

Don't believe me?  Here's a short list of Commodus's crimes in the 2 hours we get to spend with him:

-He kills his own elderly father while HUGGING HIM

-He orders Russell Crowe killed (Russell escapes)

-He orders the gruesome deaths of Russell's family (that goes through)

-Later, he taunts Russell about how his family died

-He threatens to kill his own nephew

-He forces his sister to be his lover

-He tries to kill Russell Crowe in the coliseum with tigers

-He kills Russell's friend

-He kills Russell's mentor

-And, in the end, he stabs Russell and then sends him out to the arena to fight.

He's such a terrible, arrogant, punkass psycho, that when he faces in Russell in the end, and Russell kicks his ass (despite being wounded), it is nothing short of awesome.  GO, RUSSELL, GO!

And even though I know it's just a movie and Russell's just playing a character... well, darnit, I like that character.  I'm totally behind that character.  He kicks booty.  Specifically Joaquin Phoenix's evil booty.  And for that, he gets a Gold Star in my book.

So that's 2 for 2, Russell Crowe.  You're on my good side, now.  At least until you go on another phone-throwing spree.  Yeah, we all have our dark moments, but come on!

i can haz computers?

Running a school computer lab (my new job!) has made me think a lot about when I was in elementary school. (Oh, here it comes...) 

In the beginning of my educational career, there wasn't a single computer to be found in our school building. But around 1988 they got a dozen or more Commodore 64s. I loved those things! The teachers taught us how to program on them. Typing, typing, and more typing would produce... an octagon. Yay. Once or twice they let us run games. I was all over DD's Playground, of course.

I remember the day the librarian introduced us to a Mac. It had a mouse. (LOL, a thing that is a thing that is not a rodent!) There was this little tutorial on the computer where you could practice clicking and dragging, like, a piece of paper and put it in a trash can. BEST. THING. EVER. I would sit there and just throw the little piece of paper away, over and over.

In junior high, we had two roomfuls of Macs. Same with high school. They took floppy disks. You could save your work on one, and use it on another computer... until it got an error and died. Also, the computers now had the internet! It was so exciting. My friends and I would use it to chat with each other, while sitting right next to each other in the lab. Yep. We were oh so clever and awesome.

In the early 2000s, when I first began working in an elementary school, they had just acquired some brand shiny new blue iMacs. Remember how iMacs came in all those colors? So pretty. Ten years later, those same blue iMacs are basically just big blue paperweights.

These days in our computer lab, they have bright, shiny silver iMacs. Those have replaced the 50-pound eMacs we had from 2002-2008 or so. (Yes, fifty pounds. We still have a bunch of them in the lab, and I've been delivering them to different classrooms this week. When this job description mentioned "lifting up to 50 pounds," I always imagined that sentence pertaining to a fallen-and-can't-get-up child on the playground, not a computer with bricks sitting inside it. Seriously, bricks. Why would a computer contain bricks? I don't know! WHY ARE THOSE COMPUTERS SO HEAVY? On the bright side, I guess they're pretty robber-proof. You'd have to be crazy to try to steal one. Well, also because they're crappy.)

Nowadays, with just a few clicks, a kid can get online and chat in realtime with people from all over the world. They can blog about their field trips. They can watch how crayons are made. 

That totally beats making an octagon.

And throwing away a sheet of virtual paper.

Though I'm not sure that it beats DD's Playground... that game was the best!

Celebration!

Hallelujah! I got a job! And for the first time in eight years... something that doesn't have the word "temporary" attached to it!  Where's that dancing hamster gif to celebrate?  I need that.  Well, there's this, but that site just gave me a seizure, so nevermind.  Here are some balloons instead.

These Shoes Were Made For... Running, Apparently

A Walk In My Shoes, the TV-movie I worked on last year, is having its ultra-spiffy encore presentation this Saturday (August 27th) on NBC. 

Trailer on Youtube (beware cheesiness)
Busted Benson Bubblers (my account of my day on the set)
And a screen cap:

It's the running of the bulls pedestrians!  I'm the girl on the right, behind the guy with the orangish shirt.  I was going for "worried and scared"  in this scene, but I'm one of the only ones who doesn't have my mouth in an O shape for most of it, so I dunno.

