Wednesday, August 25, 2021

Book Review: Baby-Sitters Club Super Special #5: California Girls!

THIS.

Baby-Sitters Club Super Special #5, California Girls!, hit store shelves right at the height of my BSC fandom. I was ten years old, and I was all in. I've probably re-read this book a dozen times. But it's been a while. 

So... back to 1990 we go!

Our story today is bookended by the original California Girl herself, Dawn Schafer...

In the prologue (!) we learn that Claudia has been giving her dad money to buy her lottery tickets for ages, and ever since the lotto recently climbed to $23 million, all the BSC members have been obsessed with winning. One weekend, they get Dawn's mom to buy them seven tickets. When the lotto numbers are announced, one of the tickets has 5 out of the 6 winning numbers, so they win $10,000. Split seven ways, it's about $1,400 for each of them. Taxes are 100% never mentioned. 

What to do with these riches? Luckily, the baby-sitters have another school vacation coming up. I'm trying to remember if this is the first time the BSC has had a random, middle-of-the-year two-week vacation. Well, it won't be the last. Dawn suggests they all go to California. Mallory says, "Ooh, California" -- and they all start packing.

Chapter 1 goes to Dawn again and (yawn) she does the whole "how-the-club works" explanation, and a breakdown of each of the other characters. I really feel that these things should be left out of Super Specials EXCEPT that we get an epic Claudia outfit description out of it, so hey... I'll allow it.

[Claudia was] wearing a red shirt with Mexican hats and cactus plants printed on it, and blue-and-white striped pants held up by polka-dotted suspenders. On her head was what look like an engineer's cap (it matched her pants), and dangling from her ears were miniature cowboy boots, which she'd made herself.

Stacey's outfit, by comparison, is rather boring:

Stacey was wearing wide-legged, cropped pants; her Hard Rock Cafe T-short; and high-topped running shoes.

Anyway, so it's official, they're all going to go to California and stay at Dawn's dad's house. Travel day arrives, and they board a jumbo jet. The plane has the classic two seat-five seat-two seat arrangement. Before takeoff, Mallory asks if anyone wants to play hangman. Jessi advises her that this flight will be long, so "Maybe we should save hangman for later." (Never is probably fine, too.) The girls learn that the in-flight movie will be Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo, which they've never heard of, but they're willing to give it a try. (Cue the renting of headphones!)

The girls call back and forth to each other about what they want to do when they get to L.A. Suggestions include: Knott's Berry Farm (Jessi has never heard of it), Hollywood, Grauman's Chinese Theater, and a wax museum. When Jessi suggests the San Diego Zoo, Dawn shuts her down: "Do you know how far that is from Los Angeles? California's a big state." Okay, so no zoo, but Jessi is  excited to reconnect with Derek Masters, the Stoneybrook-born child star from book #27, and she has been invited to go watch him film his TV series in a few days. Thinks Jessi: "My vacation was off to an incredible start!"

They all arrive safely in California, and are retrieved by Dawn's dad. Back at the house, Dad's girlfriend, Carol, is there. Dawn does not like Carol... for several reasons, one being that Carol acts like she's younger than she really is. We're going to hear lots more about this as the book goes on.

The next day, everyone is jet-lagged, so they don't make any big plans. Dawn's friend Sunny invites everyone to her house to meet the We ❤ Kids Club, the baby-sitting club that's based on the BSC. Thinks Kristy: I was already beginning to feel... funny. I knew there was no reason to be competitive, but, well, I did feel that I had sort of invented baby-sitting clubs, and that I knew best. Kristy is stunned to learn how laid-back this other club is. Why don't they have strict rules, and a notebook, and... and....?  A call comes in for a job that no one can take, and the job is offered to Mary Anne. The little girl is named Stephie. Sunny & friends tell the BSCers that Stephie has asthma... but she knows how to control it. That's when we get this incredible line:

"Wait!" cried Mallory. "What's asthma? What's an inhalator?"

I was ten when I read this book, and I at least had heard of asthma. Still, I remember this whole subplot made me very nervous as a kid. Stephie might stop breathing at any moment! AUGH!

Then another call comes in, and it's the parent of two boys that NO ONE wants to sit for. EVER. Kristy, intent on showing the W❤KC a thing or two (and convinced she can handle anything) agrees to take the job.

On Monday, Carol takes the baby-sitters to the beach (Dawn's dad has to work). Claudia scopes out a cute guy, talks to him, and is dismayed when she realizes he's very smart. Stacey takes surfing lessons, and falls in love with the sport. Mallory's marbles begin to tumble out and roll into the ocean. "Every single girl here is blonde," she says. "That is so unfair. I want to be a California girl too." Mallory then has the idea to buy some blonde hair dye. Meanwhile, Dawn seethes at everything Carol both does, and does not, do.

The next day, Stacey goes to the beach again, so she can go surfing once more. She goes with some surfers Dawn introduced her to... friends of friends of the family or whatnot. While at the beach, Stacey runs into Terry, the smart guy Claudia was interested in the day before. Claudia had told Stacey she wouldn't be pursuing Terry any further, but Stacey ignores this and gives Terry Claudia's (well, technically Dawn's) phone number. 

That evening, Terry calls. Claudia is furious with Stacey for butting in, and privately calls her a rat. Stacey is unfazed. She's doing Claudia a favor! Everyone knows matchmaking is a lost art.

So Terry calls and asks Claudia out. They go to an Italian restaurant and an Italian movie. Claudia can't read the subtitles quickly enough, and the movie is a bore. She laments that she feels she's all wrong for Terry. Later, she tries to talk to Carol about the situation, but they're interrupted by Dawn before Carol can get out her whole piece of advice. Claudia only hears the first part of it, and is led to believe that changing her personality to make a relationship work might actually be a good thing? (I can see where this is going.)

Mary Anne babysits for Stephie, and everything goes fine except that Mary Anne is SO nervous about Stephie having an asthma attack that she distracts the kid every time she wants to do something physical. Despite this, Mary Anne and Stephie bond over having no mothers and strict fathers, and no asthma attacks are had... in this chapter, anyway.

Then we have Mallory. Mallory's plot is probably in the top 3 of memorable things from this book (after Stacey's and Claudia's). So, back on Tuesday, Carol agreed to take Mallory and Jessi to the Max Factor Museum of Beauty, and they had a good time. But now Mallory is obsessed with beauty. And she's still wanting to be a blonde, so that she can be a true California Girl. So on Wednesday Mal asks if they can go to this huge mall that they passed on the way to Hollywood the day before. Carol says fine, and Dawn, Kristy, and Jeff end up going to the mall, too. They all go ice-skating and eat lunch, and then Mallory says BYYYEEEE and heads for the makeup counters.

A saleswoman greets Mallory, who then proceeds to say "I need a complete makeover." The woman brings Mallory a crapload of stuff, and Mallory BUYS IT ALL. (Read: Mallory gets bamboozled by a savvy salesclerk.) The book doesn't say how much Mal spent, but the implication is that it's over $100, and maybe several hundred. Mallory also buys some (allegedly wash-out) blonde hair dye. That evening, she dyes her hair, much to the horror of the other baby-sitters, but especially Jessi.

