Goin' To Disney World: A look back at five 90's TV shows that went there

 

Imagine, for a moment, that you are the head writer of a situational comedy circa the 1990's. Your show's been on the air for five seasons and you're starting to run out of ideas. You need an exciting new development -- a plotline that will get those viewers excited.

Here are your choices:

A MARRIAGE

Marriages are good for ratings, but you have to work up to them. Characters meeting, dating, first kiss, sleeping together, commitment issues, meeting the in-laws, all that stuff.

Want something quicker? How about...

A BABY!

This is the perfect plot device if you already have to characters who are married or together. Babies have been known to breathe life into dying sitcoms. They're especially nifty if your lead actress is pregnant or if she's old but wants to feel young. Don't believe me when I say a baby is quicker than a marriage? Look, if you announce the pregnancy in May, you can pop the kid out during November Sweeps. What's going on in those in-between months? Summer hiatus! You'll only have to slap together one episode about mood swings and maybe one about Lamaze. Then you deliver the kid amidst chaos and hilarity (someone passes out, someone gives birth in a hot air balloon) and you're done. Insta-baby! Be sure to hire some twins.

The downside? Well, now you actually have to write the new kid into the show, and since babies are pretty boring from ages 0-3, at least in sitcom land, you'll have to either stick them in a closet or Chrissy Seaverize them, and that can be more trouble than it's worth. You'll have viewers asking those dreaded questions, you know.

So maybe you don't want to give your characters a baby. Or maybe you gave them a baby last year and you're REALLY desperate for new ideas. There's only one thing left to do:

Send your sitcom family to...

Hey, all the other sitcoms are doing it. Go ahead, pen a Disney-centric plotline. Be sure to include every member of the freaking cast, be they a neighbor or a co-worker or a cousin. No castmember left behind!

Now you've got, what -- twelve, thirteen characters to work with? Great! Give each of them their own unique, wacky Disney World adventure. Make sure someone goes to EPCOT, because those Disney folks might get upset if you don't represent the entire park complex. Bonus points if the characters look like they're having the time of their lives in EPCOT.

Logistics? Who needs 'em! So your sitcom characters are poor as dirt -- you can still stick them in the fanciest hotel and have them order room service. Do not show your characters waiting in line for rides. Everyone knows there are no lines at Disney World. And be sure to have your characters meet and interact with as many Disney pals as possible. Because at Disney World, Cinderella, Prince Charming, Pluto, Goofy, Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Aladdin, and Winnie The Pooh just wander around the park, doing favors for the guests. Want to hug one? Don't be silly, you won't have to compete with a swarm of snot-nosed kindergartners. The Disney characters are there for YOU.

Very important: End the episode at night, with a backdrop of fireworks. Make sure your characters have a front-row seat at the fireworks show, even if they arrive there five minutes before it starts. Select two compatible characters. Have them kiss. The end.

Go on now, pen that script. So it's been done before. Who cares? Your network is owned by the Disney corporation, you can do whatever you want! GO, I say!

A BRIEF HISTORY OF SHOWS THAT HAVE GONE TO DISNEY WORLD

Full House went to Disney World in 1993. Family Matters took a trip in 1995, and within the next two years, four others -- Step By Step, Boy Meets World, Second Noah, and Roseanne, followed suit. Sabrina The Teenage Witch was one of the last to jump on the Disney bandwagon, traveling to the Magic Kingdom in 1998.

I have not seen the Family Matters or Sabrina Disney World episodes, but I have seen -- and have access to -- the other five. Those five are what I will be discussing. I'll start with Boy Meets World and Second Noah, because their Disney World episodes were pretty low-key and they did not send the entire family.

Boy Meets World (1996)

Topanga, Cory's ex (who he still loves) wins a trip to Disney World, along with two other classmates. One of those is a boy who would like nothing more than to woo Topanga. Cory, intent upon getting Topanga back, makes a spontaneous trip to Florida -- bringing Shawn along with him -- and then begins to stalk Topanga, sending her gifts and messages.

Cory's doing it out of love, but Topanga finds it incredibly obnoxious. She thinks Cory is trying to show off; she doesn't believe he's really sincere.

What is Cory to do?

