My Top 14: Entertainers Who Are 80+

When I heard the news about Shirley Temple Black passing away recently, I began to think about other celebrities who are, well, um, you know... old. And because I love lists, I decided to make a list of entertainers/celebrities who are over 80, who are still with us. (So, obviously, not Shirley Temple Black. R.I.P.)

I started making this list on February 11th, 2014, and on February 12th, one of the people on it died.*

Yeeaahh.

DISCLAIMERS: If any of the following people die within the next few days or weeks, I didn't have anything to do with it. It was just an unlucky coincidence.

And about the rankings -- the numbers below are no reflection on how "important" I think the person is, or how good an entertainer they are, or anything beyond this: They mean something to me. So don't hurt me. Let's do this.

Note: Last updated 10/30/25.

MY TOP 14: ENTERTAINERS WHO ARE 80+

14.
Maureen O'Hara
Actress
b. 1920
(October, 2015: Escaped from the trappings of this mortal coil at age 95) 

One of my favorite movies as a kid was The Parent Trap, in which Maureen played the mom. She was so beautiful. Others may remember her from Miracle On 34th Street, McLintock!, or How Green Was My Valley. Maureen disappeared from the acting scene for nearly twenty years, but made a minor comeback in the 90s, including a starring role in the much-acclaimed TV-movie The Christmas Box, in which she plays an old lady who helps a young dad figure out what's important in life. 

13.
Betty White
Actress
b. 1922

(December, 2021: Had the last laugh at age 99)



Known for her many TV roles, Betty White has been stealing scenes and splitting sides since the 40's. Still going strong as of this writing, Betty recently starred on the TV series Hot In Cleveland, but is probably best known for playing Rose on Golden Girls. But I hardly ever watched Golden Girls. I know, I know... but I was just a kid when it was on. Still, I've seen her in other things over the years, including her hilarious turn on Community in 2010. Also, she's an advocate for animals, so I gotta love her for that!

12.
Debbie Reynolds
Actress
b. 1932
(December, 2016: Sang her swan song at age 84)

From Singin' In The Rain (1952) to In & Out (1997) and beyond, Debbie has been a force of high-spirited entertainment for more than 60 years. She voiced Charlotte in the 1970s cartoon classic Charlotte's Web, which I grew up on (of course, not having any idea at the time that she was famous.) Reading up on her years later, I learned she was married to Eddie Fisher (they had daugher Carrie, aka Princess Leia, in 1956) but that he left her for Elizabeth Taylor, citing true love (ha!). Well, who cares about them, you're the only one making this list, Debbie! (I know you care.)

11.
James Hong
Actor
b. 1929



James Hong may be the go-to guy any time any movie or TV show needs an older Asian dude, but it's for a good reason -- he's super good at what he does. James came to my attention appearing on many of my favorite TV shows over the years, including The Pretender, Lois & Clark, The Adventures Of Brisco County Jr., Friends... and only about a hundred others since 1955! He's even spry enough to still attend fan conventions -- I saw him last year at Wizard World in Portland. Not just a "hey, it's that guy!" anymore, James Hong is now a (somewhat underrated) Hollywood legend.


10.
Nancy Olson
Actress
b. 1928



When I was a kid, if you appeared in one kids' movie, you were just all right. But if you appeared in two, you were officially awesome. And Nancy Olson was in both Pollyanna and The Absent-Minded Professor, so, of course, I thought she was the cat's pajamas. One of the last surviving actresses from Pollyanna, Nancy earns a place on my list for being an icon from my childhood. (Which is not to say I don't still watch Pollyanna often, because I totally do.)


9.
John Williams
Composer
b. 1932

Superman, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Hook.

Yes, Hook.

John Williams is one of the most well-known film composers in the world, and even though some people will argue that he tends to re-use his own music, I challenge you to find a prolific composer who doesn't. Besides, even though I may slightly prefer the work of James Newton Howard and Alan Silvestri overall, I can't deny that John Williams' work is the most recognizable of any composer currently working today. (Plus, neither of them is over 80, so...)