Every time I read this book, I would think, "What DID Mallory look like with blonde hair?" The illustration on the front cover has her with red hair, and (spoiler alert) by the end of the book she'll have dyed it back, so we just don't know what she looked like as a blonde...

UNTIL NOW!

This is my best depiction of Mallory before the makeover and the dye:

And this is Mallory afterward: 

Say what you will.

This exchange between Jessi and Mal is classic:

"Do you like it?" I asked. 

"Mallory Pike," said Jessi, who was absolutely simmering, "it is not you. Plus you've just blown all your money on stuff you won't even be able to use after our vacation." (Because the Pikes are weirdly strict about letting Mallory wear makeup.)

"I don't care," I said haughtily. I felt like a California Girl at last.

Mallory seems to be going through some kind of personal crisis within, and I am HERE for it. So what's going on here? Well, this is the first time she's been away from her entire family for two whole weeks. And clearly Mallory is struggling with her looks, and wants to fit in. But instead of, like, asking Claudia and Stacey to let her try on some of their makeup, she just goes all out? I wonder if it has something to do with the lotto winnings. Maybe Mallory has never had that much money in her life, and... well, she IS eleven years old. I'm sure this won't be the last rash decision she makes in her youth.

Annnnyway.

Jessi goes to visit the set of the sitcom P.S. 162 with the family of Derek Masters, that actor kid from Stoneybrook. While there, she learns a bit about filming a TV show. Then, when some additional people are needed for a crowd scene, Jessi volunteers, and the director chooses her. The best part? The director said he liked [Jessi's] looks. The 10-second scene takes three hours to shoot, but Jessi loves the experience. And... could it be... is she getting the acting bug again...? (She got it back in book 27.)

A new day dawns, and everyone is going to the beach again! But Stacey doesn't want to ride with Carol and the other baby-sitters... she wants to ride with her new surfer friends. Today, when the surfer kids pick her up, there's a new driver. His name is Beau and Stacey thinks he should've alternately been named Wild. He runs yellow lights and drives like he's got nine lives. Stacey's half-terrified, half-thrilled. But she gets to the beach and has so much adrenaline pumping that she skips her surfing lesson and just rents a board. Later, she wipes out in front of her BSC pals, but who cares? (Hint: Not Stacey!)

The W❤KC comes over to Dawn's place for a sleepover, and Dawn announces that her dad is planning to take the BSC-ers (and Jeff) to Universal Studios on Saturday. But that's the day Kristy is baby-sitting for the two bratty boys! What to do? Bring them along, of course! The W❤KC ladies try to convince Kristy this is a terrible idea, but Kristy is determined. Then Mary Anne gets the idea to invite Stephie to Universal Studios, too! I'm telling you, these baby-sitters can not go on a simple vacation without basically adopting children TO baby-sit for. It might be an illness.

On Friday, Claudia has another date with Terry. She's once again nervous -- what will they even talk about? He's so smart, blah de blah. Claudia even dresses conservatively for this date -- she borrows a dress from Dawn. It was simple -- a small-flowered print with half sleeves, a regular old waistline, and a nice lace collar. I had borrowed a pair of flat pink shoes from Mary Anne. I looked like a nine-year-old. Or maybe a grandmother.

Terry takes Claudia to a fancy, romantic French restaurant, where Claudia accidentally orders escargot. Meanwhile, she tries to bring up a subject Terry might be interested in: the Soviet Union! (Can you get more 1990?) Then Terry brings up the greenhouse effect, and Claudia has no idea what that is. (10 year old me: "Same.") It's such a miserable date that [Claudia] cried in the car on the way home, but Terry didn't notice. Hello, Claudia, maybe he's crying too!?

Saturday is Universal Studios day, and Mr. Schafer transports the seven baby-sitters, Jeff, and three random children to the theme park. Mallory is excited because she has heard that during certain stage shows, they pick people from the audience to be in the spotlight. She's sure that with her gorgeous new looks, she will be picked. Meanwhile, she has to borrow money from Jessi to even get into the park, and later, when half the crew buy disposal cameras (SO QUAINT!) she feels a little left out. Later, Mallory is NOT selected to be a volunteer in the shows (Jeff is, though), and Jessi begins driving Mallory crazy. Every time they learn something new about special effects, Jessi says something like: "I knew that... I learned it on the set of P.S. 162.

Thinks Mallory: "I was fascinated, but I would have been even more interested if Jessi hadn't been acting like such a know-it-all. I almost told her to shut up, but I realized that I needed to borrow money from her. Besides, we're best friends and we'd never had a fight. I didn't want to start one then."

Kristy makes it through the day at Universal with the two bratty boys, and feels quite proud of herself by the end of it. (I just hope it was worth it, Kristy.) Stephie has a great time at the park, but Mary Anne spends most of the day worrying about an impending asthma attack. Claudia spends the day worrying too, but not about kids -- about Terry. When they return from the park, she decides to do the unthinkable. She calls her older sister, Janine. And their exchange is delightful:

(Why Claudia called...) I wanted to ask her about world affairs.

"World affairs?" repeated Janine.

"Yeah. You know, like greenhouses and stuff."

"Do you mean Greenpeace? Or the greenhouse effect?"

"Anything," I said. "I know there are things going on in Russia and -- and in other countries. And some wall came down."

"Claudia, you're on vacation," said my sister. "Why do you need to know these things? It seems quite odd."

"I need to know them," I said, sighing, "to impress a boy. A really smart boy I met on the beach."

Janine urges Claudia to be herself, and also suggests she invite Terry to go with the group when they go to Hollywood the next day. Lo and behold, it turns out Terry likes old movies and movie stars and stuff, and he agrees to come, and has a great time. Claudia finally opens up about her art and the BSC to him. At the end of a great day, Claudia thinks: I realized I wanted to keep seeing Terry. How come such a great guy had to live in California when I live in Connecticut? Oh, well. There was nothing we could do about that.

I mean, there are things you could do about that, Claudia, but it's probably best to save any transcontinental moves until you're out of the eighth grade. So... only 10 years to go.

Jessi gets invited back to the set of P.S. 162, and this time she's allowed to bring Mallory along. Even though they're on shaky ground, Jessi really wants to make an effort to get their friendship back on track. Meanwhile, Jessi's also feeling pressure about the whole acting thing. Derek is always trying to convince her to get an agent and become an actress or model. And she doesn't want to have to tell him no. (Keep in mind, Derek is EIGHT.) Jessi's true love is ballet, and that's that. So she's not super excited about visiting the set again. 

But they go, and once again, the director needs extras for a crowd scene. Mallory is certain she'll be picked, but... nope! The most epic line of the entire book happens here, and it comes right from the director:

"Sorry. I'd like to let you in this scene, but your looks aren't quite right."

Mallory is truly shaken. HOW? How could her looks not be "right"?

Back at Dawn's, Mal mopes a bit, and Jessi gives her a pep talk. Mal says she realizes she got carried away with the whole makeup and hair dye thing. Jessi and Mal are now true friends again. But then Stacey comes bounding in and says they're all going to go to a movie theater to see Mary Poppins. Mal doesn't feel like going, which... totally legit. But the next day, when she decides to stay home while the rest of the girls go to Knott's Berry Farm, well, that's not okay. 