After a random encounter and conversation with Dana from Step By Step, Cory pours out his heart to an aquatic animal and is overheard by Topanga, who realizes Cory sincerely loves her.

After months of being apart, Cory and Topanga get back together. And they kiss.

Second Noah (1997)

This short-lived family drama featured Disney World in a two-episode storyline, mostly just using DW as a backdrop for the plot and not really going crazy with the rides and the Disney characters like others shows were wont to do. Second Noah was set in, and filmed in Florida, so it didn't seem unnatural for them to be going there, and only a few members of the family went.

Much of the Disney story revolves around Ben (above) who is obsessed with Mickey Mouse and manages to run away from his parents at Disney World, hoping to find the elusive mouse.

Later, his parents make out. With fireworks.

Now that I've glossed over the two shows whose characters made a brief stop at Disney World, it's time to talk about three sitcoms that took an all-out family vacation to the land of the Mouse: Full House, Step By Step, and Roseanne.

Full House (1993)

Who Went Along:

Danny Tanner -- the dad

DJ -- Danny's daughter, age 15

Stephanie - Danny's daughter, age 10

Michelle - Danny's daughter, age 6

Joey -- Danny's friend

Uncle Jesse

Aunt Becky

Nicky - Jesse & Becky's son, age 2

Alex - Jesse & Becky's other son, age 2

Kimmy Gibbler -- the Tanners' neighbor and DJ's best friend

Steve -- DJ's boyfriend

Vicky -- Danny's girlfriend

Total: 12

Why they go to Disney World: It starts with Jesse's band being scheduled to perform there. Jesse invites Becky, Nicky and Alex. Then Joey thinks it would be great if he and Jesse could do their radio show from there. Danny hears about this and decides to take his daughters along as well. Kimmy's parents, who shockingly don't want her around, agree to pay for Kimmy's ticket. Vicky joins the family later. Steve, who misses DJ incredibly, finds a way to get to Florida too.

How they own Disney World: Michelle wins a contest and gets to be Princess For The Day. She is granted three wishes. The Tanners get to go to the front of every line. They have tea party with the Disney characters. They all ride in the parade.

Conflicts:

*Michelle acts like a spoiled brat. Not that this is anything new.

*Stephanie is bitter and jealous over Michelle's princess status.

*Michelle runs away. (Again, nothing new.)

*Danny keeps trying to ask Vicky to marry him, but is constantly interrupted.

*Jesse is so busy with rehearsals and his radio show that he isn't spending enough quality time with Becky. Becky becomes angry. Jesse sings a song for her and everything is all right.

*DJ misses Steve like crazy, and begins to hallucinate him in random Disney characters.

Major Developments: Vicky accepts Danny's marriage proposal; however, their relationship only lasted another seven months. DJ's and Steve's would end within the next year, too. Is there something to this?

Who makes out amidst fireworks: Danny & Vicky, Steve & DJ

Roseanne (1996)

Who Went Along:

Dan Conner -- the dad

Roseanne Conner -- the mom

Becky -- Roseanne & Dan's daughter

Mark -- Becky's husband

Darlene -- Roseanne & Dan's daughter

David -- Darlene's boyfriend

D.J. -- Roseanne & Dan's son

Jerry -- Roseanne & Dan's baby son

Jackie -- Roseanne's sister

Andy -- Jackie's toddler son

Bev -- Roseanne & Jackie's mother

Total: 11

Why they go to Disney World: Dan retires or quits his job or something and winds up with a lump of money. He thinks they need to invest it wisely, but Roseanne has other ideas....

How they own Disney World: Despite the fact that they leave their hotel a mere 15 minutes before the park opens, they are at the front of the crowd waiting to enter the park. Roseanne and Jackie get amusement from messing with the perky park employees. Darlene makes friends with Winnie The Pooh.

Conflicts: At first, Darlene wants nothing to with the park, acting sullen and bored. Eventually she has a change of heart.

Major Developments: Darlene and David conceive their child on this trip, though we won't learn of this for a few more episodes.