I watched the movie's premiere on TV last December. I had a friend over, and we riffed our way through it. It was okay....  It's just that there was this one lady....

The brown-haired lady.  Yeah, her.  She was some kind of angel, I guess.  And she'd pop up wherever and whenever, accompanied by music.  It reminded me a little too much of Touched By An Angel.   Have I ever told you about my sinister dislike for TBAA?  Well, maybe another time.

If Only

Twitter wants to know what I Wish They Would Bring Back.

Oh, believe me, I've thought about this.

I've got a list.

And here goes.

I Wish They Would Bring Back...

1. Farrell's. The Portland Ice Creamery or whatever. The restaurant with the sundae that had like 13 scoops.  The restaurant with the freaking candy store in the middle.  The restaurant they sold and demolished in 2001 to make apartment buildings. JERKS!

2. All the dangerous, awesome playground equipment I enjoyed as a youth.  The big tires at Harold Oliver. The giant fireman pole at Lents Park.  The hamburger climbing thing at McDonalds...

Er, then again... I don't remember that looking quite so creepy...

3. Ball pits at Chuck E. Cheese.  Oh, I know they were infested with all manner of refuse.  But since when did kids care about that?  And I know I'm too old to go in them now.  But speaking of ball pits...

4. DISCOVERY ZONE!!!  That place was the best!

5. Saturday Morning Cartoons.  You knew this one HAD to be coming!  Yes, maybe I'm too old (lazy) to wake up early on Saturdays to watch TV anymore.  But I totally would if they would bring back all the radical shows from my childhood.  And speaking of THOSE...

6. The Disney Afternoon. With Ducktales, of course.

 

7. Mystery Science Theater 3000 -Yeah, I know, it's been ten years, everyone's moved on.  Mike, Kevin, and Bill are making us laugh with Rifftrax, and Joel and the other guys are doing their thing as well.  And I love Rifftrax, I really do.  But I also miss those adorable little robots.  I named one of my pets Servo, for heaven's sake!

8. Orbitz.

I don't know why. I never even really liked it.  It was just soda juice with little gummy balls floating around inside.  But hey, bring it back anyway, it was fun stuff, AND THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT.

9. The Old-School Disney Channel.  Yep, here I go again with the Disney woes.  But see, back in the 80's and early 90's, they used to air 50s & 60's Disney movies, documentaries, and awesome shows like The Torkelsons.  And now, it's a breeding ground for skanks, low-lifes, and zipheads.*  Mickey's somewhere rollin' in his grave right now, srsly.

10. Meals on airplanes.  WHAT I LIKED THEM.

11. Caramel / Strawberry Pepsi.  Actually, I just really hate it how Pepsi can't just pick a flavor and STICK WITH IT. Grrr making me get all excited about a flavor, then ripping it away, grrr.

And in conclusion:

12. My Childhood

That is all.


(*Slightly modified BTTF2 quote, there.)

Because Deciding Is Hard

Dear Kixia,

My hubby and I are having our 3rd baby in 4 monthss! We just found out we’re having another girl!!  Buuuut we can’t agree on a name!!! Our other childrens' names are: Braelynn Gabriella and Gracelynn Isabella.  LOL yeah we kind of have a pattern thing going on.  Should we stick with that, or go in a whole new direction?  What do YOU think???

Sincerely,
Lizzy & Darius Cole


Lizzy & Darius,

Congrats!  OMG I love it when parents give their kids names with patterns! It brings such order to this chaotic world!  I TOTALLY think you should stick with what you have going.  If one sister had a name that was totally different from her OTHERS sisters, she might feel inferior or different!  That could screw her up for LIFE.

With that in mind, here are a few suggestions for girlie #3!:

-Charlynn Arabella
-Kennalynn Jezabella
-Azlynn Lionella
-Brooklynn Fontanella
-Sophielynn Nutella

Hope this helps! Let me know what you decide!

-Kixia



* * * * *
Dear Kixia,

We’re having our first baby in two months, a boy.  My parents are very religious and really they want us to name our baby something from the Bible.  So... my husband and I were talking about Joshua, Micah, Noah, etc.  But my husband’s parents, they think the baby should have a unique, unusual name.  What should we do??