When the girls get back, Kristy overhears Mal talking to herself in the mirror, calling herself ugly and a toad. Kristy confronts her... rather rudely, I might add. But one good thing comes out of Kristy's speech -- she convinces Mallory that the old, red-headed Mallory was preferable. And the other BSCers chime in and agree. Mallory concedes that she would like to go back to being a redhead, but that the blonde washout dye isn't exactly as washy-outy as she thought it would be. 

"Then there's just one solution," says Stacey. "You'll have to dye your hair red again."

And that's what is done.

Then Stacey and Claudia offer to buy Mallory's makeup from her, which is especially nice considering A) it might not even be their colors/type, and B) clearly this makeup was an overpriced ripoff (not that I think they're paying full price or anything.) Still... nice friends, there.

A day or so later, Stacey goes to the beach to surf again, and this time, disaster strikes. On the way home, Beau the wild driver is speeding and he switches lanes without checking his blind spot, and sideswipes another car. A chain reaction ensues, and their car hits a truck, and then a guard rail. Even though multiple vehicles are involved in the crash, no one is seriously hurt. Beau asks the others to lie for him about his awful driving, but Stacey won't do it. This causes the others to shoot daggers at her, and she realizes she'll probably never see any of those kids again.

Stacey has to call Dawn's dad to pick her up from the hospital (where they all end up). Carol is the one who answers the phone. Thinks Stacey: Oh, that was perfect. Carol was just like one of us. If she picked me up at the hospital, Mr. Schafer might never even know about the accident. HAHAHA, Stacey, THINK AGAIN! Of course Carol tells Mr. Schafer, because YES, the lady who has been carting you seven ingrates around for the past week and a half HAPPENS TO BE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT.

So they all go back to Dawn's, and Stacey has to tell Mr. Schafer what happened, and oh, I feel for her. I felt for her reading this as a kid, too. He asks her what lesson she's learned from all this. It's so awkward! They also call Stacey's parents (individually? I guess) and let them know what happened.

Meanwhile, all this makes Dawn gain respect for Carol. So much so that she tells her dad it's okay with her if he eventually marries Carol. 

Later, Dawn tells Jeff to "give Carol a chance." She even writes a letter to Carol and hands it to her, basically saying Carol is all right with her. It's very sweet, but it also seems like a really quick about-face. Give Carol a chance? Fine. Tell your dad it's okay if they get married? Um, maybe wait a week...?

The vacation is drawing to a close. Mary Anne babysits for Stephie one last time, and THIS IS IT. THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN DREADING. Stephie (I keep wanting to call her Sophie) has an asthma attack. And Mary Anne has been so diligent, so careful. But in vain. While contemplating Mary Anne having to return to Stoneybrook, Stephie has an attack.

But Mary Anne is ready. She has Stephie's inhaler (they keep calling it an inhalator, which... okay) at hand, and gives it to Stephie. Stephie survives, and she and Mary Anne bond still further. They promise to become pen pals. (We've heard Mary Anne promise that to people she's met on vacation before, and she's not delivered, so... beware, Stephie.)

Dawn takes the last two chapters and uses them to reflect on the lessons everyone has learned during this trip. One important one that maybe Kristy learned? She's not the baby-sitting expert of the galaxy. 

Dawn, of course, has learned that Carol is A-OK. I decided that Carol was a kid and an adult at the same time, and that was nice. She would do kooky things with us, but she knew when to open her mouth and when not to. 

On the final full day in California, the girls go to Magic Mountain and Medieval Times. The next day they say their goodbyes and fly back to Connecticut.

Dawn: So that's our story. Did you ever think that a lottery ticket could cause all this -- a trip, a boyfriend, surfing, dyed hair...

Yeah, okay. It feels like surfing is kind of demonized in this book. Like, Stacey loves it... and sure, surfing is the reason why she wants to go to the beach, and that's why she gets into the car with the teens, and eventually that turns out to be a bad thing. But none of that is the fault of surfing itself. I guess mayyybe surfing could have led to drowning? But c'mon! These baby-sitters need more sports in their lives! Let Stacey have this one thing!

OH WELL.

Let's take a look at our trusty Super Special tropes checklist...

☑Will someone make an unusual friend who is then never heard from again? Yes, Mary Anne and Stephie, and I guess Stacey and her surfing buddies.

☑Will one of the baby-sitters fall in LUV? (Yes, Claudia + Terry.)

☑Will at least one baby-sitter who is supposed to be on vacation/sans children be put in a position where they must care for children anyway? (Yes, Mary Anne and Stephie, and Kristy and the bratty boys.)

☑Will someone have a near-death experience? (We have two! Stephie's asthma attack and Stacey's car accident.)

☑Will someone act like a major jerk, even though they're normally pretty pleasant? (Jessi acts like a know-it-all at Universal, Kristy acts superior to the W❤KC, and Mallory does all kinds of annoying things, including hogging the bathroom at Dawn's house so she can apply her makeup. She's in there for, like, an hour, when there are six other girls that need to use the facilities. Rude little thing.)

☑Will the airplane seats have two seats, then five seats, then two more? (YES YES YESSSSS!!!!)

* * *

Things the various baby-sitters learn about throughout the book:

•Knott's Berry Farm (Jessi initially thinks it's a berry farm)

•Asthma (Mallory has never heard of it, apparently)

•Elaine Stritch (Jessi and Mal have no clue about the actress who's guest-starring on P.S.162.)

•Escargot (Snails, Claudia! Snails!)

•Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo

Things California Girls taught 10-year-old me...

*Escargots is NOT pronounced ess-car-gotts

*Max Factor = makeup

*Wash-out hair dye doesn't necessarily wash out

*Always wear your seat belt, but also maybe don't drive around with hooligans

*The San Diego Zoo is really far from Los Angeles because California's A Big State


* * *
A quick aside...
My 1991 California Adventure

My family and I went on a trip to California almost exactly one year after this book came out, and I couldn't wait to see how many things on our trip would line up with things in the BSC books. How accurate was it? 

So, the Universal Studios stuff felt very spot-on. The animal effects show the girls go to -- that's a perennial thing at the park. The Conan show is mentioned in this book -- we went to that, and I loved it. The studio tour was a little different than what was described in the book... once we got in the tram, we stayed in it till the end of the ride. Our special effects demo was a separate thing, but... I got chosen as a volunteer! I was just like Jeff! Only he he was chosen to portray Elliott from E.T., and I was picked to be Jennifer from Back to the Future II. (THE DREAM!) 

I didn't think there'd be any real chance of being an extra on a TV show, like Jessi, since I didn't personally know any child stars myself, but we actually did get to do that! The Dom DeLuise version of Candid Camera was filming at Universal in 1991, and my brother and I got to be on camera for a segment along with a dozen other kids. Being on TV was a huge thrill.

My family went to Knott's Berry Farm on that trip, but I can't compare it to the BSC's experience, because they go there during a Mallory chapter, and Mallory doesn't go with them! FOOL.

We didn't go to Magic Mountain, Medieval Times, or Hollywood on that trip. We also didn't go to any malls, and I didn't get a makeover. 