Who makes out amidst fireworks: Dan & Roseanne

Step By Step (1996)

Who Went Along:

Frank Lambert -- the dad

Carol Lambert -- the mom

Dana Foster -- daughter

Karen Foster -- daughter

Mark Foster -- son

J.T. Lambert -- son

Al Lambert -- daughter

Brendan Lambert -- son

Lily Foster-Lambert -- daughter

Helen Lambert -- Frank's mother

Rich -- J.T.'s best friend

Flash -- a guy who works for Frank

Total: 12

Why they go to Disney World: Frank's mother randomly decides to be generous and takes the entire family on a trip to Disney World. Rich takes a bus to Florida to stay with the family, and Flash stops by to return a hammer to Frank and ends up staying.

How they own Disney World: Flash decides to try to set a new world record for visiting all the attractions in all the Disney parks, eating at all the food stands, and buying a souvenir at every kiosk. He is aided by Mark, who is allowed to spend his vacation inside the Disney World control center, keeping an eye on Flash via video cameras and communicating with him via walkie-talkie. Flash is even permitted to substitute for Indiana Jones at the stunt show when the regular actor can't make it.

Conflicts:

*Karen decides to enter a singing contest, and wants Al and Dana to be her backup singers... but they don't want to rehearse as much as she does, and they all fight.

*The sleeping arrangements leave much to be desired.

*Frank and Carol are hard pressed to get any time alone (this trip coincides with their anniversary).

*J.T. and Rich spend all but $11 of their hard-earned money trying to impress a couple of girls.

Major Developments: None

Who makes out amidst fireworks: Frank & Carol

So there you have it... everything you need to write an episode about TV characters going to Disney World. You have the rules, the history, and you even have photos for reference. Now all you need is a time machine to take you back to when these crazy episodes were actually the norm.

Start building.

* * * * *

Adapted from an article posted on my old website, AlligatorJuice.com, on December 30, 2006.

Sometimes They Come Back

A few years ago, if you had asked me if I'd like to have one of my favorite fandoms/franchises come back into the light, I'd have given you a resounding "yes!" Remakes, reboots, sequels, updates (for brevity: "revivals")... any of these would certainly make me happy, for one or more of the following reasons:

*A revival would signify that my fandom still had value & importance.

*A revival would potentially bring new people to the fandom, increasing its overall "value."

*Merchandise!

*Something new to watch and enjoy.

For years, it seemed like everybody else's fandoms got shiny new shows, remakes, and sequels, while my fandoms sat idly back in history, remembered by few and forgotten by most. My brother's favorite franchises, in particular, always seemed to be thriving. He liked James Bond (currently at 26 films), Star Wars (8-odd films, with more to come), and Star Trek (currently clocking in at 12 movies and 6 shows).



My fandoms didn't produce as much material, and certainly not as often as my brother's did. Mine also went through some serious dry spells. My fandoms have included Lois & Clark (canceled in 1997), Mystery Science Theater 3000 (canceled in 1999), The Pretender (2001), Harry Potter (last book in 2007; last movie in 2011), DuckTales (canceled in 1990), Indiana Jones (a 19-year film gap between films III and IV), Nancy Drew (mediocre TV movie in 2002, rotten film in 2007), Beauty and the Beast, Back To The Future, Anne Of Green Gables, Full House, and Pride & Prejudice.

Back To The Future, one my favorites (both as a kid and a young adult), had two sequels (1989 & 1990) as well as an animated TV series, so that was fortunate for us fans. I also loved Beauty and the Beast (1991), which... um, well, also had 2 sequels (horrific abominations that they are.) Another fave of mine, My Girl (1991) got a sequel in 1994, which I really liked. On the other hand, Father Of The Bride, a favorite go-to film of my preteen years, had a less-desirable sequel of its own in 1995. Father Of The Bride Part 2 may have been my first indication, at the tender age of 15, that revivals aren't always great.

Eeeek!

Then there are remakes & updates. The two that stand out for me are The Parent Trap (original: 1961/remake: 1998) and Freaky Friday (original: 1976, remakes: 1995 and 2003). Both of the original films had a fun premise, but by the 90's, it was clear the earlier versions needed updating. The original Parent Trap has a weird, sort of flippant encounter with domestic violence, and the girls dancing to Annette Funicello records is just a bit too old-fashioned to even be quaint. The original Freaky Friday mom is stuck in an antiquated female role (Dishwashing! Cleaning! Mending! Baking!) and seems to like it, while the dad is a sexist douche. Annabel's friends say things like "far out" and one is literally named Bambi. FF's two updates both did a fair job, though I won't be surprised if another Freaky Friday comes along in the 2020s.