Sincerely,
Angela


Dear Angela,

One word: NEBUCHADNEZZAR!  King of the Bible!  And the name “Chad” is hidden in there, so you’ve got an insta-nickname!  Fabulous, right?  I wouldn’t stear you wrong.

-Kixia


* * * * * 
Dear Kixia,

My boyfriend and I have a three-year-old son, Jakobi Kai Isaiah… Jake for short.  Last week we found out that we’re going to be giving Jake a little brother in March!  We’re so excited!!  We want to name the baby something along the same lines, you know -- three names, with kind of the same sound going on… and we really like the letter “I”, so anything with that would be really awesome.  Thanks!

-Vanessa


Vanessa,

Oooh I love a good “must-have-this-letter” challenge! 

Let’s start with a short list of names with “I”…

-Ian (A little too popular, IMO, but an old classic nonetheless)
-Ike  (Can be short for Michael, but can stand alone as well)
-Isaac (“Zac” makes a nice nickname!)
-Ivan  (Love that “I-V” combo, don’t you?)
-Israel  (Does the child have Jewish roots? If so, pay homage.)
-Ishmael  (Literary references make your baby seem more intellectual. This can further him down the road.)
-Iverson  (The classic “Last name --> First Name” approach.)
-Iraq  (Topical & very modern!)
-Island (Names ending with -land are very IN right now.)

And then, of course, there are many names with the letter “I” positioned somewhere in the middle.  Some of my favorites include:

-Josiah (Biblical --> religious --> God will shine down on your baby!)
-Riley (Another popular one, but it would pair well with any of the above)
-Lionel (A strong name. Lions. RARRGHHH!)
-Giles (Unusual, but classy)
-Elijah (Elijah Wood --> Lord of the Rings --> Literary Reference --> Literature --> Smart Baby)

If you didn’t like the letter “I” so much, I would actually suggest replacing it with “Y”, as “Y” is just a touch better. Consider it!

Yvan Josyah Ryley
Lyonel Elyjah Yverson

See how nice that looks?

Good luck!
Kyxya


* * * * * 
Dear Kixia,

Help!!! The wife and I can’t agree on a name for our first child (a girl)!  Which name do you like better?  We’ll choose whichever you choose.

Option A: Alianna Ryleen Spencer
Option B: Blayke Jordana Spencer

Thanks,
Ken and Tiffany-Jo Spencer


Ken & Tiffany-Jo,

I say, when you can’t decide, JUST USE BOTH!  Lots of parents are going the “3-4 Names” route these days, there is nothing wrong with that!  If you are still unsure which order to put them in, I’d suggest using the first initial to try to spell out a word.  I was noticing that if you go like this:

Blayke
Alianna
Ryleen
Jordana

You get BARJ!  Barj --> Barge, and that’s a word!  See?  Kids LOVE it when their initials spell something.  Mine do!  Kixia Alice Foster --> KAF --> Calf!  I love it, and so will baby Blayke!  Trust me.

Best wishes!
Kixia


* * * * * 
Dear Kixia,

HELP!!! Three years ago, when I frist decided I wanted to have a baby, I told every1 that the baby’s name -- if it was a girl -- was going to be Savannah Grace.  I told EVERY1111!  Well, I shouldn't of, because GUESS WHUT -- my stupid cow of a cousin-in-law just had a baby girl and named her GRACE OLIVIA.  Now, I kno that’s not exactly the same, but the fact that she took MY name, Grace, really pisses me off!   Now I’m preggers, due in 8 months, and I have no idea what to do!!!  Pleeeease help me think of a better name then her so I can show her!!!

-Lacey


Lacey, 

Girlfriend, I have an even better idea.  Keep the baby you’re about to have, of course, but ALSO… ADOPT a baby who is sliiiiightly older and bigger than your cousin-in-laws’ name-stealing baby.  Name your adopted child Savannah Grace.  Remind everyone that your baby was born first (which it WAS) and tell them that your cousin-in-law copied you.  That will show everyone, and you will have the last laugh!!!  As for your second baby, Shenandoah Glee would be a nice companion name!

Be sure to send me pix when the baby(ies) arrive!

-Kixia

Step By Step, Ooh Baby!