Unlike the baby-sitters, we visited the Queen Mary and the Spruce Goose. I think Dawn, particularly, would've enjoyed the QM's haunted tour (I decidedly did not), but perhaps she'd already done that earlier in her life.

And also unlike the baby-sitters, my family went to Disneyland. WHY DON'T THE BABY-SITTERS GO THERE? Seems like such a waste. (And yes, I have drunk the Disney kool-aid... would you care for a cupful?)

* * *

Thoughts on this cover...

Once again, it's hard to tell which one is Dawn and which is Stacey. But I'm now convinced Stacey's the one in the chair. How come only SHE gets a chair? And why is her bikini so tiny? And what's with all the beach balls? Oh well. It's fine. 

* * *

RATING!

On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being a rousing Baby-Sitters Club adventure, and 1 being a book I'd send straight to Good Will, I give California Girls! an 8.3. People learn lessons, in a good way, so yay. Fun is had. I would've raised it a few points if they'd A) Gone to Disneyland, B) Showed us Mallory's blonde hair, and C) Not had anyone baby-sit, for pete's sake. I know, shocking.

* * *

In conclusion, say hello to your...


I blame Claudia.


* * *

For more BSC Super Specials check out:





Super Special #7: Snowbound (My rating: 8.1)














Monday, August 16, 2021

The Corona Chronicles: Chapter 18: They're Trying To Kill Us, Aren't They?

 




So our school district offered summer classes during July and early August. I helped out a few times. One day, during lunch (on a picnic blanket on the pavement under a basket-less hoop) a kiddo called me over and asked, "Ms. Patton? Is the Coronavirus over?"

"No," I told her.

"SEE?!" she cried, giving another kid a LOOK.

"It's still out there," I said. "But a lot of people are getting vaccinated, so we're... yeah...." I trailed off. 

What can I say?

Kids under 12 can't get the vaccine yet, but we're bringing them back to school....

Despite the fact that our schools are already crowded.

Despite the fact that cloth masks may be useless against the Delta variant.

Not long ago, the masks requirement was dropped here in Oregon. Then, last week, the governor mandated masks again. I, for one, am a fan of people wearing masks, but this did create a lot of confusion. No wonder kids thought "Coronavirus is over." No more masks indoors = No more virus, right? 

We've been back in the school buildings in some form or another since April, and the following things are abundantly clear:

*Kids don't know how to/don't like to socially distance. Six feet? Never. Three feet? Unlikely. One foot? Maybe. One millimeter? THERE it is.

*Kids can't keep the darn masks over their noses.

*Kids don't have to wear the masks outdoors. Meanwhile, they lose them.

*Kids still bring toys & fidgets to school and pass them around. Everyone touches everything.

*We still don't have consistent warm water in our sinks, so whatever to handwashing.

*Desks spread apart? That's nice. Because students always stay in their seats HAHAHA.

*Kids still share food, despite this being against the rules since forever.

...

There are certain things I think we'll not see again for a long time, such as...

*Quiet lines in the hallway. (Nope. What's the point? I do know ONE teacher who will protest this, but she's on her own.)

*Assemblies (Sorry, Captain YoYo, I hope your Youtube channel is bringing you an income.)

*Door-to-Door Fundraisers (online all the way... as it should be.)

*Field Trips (though at best, kids got to go on 1-2 a year as it was, THANKS EMBEZZLING PTA MOM, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.)

...

Is Coronavirus over?

It is not.

But judging by the maskless faces around town....

The push to return to normalcy....

The banshee-esque screams of the mask-haters and Covid-deniers and anti-vaxxers...

Sometimes it seems like it is. It must be. It can't STILL be going. It can't STILL be so serious.

We go back in three weeks.

If this is my last update, it's been nice knowing y'all.







Sunday, August 8, 2021

Book Review: Baby-Sitters Club Super Special #2: Baby-Sitters' Summer Vacation

Another Super Special review, so soon? What can I say? Sometimes I get on a roll. Besides, it is summertime where I live, so it's the perfect time to dive into the big book o' baby-sitter summertime fun....


The Baby-Sitters Club Super Special #2, Baby-Sitters’ Summer Vacation takes place between books #25 (Mary Anne and the Search For Tigger) and #26 (Claudia and the Sad Goodbye). By the way, we’re now officially immersed in the BSC’s infinite time loop. It started in book 10, and it may never, ever end. This is Summer #2. There will be many more.

Much has happened since Summer #1 (the one where they went to Disney World). Logan Bruno has moved to Stoneybrook, and he and Mary Anne have become an item. Kristy has started a softball team, and her family recently adopted a little girl. Stacey has moved back to New York City. And perhaps most importantly, Mallory Pike and Jessi Ramsey have joined the BSC.


This summer, the baby-sitters have decided to descend upon Camp Mohawk. Who to blame? Why, Dawn, believe it or not! She owns a VCR and she kept making everyone else watch her favorite movie, The Parent Trap. (Too bad it wasn’t Stacey forcing them to watch Mary Poppins... maybe they’d have taken a trip to London! Eh, don’t worry, we’ll get there eventually.) So everyone's now going to camp, along with a bunch of the kids in Stoneybrook, including Karen Brewer, Charlotte Johanssen, Jackie Rodowsky, David Michael Thomas, Becca Ramsey, and the majority of the Pikes.

Kristy, Claudia, Mary Anne, Dawn, Stacey, and Logan are Counselors In Training, aka CITs. Mallory and Jessi are regular campers, though they are granted the opportunity to be “junior CITs” and work on a special project.


Stacey, who has come all the way from Manhattan to spend two weeks in the woods against her better judgment, figures... as long as she’s doing this, she might as well journal her experience. She asks the other baby-sitters to take their own notes and give them to her so she can make a diary.

Stacey is assigned to a cabin of 6-year-olds, including Karen Brewer. Her counselor is named Barbara and her fellow CIT is Joanne. Other campers there include Nonie, Valerie, and Monique. On the first day, one of the girls has a sore throat and another might have pinkeye. Stacey hates to see people who are sick. Ironically, a few days later, Stacey starts itching, and whatdya know? She's got poison ivy!
 Also impetigo, pinkeye, mosquito bites, and a cold! 


After spending several days in the infirmary, Stacey then gets a giant splinter in her hand. Despite all this, Stacey still manages to have a pretty good time at camp. She becomes pals with a precocious camper (Nonie) and makes the stunning realization that Karen Brewer is loud and hyper. (Yes, and...?)

Mary Anne is put in cabin 7A. Her counselor is Connie and her fellow CIT is named Randi. 7A campers include Stoneybrookites Margo Pike and Nancy Dawes, as well as a girl named Tara (“The Terror”). Next door in 7B, the CITs are Julie and Faye. Mary Anne immediately feels inferior to the other CITs. Trying to sound cool, she mentions that she has a boyfriend across the lake, but everyone thinks she's lying.


Later, Mary Anne writes a mushy note to Logan, hoping Randi will discover it. Randi does, and shows the note to Julie and Faye. Before long, they’ve convinced Mary Anne to sneak around the lake to the boys' side and deliver the note. So one night, Mary Anne stuffs her sleeping bag full of clothes to get past the bedtime inspection, and sets off. 