This is how it tended to go for most of my life. Every few years, there'd be some kind of fandom-related revival to look forward to. Even if the final product itself wasn't great, the revival could pave the way for something better. Like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull. The movie may have been a bummer, but its release prompted a lot of cool merchandise, including multiple LEGO sets and video games.

But within the past couple of years, something strange has been happening with my fandoms. In a short time period -- the last two years, in fact -- a bunch of my fandoms have come swarming back from the land of relative obscurity and into the limelight. Crashing, more like. All at once. So much for that "every few years" thing....


2016 & 2017

• DuckTales: After Treasure Of The Lost Lamp in 1990, DT had a 23-year dry spell. In 2013, they remade the video game (DuckTales Remastered). Now -- oh what the heck -- they're rebooting the freaking show!!

• Anne Of Green Gables revivals are rampant these days. Admittedly, it seems like Kevin Sullivan releases some new Anne-related product every time there's a new moon, but not counting him, just in the last decade we've had books (Before Green Gables and Looking For Anne Of Green Gables), a movie (PBS's Anne Of Green Gables, with 2 sequels planned), and a Netflix series (Anne With An 'E'). Those last two came out within the last eight months. Two entirely independent productions about the same fiery Canadian redhead in less than a year!

I'm thinking of climbing a wild cherry tree to get away from it all...

• Full House: Only in my wildest teenage dreams could that show have come back, but it has -- as Fuller House for Netflix. It premiered in February, 2016. With 90% of the original cast on board, it is already filming season 3. I don't like it, but... it's there.

• Mystery Science Theater 3000: I could have never imagined it would be back. I resigned myself to enjoying Rifftrax in all its humorous glory. But... they brought it back. The actual show. I mean, there's a new Joel/Mike character, and the bots sound different, and Tom Servo can, um, fly now? But it's still shadows in a theater making fun of cheesy movies, as if they've been carrying on that way for 18 years, no big deal.

Finally, there's...

• Beauty and the Beast. I loved the original. Top 3 films of all time. For years I had wanted, and thought about, a live-action version. Probably ever since they did those live-action 101 Dalmatian movies with Glenn Close in the 90s. I imagined this new BATB being darker than the original, more adult. Angsty. Romantic. Heart-wrenching. Beautiful.

Y u no luv me?

Well, I do know some people who loved it!

Just the other day, it was announced that the 90's cartoon series Animaniacs may be coming back. While that show wasn't one of my personal favorites, it was important to people I know. Maybe those people are currently feeling excited. Or maybe they're feeling the way I am. Which is...

NO. STOP. LEAVE IT ALONE. BACK AWAY, HOLLYWOOD. PUT DOWN THE CAMERA. BACK, I SAY!

*Backs away slowly*

*Hides under a pop culture-less rock*

Favorite Childhood TV Shows: #1-4 (Brady Bunch, Full House, Mr. Rogers, Fun House)

THE BRADY BUNCH Years It Aired: 1969-1974 Years I Was Into It: Mid-to-late 80's

 
There's a perfectly good reason why I subjected myself to the TV-movie The Brady Bunch In The White House last year: I used to like The Brady Bunch... a lot. Sure, it's as corny as hell, the morality lessons are as subtle as an elephant in a train station, and the fashions will make you go blind. But I didn't care back then. As a kid, I spent many afternoons watching Brady reruns, enjoying the adventures of Cindy, Bobby, and the rest of the family.

I'm not sure I ever figured out (on my own, at least) that this was a show that had been canceled long before I was even born... that I was watching a show my parents could've been into as teenagers. (Actually, I think they both hated the show, but whatever.) The fashions? I wore them in the early 80's. The shag carpeting and tacky furniture? I was all-too-familiar with that. Check out pictures of my old house if you don't believe me. Okay, maybe my life wasn't as orangey-tacky as the Bradys', but it never occurred to me they were from another era. All I saw were kids who had wacky adventures, whose problems were neatly solved in 30 minutes or less.