8. James Tolkan
Actor
b. 1931



So, first of all: Mr. Strickland. I loved Back to the Future growing up, and heck, I still love it, and you can't help but love Mr. Strickland. Appearing in all three films in the franchise (in the third, as Mr. Strickland's ancestor, Marshal Strickland), James Tolkan/Mr. Strickland reminded us that we, no matter what we do, are slackers.

A dozen years later, James showed up on The Pretender, which had become one of my favorite shows. The double-length episode he appeared in would, coincidentally, become one of my favorite episodes. And so Mr. Strickland, uh, I mean James Tolkan, goes down in my book as being immensely cool.


7.
Dick Van Patten
Actor
b. 1928
(June, 2015: Decided 86 was enough)



I never watched Eight Is Enough (on which Dick Van Patten played the dad), but growing up, I knew of him from his small role in Freaky Friday and from his guest appearence on Lois & Clark in 1994. A few years ago, when I found out he'd written a book (Eighty Is Not Enough) I checked it out and really enjoyed it. The man has led a fascinating life, and he seems genuine and sweet.


6.
Sean Connery
Actor
b. 1930

(October, 2020: Broke away from the bonds of mortality at age 90) 



Sean Connery may be retired now, but his past speaks for itself: James Bond. Indiana Jones's dad. Surprise cameos in Kevin Costner movies that send me through the roof. And that accent! It's beautiful. He's awesome. Long live Sean Connery.


5.
 James Earl Jones
Actor
b. 1931 (September, 2024: Completed his circle of life at age 93)



James Earl Jones and Sean Connery could have a badassery contest, and I really don't know who'd win. But let's talk about James. The man's career has spanned television, film, stage, and, of course, voiceover work (he's both Darth Vader and Mufasa (Darthfasa!)) Other JEJ credits include The Sandlot, Field Of Dreams, and at least five episodes of Mathnet. And if you don't know what Mathnet is, just... go.


4.
  Angela Lansbury
Actress
b. 1925

(October 2022: Took her final ride through the sky at age 96)



All right, so I love Beauty and the Beast, and Angela having played Mrs. Potts, well, she automatically gets a spot on this list. But I was well aware of Angela Lansbury growing up, sitting in on the old folks' viewings of Murder, She Wrote and catching her in Bedknobs and Broomsticks. I, personally, would love to sit down and chat with Angela Lansbury over a spot of tea.


3.
Dick Van Dyke
Actor
b. 1925

Dick Van Dyke first came to my attention playing Bert in Mary Poppins. Some years later, my parents & I watched him on his long-running TV series Diagnosis Murder. (They probably remembered  him from The Dick Van Dyke Show (1961-66)). With his long career of being funny and charming, I can't help but hope that my favorite chimney sweep/sidewalk-chalk artist/kite seller/mystery-solving doctor never goes away.


2.
Alan Young
Actor
b. 1919
(May, 2016: Went to that big money bin in the sky at age 96)



Mr. Ed was before my time, but DuckTales (in which Alan voiced Scrooge McDuck) came at exactly the right time for me to appreciate Mr. Young's talent. I also grew up watching Mickey's Christmas Carol and have seen The Time Machine several times. A few years ago, I found out he'd written a memoir, Mr. Ed and Me (later updated to Mr. Ed and Me and More), which I read, and which I loved. Like Dick Van Patten, Alan's memoir is interesting and funny and just a great read. He's written another book about show business, too, which I'm about to read. And perhaps the coolest thing of all? He voiced Scrooge McDuck in last year's video game DuckTales: Remastered! (Which I totally bought, you know I did.) And you know that adorable Scottish accent? He's still got it.

1.
  Beverly Cleary
Author
b. 1916

(March, 2021: Closed her final chapter at age 104)



Oh my freaking goodness, if this woman ever dies, I'm going to cry my eyes out. (ETA: WAHHH.) Even though she hasn't written anything in years, her past work is more than enough to put her at #1.