Mary Anne gets about halfway around the lake before she's caught. Though her daring escapade earns her a little bit of respect, her fellow CITs are still on her case. They convince her to let them pierce her ears. The supplies are gathered (including a giant needle!) but in the end, the other CITs chicken out, and Mary Anne is relieved. 

On the night of the CIT dance on the boys' side of camp, Mary Anne runs into Logan’s arms in front of everyone. Now there’s no doubt that Mary Anne's beloved boyfriend does, in fact, exist.


Kristy faces a problem similar to Mary Anne’s. She’s assigned to cabin 8B, whose campers include Becca Ramsey and a tear-streaked, homesick Charlotte Johannsen. Her counselor is Jo, and her fellow CIT is named Tansy. Next door in 8A, Lauren and Izzie are the CITs. Kristy immediately feels inferior to the other girls. They all have cool sneakers;] she doesn’t. They all accessorize their camp uniforms with hair bows and jewelry; Kristy didn’t bring any of that stuff. The others think Kristy should wear makeup; Kristy disagrees. Despite Kristy’s objections, the other girls do give her a makeover before the CIT dance. 


Kristy has a good time at the dance, but ultimately decides that she’s happier with a mostly makeup-free life.


Claudia is in cabin 9A. Her counselor is Meghan and her fellow CIT is Sally. Her campers are Vanessa Pike, Haley Braddock, Brandy, Leann, Jayme, and Gail. 

Because the camp food is so awful (and because she's a sugar fiend) Claudia buys a ton of junk food at the canteen, which prompts remarks from the vendors/counselors such as “How do you stay so thin?” and “How come your complexion’s so good?” (A missed opportunity for a joke about staying fit by chasing children around Stoneybrook.)

One afternoon, Cabin 9A goes horseback riding, and they return covered in dust and straw. There’s a knock at the cabin door, and it’s BOYS. Claudia goes out to the porch to see what they want, and immediately locks eyes with a cute Japanese guy. Later she learns his name is Will. She crushes on him for the rest of the week. Finally, at the CIT movie night and dance, they get to spend time together.



They get into some deep conversations, hold hands, etc. When it's time to depart after the dance, with tears in their eyes, they say goodbye... but will it be forever?


Dawn is assigned to cabin 11A. Her counselor is Charlene, and her fellow CIT is named Amy. The campers are Heather, Shari, Caryn, Rachel, Freddie, and Donna. Dawn worries about Heather, a quiet girl who becomes somewhat of an outcast (but honestly doesn’t seem to care.) 

During the second week of camp, Charlene is called away because her mother is sick. But Mrs. Means, the camp director, has a list of replacement counselors on call. The next day, 15-year-old Debra shows up. She was at Camp Mohawk one other summer. And what a day to arrive! The girls are just about to leave on their big hike/overnighter. 

At one point during the hike, one of the cairns that’s supposed to guide the way is found to be knocked over. Debra misreads the map, and takes the group off in the wrong direction. They hike for hours. It's now clear that they're lost. Heather speaks up. “I see a clearing. Why don’t we just make camp there? We have to stop soon anyway to eat and sleep. We can’t go tramping through the woods all night.” 

The next day, they set off again, hoping to return to Camp Mohawk, but they go in circles and end up back at the same clearing. Finally, Heather takes the map, studies it, and figures out the correct way back. The next day, they get close to camp and are found by a search party. Everyone has respect for Heather now. But, Dawn notes, she feels a little bad because, since they spent an extra night out there, the 11B kids didn’t get to go on the overnighter themselves. Sorry, Mal and Jessi. No s’mores for you.

Oddly, in just two Super Specials, Dawn will have to practice her survival skills again, only this time on a deserted island. No wonder Dawn eventually wants to move back to California. Between these two incidents and the murderers running rampant in New York City, it’s clear the East Coast has it in for this girl.


Mallory and Jessi are in Cabin 11B, and boy, you can cut the tension in that room with a spork. Their Counselor is Autumn, the CITs are Gwen and Corinne, and the other campers are named Mandi, Maureen, Mary O. and Mary T. The four Ms are white, and at least one is definitely racist. The other girls jeer at and tease Mallory and Jessi. It might be partly because they see Mal & Jessi are already tight, or maybe the other girls are just mean, or maybe they're all racist? Who knows.


At least M&J have each other – and their special project. They’re tasked with helping the kids in 8B put on a performance for Parents’ Day. They write a skit with an anti-racism message, and hope their cabinmates get the point. Hurray, they do! Three of them apologize for being a-holes. The fourth girl does not. Thinks Jessi: I guess some people never learn.


Logan is in cabin 7A (on the boys’ side.) His fellow CIT is Rick, and his campers are Jackie Rodowsky, Buddy Barrett, Matt Braddock, Russell, Curtis, and Thomas, aka “T”. Next door in 7B are CITs Henry and Cliff. I remember reading this book as a kid and thinking Ann M. Martin did such a good job with the names of the female counselors and campers. Then on the boy’s side – Russell, Thomas, Rick, Curtis, Henry, Cliff. In the late 80s, those names belonged solely to dads and grandpas.

Anyway, the mushy note that Mary Anne wrote ends up in Logan’s hands – during a meal in the mess hall. The other guys snatch it away, and it’s soon read by all. Logan is a little embarrassed, but also kind of touched by Mary Anne's note. But he soon gets fed up with the teasing from the other guys, and he starts an epic food fight. 

So those are the main plots! The only other notable plot is about Charlotte Johanssen, who is a big ol' mess for nearly the entire two weeks. Given the option to go home, though, she decides to stay at camp.

Camp Mohawk sounds awesome in some ways, and not so much in others. 

Pros: Lots of activities, including arts and crafts, horseback riding, swimming, water skiing, and sailing. A canteen filled with junk food. What seems like a good mix of scheduled activities and free time.

Cons: Terrible food served in the mess hall. Green and white camp uniforms (hated especially by Claudia.) 

Neutral: The boys and the girls are separated by a lake, and they rarely mingle. Presumably the same activities/food are offered on both sides, though that seems strange. So this camp has two separate stables for the horses? Two boat docks? Two swimming areas, watched over by lifeguards? Two kitchens, with adequate staffing? I have questions, and yet... there seems to be more staff in this book than there was at the camp the baby-sitters attended in the Netflix series, so you know what? It's fine.


The chapter distribution is rather uneven in this book. Stacey, the bookend-er, gets 5 chapters. Kristy and Claudia each get 4. Dawn and Mary Anne have 3. Jessi and Logan have 2 chapters apiece. And poor Mallory, the writer, only gets 1 chapter. 

Overall, this book is a lot of fun. I love a good book about Camp. But Baby-Sitters’ Summer Vacation also feels a little sad.  Stacey has come all the way from Manhattan to hang out with her friends, but none of them (except Jessi and Mallory) share a cabin, and they're mostly all kept apart. Stacey spends half her time in the infirmary. Dawn and her cabinmates get lost. Kristy and Mary Anne get their egos crushed by their fellow CITs. Claudia meets a great guy, but they part with the sad knowledge that they may never see each other again. And Jessi and Mallory don’t seem to get to do much other than help out some 8-year-olds and try to avoid the meanness of their cabinmates.

