Glossy Time Capsules #36
Price: 15 cents
(CW: Racist depictions; sexism; body shaming.)
The Delineator was a women's magazine with a heavy focus on fashion. It began as The Metropolitan Monthly back in 1869. This issue is from May, 1906... and what a time that was! Construction hadn't even started on the Titanic. World War I was still 8 years away. The San Francisco earthquake had just happened (and was unknown to these folks when this issue likely went to print!) Theodore Roosevelt was the U.S. President. Walt Disney was 4. And Lucile Randon, currently the oldest living woman in the world (as of 11/23/22) , was 2.
Lucile Randon, From Wikipedia
I wonder if Lucile's long life can be attributed to wearing one of these as a baby...?
"The Rubens shirt is a veritable life-preserver. No child should be without it. It affords full protection to lungs and abdomen, thus preventing colds and coughs, so fatal to a great many children. Get the Rubens Shirt at once. Take no other, no matter what any unprogressive dealer may say. If he doesn't keep it write to us."
So I read the first page of this story. Then I kept reading and, to my surprise, grew more invested... and by gum I actually finished the story! It was awful, but I came away with two conclusions:
1. This author is no Jane Austen, but I can't help wondering if she was a fan... because this story has a Wentworth, a Dalrymple, a handsome captain, an attempted love declaration halted by a misunderstanding AND a nearby encampment of soldiers. Hello.
2. The author must have been paid by the adverb. In the story's mere six pages, she uses: briskly, carelessly, cheerfully, comfortably, cordially, doubtfully, eagerly, earnestly, graciously, half-jokingly, heartily, hospitably, huskily, hurriedly, judicially, kindly, longingly, mournfully, peacefully, pleasantly, politely, prosaically, seriously, severely, sharply, truthfully, and unexpectedly. She also treats us to these delightful modifiers: In a tone of easy command, With enjoyment, With a preoccupied expression, With conviction, With good-natured satire, In mock surprise, In an injured tone, With a beating heart, With a sober face, In his kindest voice, and With a grave face and a twinkle in his eye.
I actually kind of like that one!^
All right, let's move on to your favorite magazine feature and mine (okay, mostly mine)... it's...