Last year, I was babysitting for a 7-year-old girl who got to watch one hour of TV a day. Out of all the options available to her on the glorious invention that is satellite TV, one of her daily TV choices was Brady Bunch reruns. Once I joined her for a viewing. I found myself laughing at the jokes and Brady hi-jinks. It's been nearly 40 years since the show premiered, and it's still entertaining people of all ages. The Bradys, like it or not, will live on.

Far out. 

---

FULL HOUSE Years It Aired: 1987-1995 Years I Was Into It: 1990-

 

Full House entered my life when I was 8 or 9. Some of the other girls in my class watched it regularly, and they would come to school talking about the jokes, the quotes, the music, and the plots. I didn't watch the show. I was the girl with the 8 o'clock bedtime. But when it went into syndication a few years later, I caught episodes here and there. And as my bedtime increased to 8:30, I even got to see some of the newer ones.

The summer I turned 12, I got really into it. When the 1992 season premier rolled around, I was looking forward to it like nobody's business. That was the episode where Stephanie and Michelle accidentally flew to New Zealand. I remember that because there was a picture in our local TV guide of Stephanie and Michelle in the plane going "Aughhh!" I was also super excited to see how they'd change the theme song pictures. See, every season, the actors would smile at the camera in a new way during the theme song. Okay, so the adults' smiles didn't always change year-to-year, but the kids' did. Hmmm, what will D.J. be doing this year? Will she put on her lipstick? Will she talk on the phone? THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!

I can't think of any show I was more in love with from the ages of 11&1/2 to 13&1/2 than Full House. I used to imagine the future reunion show... What will the Tanners be doing in 10 years? Although I wasn't quite as obsessed during its final season, I still watched most of the episodes. Afterwards, I made it my goal to watch any TV-movie or film with one of the cast members. This is how I found myself in a theater watching It Takes Two, starring the Olsen Twins. (For what it's worth, it's a good movie. Really!)

For years I watched the show in syndication. I saw many of the episodes multiple times. There are certain ones I love -- the episodes where the Tanners go to Disney World, for instance. There are episodes I can't stand -- pretty much any episode where Michelle thinks Uncle Jesse is mean and doesn't like her anymore. 
When the show was released on DVD, I made good use of my Netflix account and began watching them in order. It's funny; sometimes when I watch episodes from season 2, 3, and 4 I can clearly remember snippets of conversations from my fellow elementary school classmates. How they sang Beach Boys songs on the playground after one or more of the Beach-Boy-cameo episodes had aired. How they envied D.J. the time she got $20 from a bewildered tooth fairy. How I had no idea who the heck they were talking about, but I wasn't about to admit it.

Some people think the show was corny... yes, it could be. Some think it was overly-sentimental... sure, sometimes. But I liked it then and I like it now. Maybe I just like sentimentality and silliness. Maybe Full House just my kind of show.

And I'm still waiting for that reunion movie. 
(2018 update: Ugh, WHY?)

---

MR. ROGERS' NEIGHBORHOOD Years It Aired: 1968-2001 Years I Was Into It: 1985-1992

 

When I was really little, I didn't have a choice in what I watched on television... my parents would turn on the TV and wrench the dial to the appropriate channel. As I got older, I'd assert my independence by sneaking downstairs on Saturday mornings and sitting through five hours of cartoons. But at age five, my parents had control -- and one of them, I forget who, introduced me to Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.

Rewatching some of the old episodes, it's clear to me why I didn't object to this choice. Mr. Rogers was a great show for little kids. It was predictable to a point -- Mr. Rogers followed certain routines every day, which kids at that age tend to appreciate. Mr. Rogers would always start off the show with the same song. He'd change from a sports coat into a sweater and he'd change his shoes. He'd feed his pet fish and take us to the land of Make-Believe for some puppet action. But would we travel there by trolley, or would he get out the toy models instead? (And how cool was it that he had an actual trolley running through his house?)

In the end, he'd sing a song -- typically one song in particular -- bid us goodbye, and leave. Which didn't make a lot of sense, because if this was his house, why was he leaving? Where was he going? I thought he slept here! Okay, so there's no bedroom. Maybe he has two homes! Maybe he has a mistress! Maybe.....