Plus, a lot of the camp activities are talked about only after they happen. Kristy tells us about enjoying sailing and water skiing, but she never does those things on the page. One of Claudia’s chapters starts AFTER they’ve all been horseback riding. There are some brief mentions of time spent in the arts & crafts center and attempting archery, but I just wish there was more.

* * *

Time to examine the ol' Super Special tropes checklist...

☑Will someone make an unusual friend who is then never heard from again? Yes, Dawn & Heather and Stacey & Nonie. Both pairs become penpals for a short time after camp.

☑Will one of the baby-sitters fall in LUV? (Yes, Claudia + Will.)

☑Will at least one baby-sitter who is supposed to be on vacation/sans children be put in a position where they must care for children anyway? (Sort of. Mallory and Jessi are supposed to just be regular campers, but they ask for more responsibilities. Enter: six 8-year-olds in need of some dance coaching.)

☑Will someone have a near-death experience? (Dawn, sort of. Getting lost in the wilderness doesn't always have a happy ending, so I suppose it could've been worse.)

🗹Will someone act like a major jerk, even though they're normally pretty pleasant? (No, thankfully. Everyone's pretty great.)

🗹Will the airplane seats have two seats, then five seats, then two more? (No airplanes. Just an old school bus taking them all to camp.)

* * *

And now we must critique the cover...


Kristy's torso raises some concerns. Dawn looks like she just walked barefoot across some LEGO. Jessi's hair is sad. But nearly everyone seems to be having a fabulous time!

* * *

RATING!

On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being a rousing Baby-Sitters Club adventure, and 1 being a book I'd send straight to Good Will, I give Baby-Sitters' Summer Vacation an 8.6. I wish the baby-sitters could've spent more time together. I we'd gotten to see more fun camp activities. But the writing is solid, and thank goodness there aren't any Karen chapters.

Friday, July 16, 2021

Book Review: Baby-Sitters Club Super Special #9: Starring The Baby-Sitters Club!

 ARE YOU READY...

 FOR SOME DRAMA?!


Okay, now that I have that out of my system...

Baby-Sitters Club Super Special #9, Starring the Baby-Sitters Club, is a bit of a departure from previous Super Specials. The earlier eight were all about epic vacations or news-worthy semi-disasters (and sometimes both at once!) But by the time #9 rolled around, perhaps the BSC's writers thought it best to keep the baby-sitters in Stoneybrook and keep the local weather in check for once. But what other kind of plot could be worthy of a Super Special? 

Enter: Theatre.

Or, at least, community theater... an amateur production of Peter Pan.

A bit o'history: This book was published in 1992, a golden era for the Boy in Green. The early 90s were all about Peter Pan. Disney released its animated version on VHS in 1990. The Mary Martin stage production from 1960 had been restored and released on VHS around the same time. Cathy Rigby was swinging on wires on Broadway, playing Peter from 1990-1991. Hook, Steven Spielberg's imaginative Peter Pan sequel, had made a splash in theaters in 1991, and was released on VHS in 1992.  

So here we are (were? oh, never mind) in late 1992, and Peter Pan is coming to Stoneybrook! It is to be a "musical extravaganza." Posters go up in the school hallways, and all the baby-sitters are intrigued at varying levels. 

Jessi -- who gets to start this book -- is very interested. With her dance background and stage experience, she's sure she's the #1 one choice to play Peter. Jessi's feeling high on life at the moment, because she's just earned a spot on the school newspaper. She pitches a story about the play, and gets the go-ahead to write the story.

Though it never makes it into the infamous Chapter Twos of BSC books -- alongside Stacey's diabetes, Claudia's junk food addiction, and Kristy's love of turtlenecks -- one fact about Jessi becomes very clear in this book, and will continue to plague the series at an alarming level: Jessi likes to overextend herself. Like... a lot. The girl already does school, baby-sitting, and ballet. Now she's joining the school newspaper and the school play. It's a good thing the baby-sitters live in a time vortex where months and years don't matter, because I'm not sure how a normal mortal could fit all these things in their schedule.

So Jessi begins to imagine herself as the star of the play, and when the baby-sitters talk about the subject, Jessi practically tells them, Yeah, I'm going to be Peter Pan. The others are like... "uhhhh...." But Jessi doesn't seem to notice. (I'll refrain from adding semi-delusional to Jessi's resume, only because that is a very teenage trait. She's acting her age. She's fine. So long as she outgrows it someday....)

Jessi also tells the others about her gig on the newspaper, and at some point asks them to start taking notes about their experiences working on the play so that she can glean the notes for her story. Everyone's on board with that.

We learn that Stacey, Dawn, Logan and Kristy are all planning to audition for the play. Stacey wants a small role, Dawn hopes to be Tiger Lily, Logan aims to play a pirate, and Kristy wants to play Nana the dog. Claudia opts to paint scenery. Mary Anne wants no part of the production, which makes me sad. Mary Anne of the Netflix series would've totally taken part! (I think I prefer that Mary Anne.)

While the girls are discussing the upcoming auditions over lunch in the school cafeteria, Kristy happens to notice that they are being watched -- by none other than Cokie Mason and her crew. Guess what -- Cokie's auditioning for Tiger Lily, too! Should Dawn still try out for the role, and risk Cokie's wrath? Thinks Dawn: I was pretty sure Cokie and Grace were now whispering about us. Probably they were plotting horrible, terrifying deeds. 

Audition day! Half of Stoneybrook shows up. The younger kids audition first. The director, hapless middle school teacher Mr. Cheney, tells the the auditioners that he needs small children to fill the roles of the Indians, Lost Boys, and Michael.

Enter Karen Brewer.

"Excuse me, Sir? What about Tinker Bell?"

The director tries to explain to Karen that a human Tinker Bell won't be necessary -- a flashlight will suffice -- but Karen yells: "But I want to be Tink! I WANT TO WEAR A FAIRY PRINCESS COSTUME!"

What a brat, huh? Certainly she won't get her way, especially not after that outburst???

Hahaha! It's freaking Karen Brewer! She gets what she wants! All of Stoneybrook is resigned to this by now.

Then the rest of the baby-sitters audition. Logan turns out to be a rotten actor. Kristy's actually quite good. Stacey and Dawn both do well. 

When it's Jessi's turn, she re-introduces herself to Mr. Cheney, and tells the reader that she and Mr. Cheney have a previous connection -- he was one of the chaperones on the trip they took in Super Special #3. What she fails to mention -- and you'd think this might be relevant -- is that that was the book where she, an eleven-year-old, organized the entire school talent show. Nope? Not gonna mention that? (Actually, I'm surprised the writers even called back to a previous Super Special at all... it so seldom happens.)

Anyway, Jessi does her audition, and she thinks has performed beautifully, but she isn't asked for a callback. Still, she's not worried about that. Certainly not receiving a callback just means she has already landed the part.