Reasons I Love Beverly Cleary

1. Ramona Quimby
First appearing as a minor (but hilariously naughty) character in the Henry Huggins books, Ramona soon branched out into a series of her own, and became one of the most relatable, sympathetic heroines in kid literature. She had fears -- of the usual things like dogs and the dark, but also of deeper things, like her parents' happiness and whether or not anyone loved her. She struggled to understand the adults in her life and often found things confusing and unfair. She was every kid, put into typewritten form.

2. Leigh Botts
Beverly Cleary won the Newbery Award for Dear Mr. Henshaw in the 80's, and for good reason -- it is excellent. So is its lesser-known sequel, Strider. Cleary captures the trials and angst of a boy who, over the course of the two books, goes from being a naive little kid, writing to his favorite author, to navigating high school and the world of girls.

3. A Girl From Yamhill and My Own Two Feet
Beverly Cleary's two memoirs are so vibrant, so compelling, so wonderful, that I've read them both multiple times. She was born in rural Oregon at the tail end of World War I. Later, her family moved to the suburbs, where they managed to make ends meet during the depression. In the second book, Beverly is off to college, then taking her first job, and meeting her future husband. Never dull, full of lively descriptions, and teeming with interesting glimpses into the lives of those in the early 20th century, these two memoirs show us that Mrs. Cleary wasn't just a children's book writer. She was a writer.

* * * * * * *

So that's my Top 14. You're probably thinking, hey, what about ---? Well, here's a list of some other people who are also 80+ and cool:

Maya Angelou (1928-2014)
Richard Sherman (1928-2024)
Fyvush Finkel (1922-2016)
Roy Dotrice (1923-2017)
 Ivy Bethune (1918-2019)
Al Molinaro (1919-2015)
Carol Channing (1921-2019)
Cloris Leachman (1926-2021)
Eva Marie Saint (1924-)
Lauren Bacall (1924-2014)
Ruby Dee (1922-2014)
June Lockhart (1925-2025)
Richard Erdman (1925-2019)
Katherine Helmond (1929-2019)
June Foray (1917-2017)
Ellen Albertini Dow (1913-2015)
Barbara Hale (1922-2017)
Robert Duvall (1931-)
William Goldman (1931-2018)
  James Garner (1928-2014)
Kirk Douglas (1916-)
Noel Neill (1920-2016)
Ed Asner (1929-2021)
Jerry Hardin (1929-)
Glynis Johns (1923-2024)
Florence Henderson (1934-2016)
Christopher Plummer (1929-)

Marsha Hunt (1917-2022)

Jean Marsh, Maggie Smith & Judi Dench were all 79 when I made this list. (As of 2025, only Judi Dench is left.)

*I started this list on February 11th, 2014, and before I could publish it, my original #13, Sid Caesar, died. :(

Portland Comic Con!!

The weekend before last, I decided to check out the first-ever Portland Comic (Wizard) Con. For years Portland has had comic book shows, but those are humble little affairs where they may get a handful of comic book artists, and maybe a D-List actor if it's a good year. Wizard Con was something entirely else. It was a gathering of all good things related to... well, pretty much everything remotely geek. Video games, sci-fi, fantasy, anime, television, movies, superheroes, retro cartoons, action figures, I don't even know. And it was HUGE. Thousands upon thousands of Portlanders crammed into the Convention Center. I don't know how.

But if we're being completely honest, my friend Jenn and I had but one purpose for showing up. And that was this:

Dean Cain, who we may or may not have (read: may have) been crushing on since our early teens.

Now, I wouldn't have minded meeting Drusilla, er, Juliet Landau, but she had to cancel a few weeks beforehand. And Bruce Campbell is awesome, buuut I've met him before -- and his line was insane. James Marsters -- sure, he's cool. But Wizard Con is very much a for-profit enterprise. If you want to get up close to any of the celebs, you have to pay for an autograph ($40 and up per celeb), a Polaroid photo (about the same), or a professional photo ($50 and up). That's even to just go up and talk to them!