Sure, sometimes Mr. Rogers seemed a bit creepy. He'd address the children at home via the camera, speaking to us, asking us questions. I remember when I first began watching the show, I thought Mr. Rogers really could see me, because it seemed like no matter where I moved in the room, his eyes followed me. I'm still not convinced they don't. The puppets in the Land of Make-Believe were a huge step down from the puppets I was used to watching (Muppets); their mouths didn't even move! And they had lame names! And Lady Elaine Fairchild was the freakiest-looking thing in puppet history! But still, they amused me.

Aside from the trolley, the fish, and the land of Make-Believe, Mr. Rogers's day often included visitors to his home, including the postman Mr. McFeely, who'd deliver messages. Sometimes Mr. Rogers would pay a visit elsewhere, including trips to factories where things like graham crackers or crayons were produced. These were special events because few people get to see what goes on behind factory doors... and for me, especially, these were mesmerizing segments. Even when Mr. Rogers didn't go anywhere and didn't have visitors, he'd make things interesting in his home. He might make a simple craft; he might do some sort of science demonstration using sand or water. Everything he did was simple, but he made it sound like it was the most exciting thing in the world.

Like many other shows of my childhood, Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood encouraged creativity. I was all about that. But he also made you feel good. He sang songs about how we were special. Sometimes, even now, I listen to his songs, and for a second I really believe it. I am special... because Mr. Rogers says so, dammit!  

---

FUN HOUSE Years It Aired: 1988-1991 Years I Was Into It: 1988-1990

In the late 80s and early 90s, weekday afternoon television was pretty fantastic. In between DuckTales, Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego, Square One TV, and the occasional rerun of Small Wonder, there was this zany, exciting, oft-messy game show called Fun House.

Each day, two teams of kids would compete for a chance to run through a prize-tag-filled fun house. The first round of competitions involved trivia and doing messy or goofy tasks, like trying to run with slimy balloons or building each other into foam sandwiches. The second round featured a race around a track, where one teammate would often push the other in some kind of cart, they would try to collect things for points.

Those rounds were all fine and good. But they were nothing compared to to the end result, the grand finale, the place every kid wished she could live...

THE FUN HOUSE


In the Fun House round, the team with the highest score in the earlier rounds got 2 minutes to run through a multi-level construction filled with booby traps, barriers, and goop, trying to collect prize tags. The players had to go one at a time, and each person could only take 3 tags per trip (before having to trade out with the other player). Those 2 minutes went by fast, so while more adept teams could often score 6-7 tags, some teams got fewer. The prizes were things any kid between 10 and 14 could want: TVs, stereos, walkmen, bikes, trips to Disney World... and cash, beautiful cash.

Evolving over time, the Fun House seemed to get better and better. I remember a rotating tube they could crawl through. A room filled with balloons they had to push or pop past. A room with shower doors, where some were locked and some weren't -- thereby turning it into a maze. Later in the show's run, there was a water slide that dropped you into a pool.

My younger brother and I loved Fun House so much, we tried constructing our own interpretation in the basement... but we only got as far as the balloons and a hastily-made tunnel. We made lofty plans to apply for the show together, as soon as both of us were old enough (you had to be at least 10.) Unfortunately, it was canceled more than a year before he reached that age.

In 1990, Fun House went into syndication and moved to another channel -- our local FOX affiliate, which our TV only barely received. This was devastating. It was worse than if the show had been outright canceled, because we knew it was airing -- we just couldn't see much more than than gray static. Maybe a red arm here, a glint of a giant foam sandwich there... And so, sadly, we moved on.

J.D. Roth, Fun House's young, spunky, red-headed host would not be forgotten. I saw his name appear as producer on The Biggest Loser recently. I picture him looking just like he did 20 years ago. It's quite comical, actually. And when I see his name, I remember the fun house, the waterslide, the race track, the stunts... and I smile. Every kid should have a show like Fun House -- a legendary, messy, all-kinds-of-awesome weekday afternoon show. 

---

The above TV show profiles were written in 2008 and published on my old website AlligatorJuice.com.