Next up, a chapter about Cokie, mortal enemy of babysitters -- and the horrible realization (by me, the reader) that Cokie is actually... pretty cool. She tells us how she has manipulated the school system to have five classes together with her best friend, Grace. Also that they pass notes to each other regarding the latest episode of General Hospital. This sounds awfully familiar... 

ANYWAY, it's the end of the school day, and everyone's all abuzz because... the roles have been posted! Cokie finds out she's going to be Tiger Lily! But she can't be too excited about that, since it also seems as if the members of the wretched Baby-Sitters Club are basically taking over the play....

The Roles:

Peter Pan... Kristy Thomas

Wendy... Dawn Schafer

Mrs. Darling... Stacey McGill

Mr. Darling... Sam Thomas

Pirate... Logan Bruno

Pirate... Jessi Ramsey

Scenery... Claudia Kishi

Costumes... Mallory Pike

Tinker Bell... Effing Karen

As the chapter ends, Cokie manages to throw verbal threats at both Mallory and Claudia, telling them they'd better make her look good in the play. "If anything goes wrong, I'm going to blame you." Aw, gee whiz, Cokie! Not blame!

At the club meeting, later, the baby-sitters are discussing their roles in the play. Kristy can't believe she's going to be Peter Pan! (Meanwhile, I can't believe she got blindsided like that. I mean, if I were the director, I'd have at least discussed it with her before being like, "I know you wanted a small part, but here -- please carry the entire play.")

Meanwhile, Jessi is not happy that she was cast as a pirate. She's sitting off by herself, making comments under her breath and letting out snorts. But it turns out she's not the only disappointed diva in Stoneybrook. Mallory tells the others that upon finding out that she was playing an Indian, her little sister Claire decided to quit the play. "Claire says she will not be in the play unless she can wear a beautiful costume." Claire: out!

We then learn that Jessi has refused the role of the pirate, and after talking to the director, Mr. Cheney, she has agreed to be an assistant choreographer instead. 

Mal asks tentatively, "Jessi? Did you ask Mr. Cheney why he gave you the part of a pirate?" 

Jessi says yes. Basically it's because she's already had a lot of experience in starring roles. "He said... um, he said I'm too good for the part. Yeah, that's what he said."

Kristy is momentarily offended, but Stacey agrees with Mr. Cheney. "Jessi, it is true you've been on stage a lot in your life and most of us haven't. I think Mr. Cheney's just trying to be fair."

At this point, Jessi emits her third snort of the afternoon, and Kristy has had enough: "Oh, be quiet. You sound like a horse." (Nice try, Kristy, but to Mallory and Jessi, this is a high compliment.)

 In the next chapter, Mary Anne, who had vowed never to go near the stage, ends up becoming part of the production after all. Her official title? "Backstage baby-sitter." Seeing as how she has baby-sat for nearly every Lost Boy and Indian in a five-mile radius, not to mention Jackie Rodowsky, who's playing Michael, she's perfect for the job. Also, Mr. Cheney is clearly already regretting this entire production and questioning his life choices, and could use the help.

Meanwhile, Mallory's an apprentice costume designer (for some reason? I can't remember if it's ever been established that Mallory likes to sew) and it turns out this job is a recipe for embarrassment. The head costume designer, Savannah Minton, wants Mallory to measure people for their costumes, for pete's sake! Like, with measuring tape! On their bodies. And Mallory can't. At least, she can't bring herself to measure the high school boy who's playing Captain Hook. 

By the way, Savannah gets introduced to us via this weird thought by Mallory: 

Savannah (who doesn't go by a nickname, because the only one anyone can ever think of is Vanna, and she absolutely refuses)... 

A) What's wrong with Vanna? Because the only notable Vanna is Vanna White? But she's cool! 

B) WHAT ABOUT "ANNA"? Hello? 

Anyway, Mallory's triplet siblings are making peashooters and aiming them at people, and when Mal goes to stop them, she annoys Mary Anne, who tells her "Mallory, I am the backstage baby-sitter. Please remember that." Well, la tee da, Mary Anne.

Dawn's chapter is next, and watch out, Mr. Cheney! The girl you cast as Wendy is COMING for you! Or, rather, the script. Dawn thinks the whole Peter Pan story is sexist. Peter should be taught to sew his own shadow on his body. That practical life skill is one all genders should be taught! So Dawn starts changing the lines. This ticks off the director and throws Kristy, as Peter, for a loop.

Meanwhile, Logan and the rest of the pirates don't have much to do, so they play-sword fight. They're getting on Mr. Cheney's nerves (actually, everyone is -- Dawn with her script-challenging, Kristy with her inability to memorize lines, and Cokie with her snide remarks), but when Logan takes things a little too far (yelling about a mutiny), Mr. Cheney kicks him out of the play. 

Well, for like ten seconds. Logan apologizes at the end of the rehearsal, and is reinstated -- on probation.

On page 118, Kristy casually mentions: By the way, in case you're wondering, the BSC had informed its clients that club meetings were going to be suspended during the rehearsals for Peter Pan, but that Claudia could take messages and arrange jobs (with over-the-phone help from Mary Anne) any time she was at home. Oh yeah, I nearly forgot they still had a business to run. Actually, since half their clients are in the play, and are being watched for free by Mary Anne, I dare a single parent to complain.

Kristy overhears Cokie asking Mr. Cheney for her own private dressing room. Kristy is furious at Cokie's nerve, and decides to play a prank on Cokie. She tells Cokie, "I thought of the perfect dressing room for you." Then Kristy leads Cokie to a mop closet. Cokie fumes, and Kristy prances away laughing. Then (writes Kristy) that night, I telephoned every single one of my friends, and told them what I'd done. They were proud of me. 

BUT THEN! Cokie actually asks the janitor for permission to use the closet as a dressing room, taping a star to the door! When Kristy finds out, instead of feeling like a fool (like she should), she tells us: I vowed revenge on Cokie Mason.

Again, this is teenage behavior, but really, Kristy? Really?

Jackie Rodowsky, who plays Michael, takes the next chapter. We learn that nobody's going to be wearing flying harnesses in this play, which is a little disappointing to Jackie, but is probably for the best, considering his history of causing mayhem. Actually, he tries to cause that anyway. If he can't have "flying ropes," maybe jumping off the scenery will suffice? He tries to do a cannonball off a dresser, but is caught by the director and admonished. Thinks Jackie: I decided I would practice jumping off my own dresser at home. 

Jackie's next disappointment involves his costume -- it's nothing but a white night shirt, and it reminds him of a ladies' nightgown. Then that is forgotten when he sees the most horrible sight of all: THE CROCODILE COSTUME. Turns out Jackie is terrified of this costume, which makes me wonder if the production blew half its budget on renting this thing, if it looks that realistic. 

In Jessi's next chapter, we learn that Sam Thomas has been annoying Stacey by constantly referring to her as "Mrs. Darling." Also, Jessi tells us how hard she's been working on this play. First, people (namely Mallory) keep asking her for advice. Second, she does the whole teaching-kids-their-choreography thing. And that makes her practically the play's assistant producer, does it not? She secretly wonders... if Kristy can't master her lines, perhaps Mr. Cheney will give Jessi the role of Peter after all! When Mr. Cheney calls everyone together for an announcement, Jessi secretly hopes to get this good news, but instead Mr. Cheney just tells the kids the programs are ready for proofing. Jessi takes a look. Her credit reads: Jessica Ramsey: Assistant choreographer. Jessi is dismayed; she feels she is so much more! So she crosses her name off the program altogether. Mr. Cheney asks her why she did it. But Jessi can't seem to verbalize the fact that her ego is out of control.