Thanks to Jenn, who wanted both an autograph and a photo, we got to talk to Dean Cain!

 AND we got to get a photo with him in which he put his arms around us! ::SIGH::

 And then he did a Q&A panel, in which I asked a question, and he answered it, and he totally looked right at me like omg.

FANGIRL MOMENT!!!!1

Suffice it to say, we had an EXCELLENT time, and were so happy and excited. The following weekend, we had a Lois & Clark marathon and squee-ed some more. So, you know, good times.

Of course, since the Portland Wizard Con was exactly one week before the Emerald City Comic Con, and there was no way I could do two cons in a row like that, I missed out on my chance to meet Prince Humperdinck, Miss Havisham, Christopher Lloyd and Patrick StewarON THE OTHER HAND MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE GONE.... okay, now I'm depressed. 

Okay, all better now. :-D

My Top 14: Things I Loved When I Was 14

Ah, fourteen... that magical age of braces, bad hair, social ineptitude, and general awkwardness. 

Okay, yeah, maybe that wasn't everybody's experience, but I sometimes think of that year as being the beginning of a personal downward spiral, one I wouldn't emerge from until... well... I'm still not sure I've totally emerged, to be honest. It was a gross time and I don't tend to look back on fourteen (or fifteen, or sixteen) fondly.

But when I decided to challenge myself to think of fourteen things I actually enjoyed back then, I was surprised to find it wasn't a difficult task. I may have been a blundering ball of hormones, but I did have interests, some of which I still have today. (And some of which are almost too embarrassing to print!)

That said, I'm betting I've accidentally left off at least one, so I reserve the right to make an addendum.

But as it stands now, here's
My Top 14: Things I Loved When I Was 14

14. Full House Reruns

I guess I should start by explaining when I was fourteen. For those of you who don't know my age -- well, you get to do some math -- I was fourteen between September 4, 1994 and September 3, 1995. And it was in that first September that Full House began its eighth and final season. And it was bad. Like, bad. The writers had apparently used up all their ideas, continuity went out the window, and the episodes were... eh, halfway decent at best.

But that didn't mean I had to stop being a fan of the show. One of our local channels would air episodes in the late afternoon and/or early evening. I can't exactly remember when they aired that year, but I'm fairly certain there were at least two episodes a day, five days a week. That meant they could cycle through the whole series a couple of times a year. I loved it when they'd play the old, old episodes, where Michelle was a baby, Stephanie had those wild curls, and DJ wore big sweatshirts with skirts and called it good.


13. The Nickel Arcade

One place my dad would often take my brother and me was Wunderland, a local arcade where about half the games were free and the other half cost a nickel. The free games were mostly old-school ones like Frogger, Toobin', and Marble Madness. The nickel ones could earn you tickets, which could earn you prizes. There was this one game, with plastic cylinders (seen to the left) that you had to sweep into a pocket with an electric arm to score points for tickets. I developed a knack for it and was able to get some really good prizes. I think they've changed the mechanics of the machine, now, because during a recent trip to the arcade, I found it's much harder to sweep the cylinders into the pocket than it used to be. And I don't think it's because I've forgotten how. Really, I think they've made it harder. Darn carnies!

12. The Mom & Pop Video Store

A mile or two from our house there was a mom and pop video store that my parents would take me and my brother to fairly regularly. Not every weekend, but often enough. And the thing I remember most about it is browsing... for what seemed like hours. Walking to and fro among rows and rows and shelves galore of cardboard VHS boxes, their bright covers beckoning. If one caught my eye, I'd read the back. I'd figure out which actors were in what movies, and try to find other things they were in. After however long of browsing, I'd usually end up taking home something I knew I'd like... ie, something I'd rented before. But it's funny because I have this heightened familiarity with most of the movies that were released between 1992-1995 because of how often I looked at those covers. How many of them have I gone back and watched? Alas, very few. Very few indeed.

