Glossy Time Capsules #16
The National Geographic Magazine
June, 1953
Price: 60 cents
I've spent most of my life thinking National Geographic is rather boring. Growing up, it was the one magazine everyone's grandfather had stacks of in their basement. They'd donate boxes of them to schools, where we students would use the magazines in our collage-making schemes. We'd skim through the donated issues, half-hoping to find photos of naked (or at least topless) people, not necessarily because we wanted to look at them, but because we could earn coolness points with our classmates for finding them.
Even as an adult, I've never really appreciated National Geographic. I may leaf through an issue at the doctor's office, hoping something will catch my eye. Occasionally we'll have a winner -- a photo spread of giant pandas, a series on undersea life, a dazzling photo of the sunset over the Australian outback. Yes, we all know NG is renown for its photographs. And I'm sure the accompanying articles have the potential to be fascinating -- to some people.
Which is why this 1953 issue truly surprised me. Nearly every article or subject inside was.. well, interesting to me! A family who took a road trip across America following the Lewis & Clark trail? Cool. A series on old stately homes in Virginia? Nice. An article on the atomic bomb testing in Nevada? Weird, but fascinating. A close look at the famous London Zoo? Heck yes, animals!
Travel... architecture... creepy history... and fuzzy mammals? 66-year-old magazine someone donated to GoodWill, you're coming home with me!
The first 30-odd pages are filled with glorious ads. Some are for products...
"Gee," thought the person making this ad. "Should I spell it you're, so it'll be a pun, as in 'you are set,' because this is a picnic set, and by having one, you'd be ready (i.e. set) to eat? OR should I spell it your, because the set will literally belong to you? Orrrr should I count on the fact that half the people reading this will think this joke is hilarious because the two words sound alike, but are not, and eeeeveryone will see what I did there! Yes. Your it is. It'll use less ink."
Get it? "TAKE"? Because you take a... oh, never mind.
But plenty of the ads are for travel... to... well, pretty much everywhere in the northern hemisphere.
St. Lawrence River! Europe! New York State! Virginia! Alabama! New Brunswick! Bermuda! San Antonio! California! Canada! North Carolina! Ontario! Africa! The South! Quebec! British Columbia! Virginia Seashores! Mexico!
And even if you did manage to decide WHERE to go, you were faced with multiple options as to HOW to get there...
OPTIONS:
Cars...
Hey, it's Barbie, Ken and Midge!
Travel Trailers...
Buses...
Boats...
Trains...
Bikes...? Okay, sure, bikes!
And once you arrived at your destination... were you prepared?
That's right... you better have packed your clothing iron, binoculars, still camera, film camera, travelers checks, picnic basket and dentures, because if you didn't, you're in for a lousy vacation.
Whew.
Then we get to this issue's articles. The first one, about a family who takes a trip across the U.S., has some gorgeous photographs to accompany it...
The piece below, on the zoo in London, reminds us how far these institutions have come in the last half-century.
That giraffe's like, "if only I can somehow hide the "f-o-r"...
Next up, an article on the stately old houses in Virginia...
Yeah, I don't care about the rich snobs who live there. Show me those dangerously tall staircases, darnit!
Another article squeezed into these pages is about modern-day people and places that celebrate, and education people about, the pilgrims o' Plymouth...
And then there's this one, about the "routine" atomic bomb tests in Nevada happening in 1953...
"Plastic lllllady...."
Not only did the Sheahans (mentioned in the caption above) have to live next door to this ruckus (and probably got a rather unhealthy dose or twelve of radiation), but this family just kept getting raw deals. In 2015, they were kicked off their land by the U.S. government. Ah, the U.S. Government, rudely kicking people off their own land since... yeah, well, pretty much forever. :(
Below is what happened to an empty house during one of the test blasts...
And here's a "dummy" who "survived" a blast because she was in her house's basement.
Everything about the whole thing sucks. There, I said it. Atomic bombs are terrible.
Well, at least THIS will cheer me up...
It's... NEAT STUFF YOU SHOULD BUY!
Safety auto-off switches won't be required for 29 years, but do carry on.
Leave the birds alone!
I looked up Sullins College to see if it was still around (it isn't; it closed in the 70s), and learned this little gem:
For most of its existence the college assumed responsibility for the behavior of its students under the operation of in loco parentis. This was typified in 1911 by the school's expelling two girls who went for a ride in a car with two boys from the nearby Kings College. The girls were being held for their parents to come get them, when they eloped with the two boys. This resulted in the college officials and police pursuing the couples into Tennessee. The pursuit failed to apprehend the girls as the pursuers found them in Hawkins County, Tennessee a few minutes after the couples were married. There was discussion about criminal charges for the two boys involved.
First base: Riding in cars with boys.
Second base: Marriage!
Man, I had no idea our great-grandparents' generation was so wild!
The Manilus School also closed in the 70s, but sadly there are no reports of wayward boys being expelled for riding in cars with girls.
Then we get this ad, which is for.. .transistors? Yayyy.
And, on the very back of the magazine, an ad for Coca-Cola.
Refreshed? Or do you really mean caffeinated?
Same thing, really.
So... without a nude in sight (though that test dummy's bare shoulder was pretty shocking) this has been the June, 1953 issue of National Geographic Magazine.
No, I don't know what to make of this either.
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