Saturday, April 20, 2019

Glossy Time Capsules #10: The Family Circle - November, 1942

Glossy Time Capsules #10

The Family Circle
November, 1942
Price: ?

Today we're perusing an issue of The Family Circle from 1942. It's a short magazine -- paper rationing really was a thing -- but despite its small stature, it's packed full of ads and articles that make me largely uncomfortable.

Come... journey down Awkward Lane with me, won't you?

Mrs. Jones' 2-year-old daughter constantly gets dirty. Thank goodness for the "grocery man" who recommends Su-Purb soap, which Mrs. Jones takes home and hands over to her incredibly happy Black housekeeper/maid. Mrs. Jones may not do her own laundry, but she does wash her own cabinets with the wool of a recently shorn sheep, and is so impressed by Su-Purb's efficiency that she merely laughs when her daughter kicks her in the shin.

I wonder if White King ever hung around with Burger King? I think they would have been friends.

Before you begin thinking that women of 1942 were doing nothing but laundry and raising brats, you should know that no, they were also cooking for their men!

Yes, nothing would aid the war effort more than providing shipyard-bound husbands with copious amounts of white bread.

Because, after all...

Haha, just kidding. That label didn't get put on bread, it got put on MEAT!

And also tomato juice...

But, sadly, not coffee?

At least Edwards Coffee did come in a Victory Bag, which is maybe (?) akin to a Victory Garden, because the ad tells us that the money you saved buying this coffee could be used to buy extra WAR SAVINGS STAMPS, which, as we all know, were key in defeating the nazis.

Also, the bag literally has the words EMERGENCY PACKAGE on it, which I think is appropriate. I have a jar of instant coffee at work which I keep for emergencies, too!

"It's welcome help for your wartime budget." Man, everyone was about the budgets in 1942.

Ritz crackers -- the perfect add-ons to the gigantic lunch that your man needs in order to serve and protect... and for the rest of you, something to dip in your dainty lil glasses of milk. Enjoy.

Finally, an ad featuring a woman with a job outside the home! 

2 cups of tea for a penny? I'm there.

Buuut then we have this...

So they both agree on this yummy gum, but skinnyass Jack just has to shame his wife over her love of desserts. You're not exactly the picture of health yourself, Jack.

"And if this dish is unsightly for table use, a napkin folded to fit the container and pinned on it makes a neat camouflage." You know... casseroles are great, but just in case they are also ugly? NAPKINS TO THE RESCUE!

That dog looks like he's been to college, so of course I trust his opinion.

Meanwhile, in "humor"...

Okay, so let me get this straight. Hubby is annoyed because he has to go shopping with his wife every Saturday, and they have to go on Saturday because that's when stores have their sales. But now Safeway has switched things up so that sales are on, like, Mondays and Tuesdays, now, too, which means... Wife can order her groceries and get them delivered?

But... she couldn't do that on Saturdays? Because maybe they wouldn't get there in time for her to make the big Sunday meal, or...?

And WHY did her husband have to go shopping with her on Saturdays in the first place? Was it because it was a weekend and he presumably wasn't working, but he couldn't bear to be alone in the house? Was it because he had a tight grip on the family budget, and wouldn't allow Wife to venture to stores without him?

But times have changed, and now they can order their food early in the week, and not have to venture out on weekends, and instead... spend the weekend cuddling?


Oh heck yeah, Wartime drama!


Really depressing Wartime drama.

Essentially, young Cecil has been sent away to America while his parents remained behind in Europe. He has spent many a night worrying about their inevitable doom. His fear of their deaths makes him think he is a coward. 

But now, learning that his parents HAVE died, Cecil's like, "Welp, now that I don't have to worry about my greatest fear anymore, that's a load off my mind!" *deep breath* "Me brave."

Damn this war.

Not everything about the 40s was doom & gloom, though! There were still celebrities to admire...

And movies to see....

George Washington Slept Here -- Opinion: "A good, workmanlike comedy that everybody, with the possible exception of those who own houses in which Washington slept, should enjoy."

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score: 71%

Springtime In The Rockies - Opinion: "Pleasant."

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score: 61%

And finally...

Mrs. J.N. Johnson earned a $5 prize for reporting that women of Somaliland used coffee beans as hair curlers, which I guess could have been a thing, but it also could be that she made it entirely up.

Also, smells -- coffee is great, but what's wrong with garlic? And does lard really have a strong smell? 

You know what? Don't answer that.

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Glossy Time Capsules #9: The American Magazine - 1931

Glossy Time Capsules #9

The American Magazine
May, 1931
Price: 25 cents

Once again, the particular magazine in my possession lacks a cover, but I pulled this picture from Google....

"All the tennis racquets and balls are MINE and I'm not sharing!" declares a pouty Hans L'Orange.

So, okay. It's 1931. The Depression's been in full swing for nearly two years, and money is tight... but what is REALLY important to Americans in these troubled times? 

Why, CLEANLINESS, of course!

Clean Faces...

Clean Bodies...

Clean Teeth...

Clean Innards...

But, let's face it, it's difficult to buy any of these products if you're poor, so before you do anything else, make sure you gain some employment!

You might want to look into mining....

And there's always military school to consider, first... so many choices....

But before you decide on a career, why not settle down and read some of the scintillating stories in this issue of The American Magazine?

Like this one, about feuding females....


YES! Another "future predictions" article!


*covers ears and hums loudly*

Seriously, though, who were these Nostradamuses? The only thing they kind of got wrong about "the future" was this....

"Breakfast No. 6" sounds like something Jane Jetson might order.





Transatlantic sailing in the 30s, according to this piece, wasn't all that different from cruising today. With one notable exception... it used to be that your friends & family could come aboard to see you off. Hellooo, stowaways!

Alas, as my mom pointed out, this golden age of cruising would've been cut short less than a decade later. 


They both married each other, LOL.

There's a particularly unsettling picture of Fred Stone as the Scarecrow from The Wizard Of Oz on his Wikipedia page. I bid you leave to go look at it.

* * *

What fabulous foods did people enjoy (or enjoy looking at) in 1931?



Root Beer!


So much for the notion that Depression-era folks subsisted on oats and dandelions. They were eatin' pretty good, if they could afford it.

They could also potentially buy a lot of other neat things...

Portable typewriters!


Milk boxes!

Trips on quaint little buses!



Dog biscuits!


Lawn sprinklers!

& Pens!

Ah, such wonders.

Okay, so those ads above? Normal ads. Sensible ads. Nice ads.

Below, you will find... um....

Well, the only thing to really call them is.... insane ads. 

Creepy eyeballs FTW.

At least he's still got his bow tie, I mean... bright side, here.

I keep reading this at Humpmobile. I apologize to no one.

Skeletons drawing blood on your finger? Prevent this with Lysol...


Like a warm, gooey marshmallow... of death!

With a name like Kaffee Hag, it has to be terrible.

Gum helps you build muscles. I MEAN YES YOU SHOULD ALSO EXERCISE DAILY... but, really, GUM is the key ingredient to health, here.

Kids need fattening up? Cocomalt will do the trick!

Can't sleep? Ovaltine can help!

In fact, just throw out your doctor's phone number and DRINK CHOCOLATE BEVERAGES CONSTANTLY.

Even back then, our wise elders knew what really caused baldness....


You depended on metal to keep your ship afloat....

Now depend on it to keep moisture out of your grave.


Sweet dreams, y'all.