11. Bowling & The Used Book Store

I have to lump these two together because visiting them always happened together. There was -- okay, still is -- a bowling alley not too far from my house. As a young teen, I loved to bowl... I thought it was great fun. Now, not so much. (I won't even mention my average.) So my dad would take me and my brother to the bowling alley, we'd play a couple of games, and then afterward he'd take us to the used book store around the corner. This book store was amazing. There was a cat who roamed the place. The shelves were floor-to-ceiling, and they were everywhere. There were even two places in the store where you could actually wind yourself into a dead end (surrounded by books!) I would say I miss it, but since I think it's still around, I ought to just stop being lazy and drive over there sometime.

10. Writing

At fourteen, I had one of those "I want to be a writer" epiphanies that have struck, oh, five or six times throughout my life. (You'd think a person could just have one.) I was reading Highlights one day, when I discovered that they paid $100 for published stories. I COULD BE RICH! I JUST HAD TO WRITE A STORY! I became convinced that this would be the most lucrative, fun career of all time. A few months later, I actually won an essay contest and got an $100 savings bond, fueling my passion, but Highlights politely rejected the one story I sent at the time. Annnd then I pretty much kept everything else hidden for the next four years, until fanfic came along. But that's another age altogether....

9. Babysitting

There are some teenagers who never take to babysitting, and I get that. And I must admit that in my later teens I began to see babysitting as a drag that paid too little. (My mother, having earned a whopping 35 cents an hour back in the 60's for her babysitting jobs, balked at the $3 an hour I'd earn and say I was getting paid too much. IN THE 90's!) But when I first began babysitting, I loved it. I was right down on the floor playing with the kids... I had about as much energy as they did... and when it was time to go home, the parents would hand me a wad of cash... for playing. Not only that, but I was living out all the fantasies I'd saved up from years and years of reading Baby-Sitters Club books.

This is not to say I don't still enjoy babysitting once in a while -- and a lot of it depends on who I'm taking care of -- but the sheer thrill that it had as a young teen is, I'm afraid, long gone.

8. Barbies

Okay, so this is the embarrassing confession I alluded to earlier. I still played with Barbies at 14. When I was 10 my dad built me a Barbie house with six rooms and an attic. And I was still playing with them in high school. Mostly I liked making up soap-opera-esque stories for them, or posing them in chairs like a photographer might. I think playing with them helped develop my love of storytelling. So laugh if you want, but Barbies were the best, and I won't tell you how old I was when I finally boxed them up. Nope. Because I've already said enough.

7. Pocahontas

Long before Disney tried to capitalize on the popularity of their "princesses," I was interested in any Disney movie with a female, human lead.  As it had been three and a half years between Beauty and the Beast and Pocahontas, I was definitely ready for another "princess" movie. Now, I've talked about Pocahontas before in this blog. I know about all the controversies, BUT... I think the film had and has a lot to offer. But I won't go into that. I'll just talk about how much of a fanatic I was. Posters, Burger King toys, stuffed animals... anything my pitiful allowance could afford. I especially adored Meeko, the raccoon.

Now, do I still feel the same way about the film? Well... not really. It's still watchable, but I haven't held on to my love for it like I have with Beauty and the Beast. This may or may not have something to do with Mel Gibson (voice of John Smith) turning to the dark side. Or maybe it has everything to do with that?

6. Step By Step

Okay, so I've talked about this show in the past on this blog, and I won't bore you with the same old stuff. I just want to say that this was the show that more or less replaced Full House in the sitcom department for me that year. Just as FH got lame, SBS got awesome. I loved Fridays. Why are Friday nights so boring now?