Why 'Fuller House' Kinda Freaks Me Out

The more I hear about the forthcoming Netflix-produced series Fuller House, the more freaked out I get.

This is probably not a statement you'd expect to hear from a girl who spent many of her formative years obsessing over Full House: admiring DJ, trying to be like Stephanie, and resisting the urge to reach through the TV screen and strangle the oft-bratty Michelle. I loved the show, and when it went off the air in 1995, I was disappointed. Even though the eighth and final season was pretty awful, the cancellation of the series meant the end of the familiar Tanner Family saga. The Tanners would now only live on in our minds (and perhaps, crappy fanfic.)

I've lost a lot of TV shows over the years. I've bonded with the characters and obsessed over the story arcs, only to have the series swept out from under me by cruel, greedy, and possibly evil (in my mind) network executives. The first few times it happened, I mourned my beloved shows bitterly. But soon I came to realize that I should never get too attached. The TV environment is too uncertain, too brittle. (For what it's worth, I watch very little TV anymore.)

When we last left the Tanners in 1995, Michelle had fallen off a horse and gotten amnesia, but regained her memory before the end of the show. Stephanie and Danny were both (separately, I hope) dating. DJ had broken up with Steve a year or so before, but in the finale, he made a surprise appearance and took DJ to her senior prom. 

And then... that was it.

In the 20.5 since Full House went off the air, I've gone through high school, college, and several jobs. I've watched half my friends get married, and seen half of those friends have kids -- some of whom are now the same age I was when I discovered Full House. In those two decades I've experienced the loss of multiple relatives, two cats, and a plethora of small pets. I've published a novel, produced a web series, maintained a website, built a backyard playground structure, constructed a chicken coop, traveled to many places, seen my little brother get married, and enjoyed the addition of a baby niece.

Meanwhile, the Tanners remained stagnant, frozen in time, in a distant memory where they were all standing in their kitchen, bidding the audience goodbye.

Only it turns out, it wasn't the last time. They weren't frozen. They were still living their lives, parallel to mine, only I wasn't aware of it.

Thanks to Fuller House, we'll see that (spoiler alert?) DJ Tanner is a widow with three boys, Kimmy Gibbler has a daughter, and Stephanie is... well, I'm not really sure what. And they all live in the same San Francisco house.

I know it's fiction, I know the Tanners aren't real. But the actors are. How surreal must it be for them to be back on a familiar set (well, a new set built to resemble the original set) with familiar people who they must have regarded as family for eight years, but then had ripped away from them? Yeah, I know most of the cast has kept in touch over the years. Photos of mini-reunions have been frequent. But now... to be back... working long days, with the same people... as if nothing ever changed....

But it has changed. Candace Cameron Bure (DJ) may still be a TV-movie princess, but she's also a married mother with a 17-year-old daughter and two younger sons. John Stamos is still considered something of a heartthrob, but there was that whole marriage to Rebecca Romijn that's been over long enough for Rebecca to be remarried and have 7-year-old twin daughters. The Olsen Twins have made a dozen movies, gone to college, started a fashion line, and somehow also found the time to genetically manufacture a sister to take their place in Hollywood. Bob Saget finally escaped from America's Funniest Home Videos, but I'm not aware of any career he has had beyond stand-up comedy. And Jodie Sweetin, well....

Although I admired and looked up to DJ, Stephanie Tanner (as played by Sweetin) was my favorite, probably because we were close in age. After Full House ended, things kind of went south for Sweetin, as she explained in her memoir UnSweetined. Losing the familiarity of the Full House family contributed to her drinking, which led to drugs, which led to a full-on meth addiction. She has been married and divorced three times. I don't wish to judge her by any means, but the knowledge of these things certainly affects how I see her, and even how I see Stephanie.

It's been 20 years. We've all grown up. A million things happened. Yet for the Tanners, a family we said goodbye to, life has apparently been chugging on, unbeknownst to us. And next month, they will once again open their doors and invite us to share in the ups and downs of large-family life in San Francisco.

As if nothing has changed...

...except everything has.

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Related Post: Fuller House? Oh, Puh-Lease!

Fuller House? Oh, Puh-Lease!