STEP BY STEP
   Years It Aired: 1991-1998
    Years I Was Into It: 1992-1997

When I was a kid, there were three ways I might be introduced to a TV show:

1) Stumbling across it while channel-surfing (usually on a Saturday morning)

2) My parents watching it first; me watching it with them.

3) Friends telling me about the show's very existence in the first place.

Number three is what happened with Step By Step. I remember (and please don't ask how my brain can remember THIS, and not where I left my keys) that my friend was spending the night at my house one Friday, and she asked if I watched TGIF.  I, being a failure of an 80's baby oblivious, said no, I had no idea what that was.  And so she explained the acronym and introduced me to the world of Family Matters, Dinosaurs, whatever else used to air back in 1992 (Perfect Strangers?), and, what soon became my new favorite Friday-night show, Step By Step.

Already a fan of The Brady Bunch, I'm sure the shows' similarities is what initially drew me to SBS. There were lots of kids on SBS, and that made it fun.

For the uninitiated, here's how the plot went down: Widow(er)s Mike and Carol... wait, hold on, I'm mixing medias again... DIVORCEES FRANK AND CAROL... met up while on vacation and eloped.  When they returned home, they had to explain everything to their kids.  Frank Lambert had three: teenager J.T., pre-teen Alicia (Al), and tyke Brendan.  Carol Foster also had three of her own -- teenage braniac Dana, teenage ditz princess Karen, and little geeky Mark.  The kids did not get along at first; in fact, Dana and J.T. had a rivalry that lasted several years.

Various supporting characters came & went during the show's run.  In the beginning, Carol ran a beauty parlor in the garage, and her mother and sister were her partners in that venture, but that didn't last.  Frank's nephew Cody was added to the pack early on; he was a popular character who had a crush on Dana.  In the fourth season, Frank and Carol got pregnant, and Lily Foster-Lambert was born in 1995.

 That's about when things started to get crazy. Lily morphed into a kindergartener in 1997 (no doubt emulating the Keatons and Seavers of Television Past), and she was such an annoying brat, it made you wish Carol and Frank had never touched.  Cody disappeared, and in his stead, we got Rich, "Flash" Gordon, and Jean-Luc Rieupeyroux (played by Bronson Pinchot, of all people).  They also lost Brendan to the Judy Winslow curse (aka Gone But Never Explained Away, Hoping You Won't Notice Since There's So Many People On The Show As It Is.)  And sometime post-Cody, but pre-BigLily, they all went to Disney World! Because WHY NOT??

My favorite season was the 1994-95 one, where Carol was pregnant.  As someone who wanted a baby sister myself, I found myself living vicariously through the Fosters and Lamberts that year.  My least favorite season was the second-to-last one, when Child Lily showed up.  I can't judge the final season because I didn't watch it... that's when the poor show was transferred to CBS (along with Family Matters) in order to (I kid you not) liven up the so-called Old-Folks network that was CBS. (In case you're wondering what happened to TGIF, don't worry.  It still had Boy Meets World and Sabrina The Teenage Witch.  Only now it also had Teen Angel.  And it wasn't about a young David Boreanaz, I am so, SO sorry to say.)

And so, my friends, ends this sad tale.  A tale of broken dreams and... oh, what am I saying?  Who cares?  It was good while it lasted.  Nuff said.

(This article was part of a series called My TV Top 40, Ages 2-12, originally published on alligatorjuice.com. I never made it to 40, but #1-4 can be found here, and #5-8 are here.)

Wait, so borrowing isn't forever?

Did you know that the Multnomah County Library system has a limit to how many times you can renew a book before they cut you off and say "no more"?

Yeah. Surprise.

I mean, it's only been 2 years and 3 months since I first checked the book out.  What gives, guys?  I'm not done with it yet!  I started it and... well, you know, I just haven't gone back to it.  And... well, I sort of can't find it. I mean, it's somewhere around here. I think I saw it last month.

Oh, bother. :/

Palofrenozynx

There was once a time when I loved to do the things I loved to do.  Then, without warning, depression hit.  It was hard to get out of bed.  I missed important occasions, like birthday parties and parades.  I even began to retreat from the ones I love.

But no more.