5. Recording Things On The VCR

At 14, I had a tiny allowance ($3 a week), didn't make all that much babysitting, and my parents were only willing to take me to movies they wanted to see. So that year I didn't get to the theater very often (The Lion King, The Santa Clause, and Pocahontas are the only movies I recall). I was also too young to rent anything from the video store down the street, which required you to have a driver's license or I.D. And to top it all off, my parents really didn't own any movies on VHS. (We had a few Disney movies and one or two Shirley Temple things.) But they had, at least, taught me how to tape stuff off the TV. So, at about 14, I started doing it myself. I would buy blank tapes for $2 apiece and fill them with all manner of TV-ish things. In my later teen years, I would become quite crazy, taping every TV show I could (not having any inkling of DVD boxed sets in the future). But when I first started, I mostly taped made-for-TV-movies. 

So if your cable ever goes out and you're just dying for a marathon of Mother, May I Sleep With An Unwed Axe Murderer's Baby?-type movies, call me. I'm sure I can provide.

4. Computer Time

Computers in 1994-95 were so... simple. Before the internet came along, you could use a PC to type stories, draw pictures, and -- if you were lucky -- play a couple of games, such as Sim City. But even with its limitations, that PC of ours provided hours of entertainment. We had a card-making program that I enjoyed (I had no idea what the printer's ink cost, and didn't care!) and I enjoyed drawing things in, what was it, MS Paint? Something like that.

And then my brother got a program called Klik & Play. He used it to design little video games which he'd show off to his sixth-grade friends. 

Later he would adapt one of those games into an award-winning iPhone game.

Meanwhile, I used the Klik & Play to make tiny little avatars and pretty pictures!!

3. My Girl 2

It's weird to think how much I used to adore this movie. I think it was my age. The movie's about an awkward teenage girl who gets the chance to take a trip without her parents and, along the way, discover who she is. Plus she meets a cute guy. PLUS she gets to have a baby brother, which made me so jealous. Mainly because...

2. Babies

When I was 14, I was obsessed with babies. Baby clothes, baby toys, and, of course, the entities themselves. This obsession is not unheard of in humans, but for many of us it hits in our twenties or thirties, when that annoying bio-clock starts chiming. For me it happened at 14, and it wasn't that I wanted to HAVE one (gross!); rather, I wanted my parents to have another. I was sure that if I asked enough times or made compelling enough arguments, they'd be all for it. But I never got that baby sibling. Meanwhile, my babysitting clients got younger, and, for the first time, I was asked to babysit for an infant. I was even asked to babysit for this baby and his toddler brother, at our home, overnight once. It was then that I learned how much -- or rather how little -- sleep a person gets when there's a baby in the house. And while I still thought having another sibling was a nice idea, that one overnight experience convinced me that, when I really gave it some honest thought, maybe babies were nicer just to look at than to actually have for keeps. But you know, that's just me. I love other people's babies. Thank you for continuing to have them, my friends.

1. Lois & Clark: The New Adventures Of Superman

This one earns the number one spot, and for good reason: I was pretty much obsessed with it. Words can not describe how much I loved this show. I would tape and watch the episodes Sunday night, then re-watch them all throughout the week. That year, season 2 was airing, and it was EPIC. Lois and Clark fell in love and basically got together. I mean, he proposed... and then there was a summer-long cliffhanger (TORTURE!) There were some great episodes, such as That Old Gang Of Mine, Season's Greedings, Tempus Fugitive and And The Answer Is... so many more. Shoot, even just talking about it makes me want to get out the DVDs and have a marathon.

Ahhhh happy memories.


-----

And the inevitable addendum:

The Nanny
Wow, how did I forget this one?? (Well, the fact that it was 18 years ago COULD be a factor....) The Nanny was a must-watch show for most or all of 1994 & 1995. I also enjoyed Dave's World, the show that followed it.

Tetris
I got my own Gameboy in 1995, and with it, Tetris. I don't like to brag, but I'm prrrretty good at that game.