I grew up watching and loving Full House, so whenever I hear rumors of a reboot, a little part of me gets excited... but the better part of me screams NOOOOO, DANGIT! (I also get this way when I hear people talking about a 4th Back To The Future film, a Goonies sequel, and/or a Harrison Ford-less Indiana Jones. Bad. No. Do not want.)

I'm not sure if a Full House reboot is something I would want, though I will admit that when it was cancelled in 1995, I was quite surprised. I spent many hours thinking of what the Tanners might be doing "in the future." The show was actually doing quite well in the ratings when it was canned. Sure, its quality had deteriorated, and they had started recycling plot lines and throwing continuity out the window (ie Becky is a great singer during the telethon episode, but singing to her kids at bedtime four years later, she's awful) buuut it's a show that I loved... and if shows that I don't love can get reunions and reboots and revivals, why can't Full House? I mean, it's only fair.

The thing is, though... they're saying this show might be on Netflix and that it might be called Fuller House and that it may be about D.J. and Kimmy bein' chums. Don't get me wrong. I like D.J. and I like Kimmy. But is that really the best they can come up with?

Because I've been thinking about this. And I have a few "Full House Reboot" ideas of my own....

Full House Of Friends

Michelle Tanner, now in her 20s, is just trying to make it in the big city. She's roommates with Lisa and Denise, and they live next door to Teddy, Derek, and Aaron. Everybody dates everybody else. Romantic complications abound. Similarities to Friends are entirely coincidental. Elizabeth Olsen stars as Michelle. 

Projected Success: 3 seasons on FOX

Empty House

Poor Danny! Everyone has moved out, leaving Danny all alone

in that great big house of his. What's a guy to do? After putting an ad on Craigslist, looking for roommates, Danny is inundated with visits from all kinds of wacky characters, including a guy who just doesn't respect Spring Cleaning Season, and a lady whose red hair reminds him too much of Vicky, God rest her soul. Will Danny find the perfect roommates, or go insane trying? Wanda Sykes and David Spade co-star. 

Projected Success: 1 season on ABC

Full Mansion

After winning the lottery, D.J. and Steve get married and have nine children and move to Beverly Hills. Stephanie, who has been estranged from the family for some time thanks to some really terrible decisions, disguises herself in order to apply for the role of the family's maid. She gets the job, but will she be able to keep her true identity under wraps?

Projected Success: 4 seasons on ABC Family

                                   

Full Apartment

Michelle is having great success in the fashion world, and lives in her own place in New York City. She even has a great boyfriend. But her life is thrown for a loop when Stephanie shows up on her doorstep one night, holding nothing but a hamster cage and a hatbox, and convinces Michelle to let her spend the night. One night turns into six months. Things get even crazier when Joey shows up.

Projected Success: Thirteen episodes on NBC

Full-On Crazy

After a painful divorce, Stephanie accepts an invitation from Cousin Steve (Kirk Cameron) to move to Baltimore and become an au pair for his three kids. When she arrives, she's surprised to learn that the kids are huge brats. Can she tame the younguns with her smarts & savvy? Will she successfully teach them how to tap dance and sing Baby Beluga? Hello, is her last name "Tanner"? Well then, of cour-- oh, nevermind, she changed it.

Projected Success: 1 season on The CW

Full House: Seeing Double

Nicky and Alex Katsopolis are all grown up and married, and they both have -- you guessed it -- twins! Naturally, their families all live together -- along with Danny, who has no place else to go after a ne'er-minded pot roast causes his house to burn to the ground, taking all the neighboring homes with it. (He is subsequently run out of San Francisco by an angry mob.) With three sets of twins under one roof, life is never dull. 

Projected Success: 3 seasons on The Disney Channel

Reawaken, San Francisco!

In a post-apocalyptic world, the Tanners are scattered across the globe, trying to make it back to San Francisco in time to say good-bye to Danny, who has contracted a deadly flesh-eating virus. A nuclear waste spill causes Michelle to gain superpowers, and that causes Stephanie to become jealous. Joey, who has spent a lifetime being the joke, finally becomes a hero -- and then a zombie.

Projected Success: 1 season, straight to DVD

Which of these would you be most eager to watch? Leave a comment if you dare.

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(in case it wasn't clear, i am, in fact, joking)