I called my doctor, and he told me about Palofrenozynx.  Thanks to Palofrenozynx, I’ve found a new lease on life!  Look at me in this happy montage, spending happy hour at the local Chili's with my friends Stacy and Heather!  Watch enraptured as I take ballroom dancing lessons and hug a pony!

If you're suffering from depression, Palofrenozynx may be able to help. Talk to your doctor about Palofrenozynx today.  Tell him you want some; demand it, even! 

Palofrenozynx is not for everyone.  Side effects may include burning of the larynx, enlargement of the heart, implosion of the gallbladder, and hardening of the musculoskeletal system.

Palofrenozynx should not be taken with food, water, or oxygen.  Doing so may increase the risk of side effects, including: death, painful death, excruciating death, and even more death.  Tell your doctor if you experience any of these symptoms, as they may be a sign of a more serious condition.  Be sure to tell your doctor about any medications you are currently taking, whether or not you eat olives, and approximately how much wood a woodchuck would chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood. 

Remember, life IS worth living -- make the most out of YOUR life with Palofrenozynx!

fanfictional

I'm one of those people who can read several books at once. In fact, I like to.  Unless it's that rare book that gives me everything I need (which would be nigh impossible, since "everything" includes both fiction and non-fiction and how do you do both? Unless you're James Frey. But can he also write something with historical juiciness? And angsty romance? And humor? I think not), I've gotta have several going on at once.  Well, not at once.  I'm not an octopus, with one book on each of my eight arms.  No, I'll read a chapter or two of one, two chapters of another, maybe dip into a third, go back to the first, and so on.

It seems I'm the same way when it comes to writing.  While there will be times when my focus and attention is on just one project, other times, I get my happiness from three or four projects.  A novel, a short story, a web series, and -- when the mood is right -- fanfic.

Yes, I am a fanfic writer.  And I'm afraid there's a bit of a stigma that goes with that.  Blame it on the nerdy thirteen-year-olds who blast the internet with tales like Harriette Potter -- Long-Lost Twin Sister of Harry -- And The Pealing Bells of Harmony, in which Harriette not only is smarter, braver, and more clever than her born-four-minutes-later brother Harry, but she's scarless, has perfect eyesight, and is the object of lust of Draco Malfoy, Oliver Wood, and Cedric Diggory.  Yes, some fanfic is really cheesy.  A lot is poorly written.  And anyone can publish it for the masses on places like fanfiction.net, then receive oodles of comments from younger readers along the lines of "UR SO AWESUM!"

But despite this, fanfic is not a bad thing.

I actually developed my love for writing as a teenager while penning crappy Friends/Lois & Clark crossovers. Don't ask. They were really dumb and I never shared them. But writing is like anything else -- the more you do it, the better you get at it (well, we hope.)  Later, once I'd written something I deemed worthy of sharing, I did so -- and received comments from older, wiser writers that made my heart swell.  They said I had potential!  I started dabbling in different genres.  I especially enjoyed doing tag-team, or round-robin fics with my friends.  They often turned out very silly (usually, toward the end, because we didn't have the skills to come up with a coherent ending, we'd just casually kill everybody off), but we had a blast doing the actually writing.

Over time, I began to write less fanfic and swing toward more original stuff.  Fanfic kind of has its limitations.  You have set characters and a set canon.  Sure, you can play around with that to some extent -- alternate universes, alternate beginnings, etc. -- but whether or not they're accepted depends on the mercy of your intended audience.  Some fandoms will let you get away with more than others, I suppose.  But really, you do have these already-established characters, and unless you go crazy and throw canon out the window, you have to stick to certain guidelines. Not so with original fiction.  That's yours to do whatever you like with. Go nuts.

So even though original writing has its pros, every once in a while I'll start to think about my favorite TV show and my brain will start going, "Hey... what if...?"  As I lay in bed at night, my mind will churn with possibilities.  And before long, I have to start writing my thoughts down.

Which is why I've written two fanfics in the last six months, and have another one stirring.

No, I can never publish my fanfics for real or make so much as a dime off them.  But they make me happy.  They satisfy my creative urges, at least for a time.

And, in fifteen years, I'm sure they'll give me something to laugh at.

Like those Friends fanfics.

Did I say laugh?  I meant cringe. ;)