There's A Trope For That - Week of March 4

This week's trope: The Smurfette Principle

"The Smurfette Principle is the tendency for works of fiction to have exactly one female amongst an ensemble of male characters, in spite of the fact that roughly half of the human race is female. Unless a show is purposefully aimed at a female viewing audience, the main characters will tend to be disproportionately male. 

In many series, men will have various different personalities, but women will always be The Chick. Thus, by the Law of Conservation of Detail , you only need one."

Even as a little kid, I noticed this happening in a lot of the shows I watched. 

The Muppet Show: 

Males: Kermit, Fozzy, Rowlf, Animal, Gonzo, Skeeter, Waldorf and Statler, Swedish Chef, Beaker, Bunson

Female: Miss Piggy*

MASH:

(yeah I watched MASH!)

Males: Hawkeye, Klinger, B.J. Hunnicut, Major Winchester, Father Francis, Colonel Potter, Radar

Female: Hotlips Houlihan*

Ducktales:

Males: Scrooge, Launch Pad, Gyro, Huey, Dewey, Louie, Duckworth, The Beagle Boys, Flinthart Glomgold; later, Bubba and Fenton/Gizmoduck.

Females: Mrs. Beakley and Webbigail; Ma Beagle and Magica DeSpell occasionally.

But where was I? Oh yeah. So it never really bothered me. Having just one regular female on the show meant that that person was special. Translation: girls are special and awesome. They are SO awesome that if there was any more than one per show, the TV set would... um... explode, I guess.

Of course, there were exceptions. The Cosby Show was female-heavy, at least until Martin and Elvin joined the cast, evening things up a bit. Then, Martin also brought with him Olivia, so at that point the main cast included four males (Cliff, Theo, Martin, Elvin) and six females (Clair, Sondra, Denise, Vanessa, Rudy, Olivia). 4:6... not too bad of a ratio, there.
 

-MORE EXAMPLIFYING-

As a teenager, my favorite show, Lois & Clark, went crazily male-centric at the end of the first season after Tracy Scoggins (Cat) left the show. Lois, the lone female, was surrounded by Clark, Perry, Jimmy, Jack, and Lex Luthor (count: 1 female, 5 males.) By the beginning of season 2, Jack and Lex were gone, but that still left things at 3:1, and adding Clark's parents to the mix (they appeared in roughly 59% of the episodes) still put it at 4:2. And that's if you don't count Superman as an additional character, but then, why should we? All it is is a costume. Right? RIGHT?

Another favorite, The Pretender, had Jarod, Sydney, Broots, Mr. Raines, Mr. Parker and Mr. Lyle vs. Miss Parker (whose very presence, granted, was equivalent to several members of humankind) and occasionally the awful Brigitte. 6:2. I guess you could count Miss Parker's mother as another female, but then why not also count Angelo? Or Jacob? Or Sam the Sweeper? Or DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I'M EVEN TALKING ABOUT, no you probably do not, I am totally talking to myself, here.

SO ANYWAY!

Let's examine my current favorite shows for male/female proportionality!

Community: It was pretty even... four males, three females... until Chang and the Dean joined the regular cast; now it's 6:3.

Downton Abbey: Ha, I jest, this one is swarming with females. Lord Grantham's got all daughters. Plus a wife. Plus a mother. Plus there's Matthew's mother. And a slew of maids and things.

Oh crap! I just realized most of my favorite movies are male-heavy! (I don't know why I'm saying oh crap. I think I've already said I don't care if males outnumber the ladies. BUT ANYWAY...)

Beauty and the Beast

Males: Beast, Gaston, LeFou, Maurice, Cogsworth, Lumiere, Chip, Philippe, Monsieur D'Arque (Total: 9)

Females: Belle, Mrs. Potts, the wardrobe with six lines, the featherduster? I guess? (Total: 4, and that's being generous.)

