Saturday, March 28, 2020

Glossy Time Capsules #21: Liberty - March 2, 1940

Glossy Time Capsules #21

March 2, 1940
Price: 5 cents

About Liberty magazine, from Wikipedia:

Liberty was a weekly, general-interest magazine, originally priced at five cents and subtitled, "A Weekly for Everybody." It was launched in 1924 by McCormick-Patterson, the publisher until 1931, when it was taken over by Bernarr Macfadden until 1941. At one time it was said to be "the second greatest magazine in America," ranking behind The Saturday Evening Post in circulation. It featured contributions from some of the biggest politicians, celebrities, authors, and artists of the 20th-century. The contents of the magazine provide a unique look into popular culture, politics, and world events through the Roaring 20s, Great Depression, World War II, and Post-War America. It ceased publication in 1950 and was revived briefly in 1971.

My issue is missing its cover, but I found a picture of it on the internet...

Even though my issue is missing a few pages, there is no evidence to suggest there was any Pinocchio-related content within this issue at all. Hmmm.

Fun fact: Pinocchio first played in U.S. theaters on February 7, 1940!

One of the first articles to be presented in this issue was one about how America's leaders have an obligation to uphold the constitution. 

80 years ago. Still relevant.

Then there was this one, written by the Duchess Of Westminster, who apparently had so much clout and fame at the time, no one thought we needed to be told her actual name...

 I tried Googling "Duchess Of Westminster," but the main results were for the Duke Of Westminster. Even after I figured out who that would've been in 1940 (Hugh Grosvenor, in case you were wondering), I still had to figure out which of his four wives would've been THE Duchess in 1940. 

It appears as though it was this one: Loelia Lindsay. Wife #3. She later became a magazine editor.

He lasted until 1949. I know because I can see the future.

There were three of them?!?

On a related note, Candice Bergen's first memoir, Knock Wood, is a pretty good read.

Meanwhile, in the Letters To The Editor...

Millard Fillmore, rrawwwrr.

So this is a weird one. Apparently, in a previous issue of this magazine, H.G. Wells (!) published an article (?) called Berlin Should Be Bombed. And according to the above, this action caused a global uproar.

Yet a Google search yields almost nothing about this article, and nothing about the alleged uproar. There are a few newspaper articles hidden behind paywalls that presumably mention it, but there aren't enough of them to suggest this incident was anything noteworthy. As if it didn't even happen. Weird. 

Besides articles, Liberty featured several ridiculous, dramatic "love" stories...

I always try to read them, but I never get past the first few paragraphs.

Oh no, not wayward beauties!

The writing is SO BAD.

Elsa, hands on hips which proper care and feeding had kept slim for thirty-five years, sniffed. She hooked her thumbs in the belt of her chartreuse shorts and turned thumbs down on his protest at one and the same time.

"You've been sorting!"

Okay, that last one was actually kinda funny.

This issue had quite a few ads...

I love the 40s. Seatbelts nonexistent, Dad with his fedora, and Grandma and The Kid relegated to the back seat. Where's Mom? Who knows?! WAIT. Maybe that lady IS the mom???

This next ad may be one of the most mind-spinning ones I've seen yet.

First it announces: "Pepsodent wins seal of acceptance". Seal of ACCEPTANCE? That's like when you go to give blood, but you pass out, so instead of getting the "I Gave Blood Today!" sticker you get one that says "I Tried."

Next we learn that Pepsodent earned this (alleged) honor partly for "Truthful advertising."

THEN the ad claims that all three of its featured products are "Safe... all 3 contain IRIUM!"

What's IRIUM? You ask. Good question. It's a word Pepsodent made up to make their product seem cool. The mysterious ingredient was actually Sodium Dodecyl Sulfate.

*snatches away Pepsodent's Seal Of Acceptance and stomps on it.*

If we're giving out awards, this next ad should get an Offical Seal Of WTFery...

WHAT IS HAPPENING? Why does that child have no pants? And don't tell me those are leggings. Those are not leggings. WTF, Kleenex?

No, seriously, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

I mean, I don't hate it, but...

I think this calls for a drink...

Or maybe... razor blades?

How about nightmare shirts?

Ugh, here we go again with the "soap usage will endear you to the MEN" sales strategy. 

I mean, they're probably not wrong, but they're also really annoying.

"When you go fishing for a man, don't let anything stop you from landing him."


Not that men were completely off the hook when it came to having good looks...

Because baldness!

Meanwhile, at The Pictures...

This rating system seems awfully generous...

No mediocrity allowed here.

A lot of movies earned 4 stars...

Some of these titles would probably still draw audiences today: Honeymoon in Bali, The Star Maker, When Tomorrow Comes. I have my doubts about The Old Maid, Nurse Edith Cavell, and Slightly Honorable. Though maybe as satirical comedies....

I've seen many Shirley Temple movies, but I haven't seen The Blue Bird.

That swan ship was sixty feet long. The Blue Bird sets... occupied fifteen full sound stages. 

Y'all, this movie's on YouTube. Gotta go watch it. Bye.

1.5 hours later...

That wasn't too bad. I think I would have enjoyed it as a kid.

Here's the boat...


Oh hey, another movie...

And here's a contest!

I guess that's one clever way to get "free" reader feedback.


It's time for...


NEAT STUFF YOU SHOULD BUY! (Very Special "For What Ails You" Edition)

Ew. Well, if you think I'm going to leave you with a picture of a skinless leg, FEAR NOT. I have something much more pleasant to offer you...


For more Glossy Time Capsules, click here!