30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 30 - LEGO FUTURON Monorail Transport

Day 30:

LEGO FUTURON Monorail Transport

(LEGO Catalog, 1991)

Oh, glorious monorail!

* * *

I hope you enjoyed 2016's 30 Days Of Retro Toys! In case you missed it, here's the list from 2015. 

And if you like old stuff, you may also enjoy THESE blog posts:

Goofy Retro Baby Ads - Part 1

Goofy Retro Baby Ads - Part 2

Better Homes & WTFery (1970s Edition) Part 1

Better Homes & WTFery (1970s Edition) Part 2

Oh yes, and be sure to check out my Etsy Shop for fun vintage finds!

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 29 - Banana Seat Bicycles

Day 29:
Banana Seat Bicycles

(Sears catalog, 1974)

Wait, no handlebar streamers? 

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 28 - Mattel Preschool Products

Day 28:
Mattel Preschool Products

(Sesame Street magazine, 1987)

Yeah, screw crayons!

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 27 - High School Jazzie

Day 27:

High School Jazzie

(Barbie magazine, 1989)

Whatever happened to Jazzie? It's like she just disappeared. 

Hmmm, this might just call for a bit o' fanfic....

In this epic tale, four friends (Stacie, Jazzie, Chelsie and Dude) drop out of high school to travel the world. They won't even have to pack suitcases because their clothes can mix 'n' match into five different outfits. They travel cheaply because Jazzie's cousin, Barbie, is a part-time flight attendant and knows people in the industry. Their adventures will take them to many exotic places. However, their good times will come to a sad end when Stacie "loses" her all-important fanny pack (containing the friends' travelers cheques, passports, and cash) somewhere in Copenhagen. Months later, a man matching Dude's description will be found wandering near Monterosso Beach wearing stone-washed denim shorts and a singular orange flipflop.

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 26 - Capsela

Day 26:

Capsela

(321 Contact Magazine, 1991)

I recall one of my elementary school teachers having some of these.

I never did figure out how they worked.

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 25 - Koppers Polystyrene Playland

Day 25:

Koppers Polystyrene Playland

(Time magazine, 1953)

Good old polystyrene. Soft, colorful, terrible for the environment... and highly flammable!

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 24 - Power Wheels Hot Shot

Day 24:

Power Wheels Hot Shot

(Barbie magazine, 1989)

Ride-on cars are too expensive, our parents said.

Give it to us as a Birthday AND Christmas present combined, we begged.

They only go about one mile an hour.

Still want one.

The batteries don't last.

Still want one.

You'll look like a spoiled rich kid.

That would be fantastic.

They're smaller than you think. They're sized for toddlers.

WHY ARE ALL THE GOOD TOYS WASTED ON BABIES?

Here, you can have this instead.

K cool thanks.

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 23 - Game Boy's The Little Mermaid

Day 23: 

Game Boy's The Little Mermaid

(Disney Adventures magazine, 1991)

Under the sea

Under the sea

Darling it's keener

Down where it's greener

Take it from me

I know you thought Ursula had died

But oh no, she's alive.... We lied!

Your love's in trouble

Time to "outbubble"*

Under the sea

*the eels

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 22 - Penny The Poodle

Day 22:

Penny The Poodle

(Sears Catalog, 1964)

I spent my tween years being super into poodles. My paternal grandparents and my neighbor both had poodles, but my parents wouldn't let me have any dog, period. 

So whenever we got to choose our own topic for a school project, I'd find a way to relate it to poodles. I would ask for poodle merchandise for my birthday/Christmas. I still have several of my old poodle knick-knacks and stuffed animals, and I look on them with fondness. And yes, I would still like to have a poodle someday.

But even I would have thought a 15-inch yapping tug-along toy was a bit much.

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 21 - Giant Little Tikes Toys

Day 21:

Giant Little Tikes Toys

(Family Circle, 1982)

Of course I had to Google Tom Murdough, because with a name like Murdough, you're probably pretty easy to find. Too true! Turns out the guy eventually left Little Tikes and formed Step2, which also made big plastic toys. He retired from Step2 around 2007 and recently went back into the toy business with a company called Simplay3.