Back to the Future

Males: Marty, Doc, Dave, George, Biff/Griff/Buford/Whoever, Biff's 3 cronies, Strickland (Total: 9)

Females: Lorraine, Clara (arguably a strong character, but only in the third film), Linda, and Jennifer, who is parked on a porch swing and left to rot for a movie & a half. (Total: 3.56)

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Males: Indy, Henry, Salla, Marcus, Walter Donovan, the Nazi general, the grail knight, Kazim (Total: 8)

Females: Elsa. And, um, well the only others I can remember appearing in the movie at all are the Nazi who yells "alarm!" at the castle and the random extra who holds up her ticket on the zeppelin. (Total: 1.002)

Dang, that may be the worst one yet!

 In conclusion, NONE OF THIS MATTERS ONE IOTA, and goodnight.

*Yes, I know there were a few minor female characters who sometimes showed up and were all "hi, other female here," but let's face it, nobody cares about them.

fanfictional

I'm one of those people who can read several books at once. In fact, I like to.  Unless it's that rare book that gives me everything I need (which would be nigh impossible, since "everything" includes both fiction and non-fiction and how do you do both? Unless you're James Frey. But can he also write something with historical juiciness? And angsty romance? And humor? I think not), I've gotta have several going on at once.  Well, not at once.  I'm not an octopus, with one book on each of my eight arms.  No, I'll read a chapter or two of one, two chapters of another, maybe dip into a third, go back to the first, and so on.

It seems I'm the same way when it comes to writing.  While there will be times when my focus and attention is on just one project, other times, I get my happiness from three or four projects.  A novel, a short story, a web series, and -- when the mood is right -- fanfic.

Yes, I am a fanfic writer.  And I'm afraid there's a bit of a stigma that goes with that.  Blame it on the nerdy thirteen-year-olds who blast the internet with tales like Harriette Potter -- Long-Lost Twin Sister of Harry -- And The Pealing Bells of Harmony, in which Harriette not only is smarter, braver, and more clever than her born-four-minutes-later brother Harry, but she's scarless, has perfect eyesight, and is the object of lust of Draco Malfoy, Oliver Wood, and Cedric Diggory.  Yes, some fanfic is really cheesy.  A lot is poorly written.  And anyone can publish it for the masses on places like fanfiction.net, then receive oodles of comments from younger readers along the lines of "UR SO AWESUM!"

But despite this, fanfic is not a bad thing.

I actually developed my love for writing as a teenager while penning crappy Friends/Lois & Clark crossovers. Don't ask. They were really dumb and I never shared them. But writing is like anything else -- the more you do it, the better you get at it (well, we hope.)  Later, once I'd written something I deemed worthy of sharing, I did so -- and received comments from older, wiser writers that made my heart swell.  They said I had potential!  I started dabbling in different genres.  I especially enjoyed doing tag-team, or round-robin fics with my friends.  They often turned out very silly (usually, toward the end, because we didn't have the skills to come up with a coherent ending, we'd just casually kill everybody off), but we had a blast doing the actually writing.

Over time, I began to write less fanfic and swing toward more original stuff.  Fanfic kind of has its limitations.  You have set characters and a set canon.  Sure, you can play around with that to some extent -- alternate universes, alternate beginnings, etc. -- but whether or not they're accepted depends on the mercy of your intended audience.  Some fandoms will let you get away with more than others, I suppose.  But really, you do have these already-established characters, and unless you go crazy and throw canon out the window, you have to stick to certain guidelines. Not so with original fiction.  That's yours to do whatever you like with. Go nuts.

So even though original writing has its pros, every once in a while I'll start to think about my favorite TV show and my brain will start going, "Hey... what if...?"  As I lay in bed at night, my mind will churn with possibilities.  And before long, I have to start writing my thoughts down.

Which is why I've written two fanfics in the last six months, and have another one stirring.

No, I can never publish my fanfics for real or make so much as a dime off them.  But they make me happy.  They satisfy my creative urges, at least for a time.

And, in fifteen years, I'm sure they'll give me something to laugh at.

Like those Friends fanfics.

Did I say laugh?  I meant cringe. ;)