Opening night is drawing near, and things are still chaotic. Stacey is super annoyed by Sam constantly referring to her as "dearest" or "Mrs. Darling," but she kind of just puts up with it and doesn't say anything. Then, during a dress rehearsal, Stacey is distracted by Cokie Mason, sitting in the front row of the audience, apparently heckling her. Kristy forgets her lines. Jackie freaks out over the crocodile. Sam calls Stacey "Mrs. Darling" again, and this time she loses it and tells him to "Cut it out." Then she storms off. 

Sam responds to this in the next chapter by writing: "Women. Who needs them? Who can understand them? Unfortunately, I need them. But I don't think I'll ever understand them. Sometimes my own grandmother gets fed up with me. And Kristy is always flying off the handle whenever I say the littlest thing to her, especially if it concerns her appearance. And when I make a goof call during one of her BSC meetings... well, now she usually just hangs up on me." Haha, females, amirite? But then we get a pretty thoughtful chapter in which Sam explains why he's been acting the way he has. He's been getting some grief from his friends for dating an eighth-grader (he's in tenth) so he's been trying to prove to them how much "fun" he and Stacey have when they're together. Sam and Stacey eventually talk it out, salvaging their relationship -- and sanity --  for the time being.

Four days till opening night! Karen Brewer now wants the tinkling sounds of a triangle to accompany her fairy self as she runs around on stage. Meanwhile, Mary Anne keeps butting heads with Mallory. Mallory continues to try to solve childrens' problems during rehearsals, but that's Mary Anne's "job." In reality, Mallory's really just getting in Mary Anne's space, and it's annoying to Mary Anne. Eventually, Mallory backs off and begins to focus on her actual job, helping keep all the costumes straight.

Dress rehearsal time! The kids from Stoneybrook Elementary are coming to watch this show, and Jackie Rodowsky is mortified at the thought that they'll all see him in a night shirt. He's also still afraid of the crocodile. During the performance, he decides to throw a styrofoam rock at the croc and yell "Cowabunga!" and "Crocabunga!" which both get LOLs from the kids in the audience. Backstage, after the scene, he gets admonished and threatened with banishment from the play. (The way things are going, I really hope Mr. Cheney has a whole line of understudies queued up and ready to go.)

We finally get another Claudia chapter, and we learn that she is proud of the scenery she designed for the show. Now, with only hours before opening night, she eats an Almond Joy and talks to her deceased grandmother, Mimi. She concludes her speech with, "Well, wish me luck, Mimi. If you're up there floating around somewhere, peek down at the play tonight and look at the sets. I'll be in the audience, so look down at me too. I love you." D'aw.

Stacey ends up coming over to Claudia's house then, and they hang out, watching an old movie. In the movie, the characters are putting on a play. Some scenery crashes down on one of the actresses. This causes Claudia to have all-new worries about her scenery killing people. Then the phone rings in Claudia's room and it's Cokie. She's worried about the scenery in one of her scenes. After hanging up, Claudia says to Stacey: "This is eerie. Here we are worrying about the sets killing someone, and then Cokie calls with a question about the sets. Can you imagine if the backdrop did kill her? Everyone would think I had done it on purpose to get rid of her." 

"No one would blame you," Stacey replied, smiling.

This gets me thinking. Claudia is an artist, but she's no engineer. That scenery might be painted nicely, but who built it? Who made sure it was up to code? Perhaps we'll have a deadly opening night after all.

Jessi is thisclose to not even wanting to attend opening night. But she decides to go to the play after all, and wouldn't you know it? Pete Black, who plays Nana and the Crocodile, has fallen off his bike and broken his nose! So Mr. Cheney asks Jessi to fill the roles. The horror! The degradation of playing animals! But Jessi finally gives in, and there's a perk -- now that she's in the croc costume, Jackie Rodowsky isn't scared of it anymore!

Dear Pete Black, sorry about your ruined face, but trust -- it was all for the best.

Opening night jitters abound as Kristy arrives at the auditorium. She runs into Cokie and Grace, who try to psych her out and make her think she'll forget her lines. And she actually does forget one -- her very first one. But luckily Jessi is there in the wings to whisper it to Kristy, and from then on, Kristy does great. But then she does this weird thing where she sings parts of Cokie's songs right along with Cokie, just to mess with her. Um,  Kristy? Is this feud you guys have SO important that you're going to risk ruining the play over it? Okay then.

Things go well for Dawn as she breezes through the play as Wendy. Her stepdad surprises her afterward by handing her a video tape -- he's recorded the show, so she can send the tape to her dad in California. 

After the play is all over, Jessi reflects on the whole thing. Says she: After all my griping, after my temper tantrums and bad moods, you know what I discovered? That I really did want to be in the play. I should have taken up Mr. Cheney's offer to be a pirate from the start. Plus, I guess it's true. I'm a great dancer, but maybe I am not such a hot singer or actress. Yet. Oh, well. Live and learn. In the end, I made up with all my friends, and had a terrific time playing Nana and the croc. I'm only sorry Pete Black had to break his nose in order for me to learn those lessons.

Members of the cast and crew give Jessi some final notes for her story in the school newspaper. 

Cokie's reads: 

Kristy, I'm going to get you. Beware. Revenge is sweet. 

In a previous book, Cokie was obsessed with Mary Anne. Now it's Kristy. Well, Kristy may or may not reciprocate, but Cokie? I see you, girl.

So ends the book. Now... it's time to take a look at our Super Special Checklist!

🗹Will someone make an unusual friend who is then never heard from again? (Alas, no.)

🗹Will one of the baby-sitters fall in LUV? (No luv.)

☑Will at least one baby-sitter who is supposed to be on vacation/sans children be put in a position where they must care for children anyway? (Yes! Mary Anne initially swears off the play, but is then asked to be a backstage baby-sitter.)

☑Will someone have a near-death experience? (I'm going to say that Pete Black falling on his face is a lot more serious than they let on. Then again, he's only a side character so perhaps it doesn't count.)

☑Will someone act like a major jerk, even though they're normally pretty pleasant? (Yes, Jessi... I mean, she even admits it. We also get a little testiness from Mary Anne.)

🗹Will the airplane seats have two seats, then five seats, then two more? (No airplanes, here. Maybe next time?)

Let's analyze the cover!

This one's pretty good. You can tell who everyone is supposed to be. 

RATING!

On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being a rousing Baby-Sitters Club adventure, and 1 being a book I'd send straight to Good Will, I give Starring The Baby-Sitters Club! a 3.98. I remember really enjoying it as a preteen, because anything to do with school plays was golden, but reading it now, it's not AS enjoyable. So many characters have issues, fears, or problems, and the book feels... stressful. Nobody seems very happy for most of it. In the end, though, it all comes together, and, like Peter Pan itself, has a happy ending.

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