Fun.

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 20 - TeenTime Skipper & Courtney

Day 20:

TeenTime Skipper & Courtney

(Barbie magazine, 1989)

Crimped hair for Skipper -- the epitome of cool. Courtney's hair, not so much. As a kid I had a Cool Tops Courtney, whose hair was also poofy, and that hair could not tamed. Think Mia from The Princess Diaries. Yeah, big hair was cool in the 80s, but poor Courtney's hair was savagely massive.

Man, seeing all these Barbie ads is making me want to dig out my old collection and, you know, maybe buy a couple more, and... danger! Danger!

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 19 - Costumes For Parties and Playtime

Day 19:

Costumes For Parties and Playtime

(Sears Catalog, 1964)

Girls, you can be:

*Barbie

*June Bride 

*Drum majorette (well, that one's kind of cool)

*Visiting Nurse (so's that one)

or *Roy Rogers' 3rd Wife

Boys, you can be: 

*Superman

*Marine-Sergeant

*Roy Rogers

*Highway Trooper

or *Ben Casey

I guess there was nothing stopping a parent for ordering whichever costume their kid wanted, girl or boy. But did they? Did they?

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 18 - Early 80's Mattel Toys

Day 18: 

Early 80's Mattel Toys

(Family Circle, 1982)

In my 1980s childhood, "each sold separately" was as familiar a phrase as "batteries not included," "part of a complete breakfast," and "your parents put it together." But why was the disclaimer even necessary? I like to imagine that some jerk once walked into a toy store and was like, "What do you mean I have to buy each See 'n Say individually? In the ad they're all touching! Clearly they're one giant toy! Sell that 5-headed beast to me NOW!" When he was informed that he had to purchase each See 'n Say separately, he flipped out and started throwing Jack-in-the-Music-Boxes at employees. It was a dark day.

^Oh hey look, it's the Rail Runner train.

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 17 - LauriLand

Day 17:

LauriLand

(Sesame Street Magazine, 1987)

Does anyone remember this?

Anyone?

Anyone?

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 16 - Mattel Tippee-Toes

Day 16:

Mattel Tippee-Toes

(Life magazine, 1968)

As we can clearly see from the first two panels, Tippee-Toes is able to both ride a pony and a bicycle on her own (at presumably lightning-fast speeds, no less!) So why, as panel three's caption says, does she need "her own little girl"? It doesn't seem like Tippee needs anyone to take care of her! So what does she want the Little Girl for?

Affection, I guess. And someone to fetch her apples.

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 15 - Sky Rail

Day 15:

Sky Rail

(Sears Catalog, 1964)

Behold the crappy toy race car track... of the fyuchah!

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 14 - Dancing Dolls

Day 14:
Dancing Dolls

(Sears Catalog, 1964)

"Oh Betsy!"

"Oh Friedrich!"

♡❤♡❤♡

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 13 - Mighty Morphin Alien Rangers

Day 13:

Mighty Morphin Alien Rangers

(FOX Totally Kids magazine, 1996)

Oookay so the Power Rangers are either "in trouble" or "recharge"-ing, which I assume means getting pedicures and facials at an all-inclusive island resort. You might want to get your story straight, ad. In the meantime, let us enjoy these other mighty morphin ____ rangers, who resemble the Power Rangers in no way whatsoever.

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 12 - Speak & Math

Day 12: 

Speak & Math

(Sesame Street magazine, 1987)

My 7-year-old self is trying to decide who the coolest kid in this picture is.

Sideways hat girl? Possibly.

Denim jacket boy? Potentially.

Plaid skirt girl? Haha, no.

Kid with suspenders who's seated backwards in his chair? WE HAVE A WINNER!

30 Days Of Retro Toys 2016 - Day 11 - Glamorous Barbie Furniture

Day 11:

Glamorous Barbie Furniture

(Sears catalog, 1964)

Midge would love them, too. In fact, after discovering a red hair on her pillow a few weeks ago, Barbie has begun to suspect Midge has somehow obtained a spare key to the dream house and is secretly squatting there by day.