I am 3 or 4 years old and we're at Blue Lake Park. I'm playing on one of the playgrounds -- for reference, it's the one that used to have the swings that looked like they were recycled from the swing ride at the fair, a double metal slide (stairs up the middle, slides on either side) and a metal jungle gym in the shape of a train engine. The floor of the playground is comprised of sand.
My parents are nearby, though they are not watching me directly. Maybe they're chatting with the extended family or with friends, whoever else is there. My brother is probably in his porto-playpen, too young to join in my adventures.
There's a boy about my age who is throwing sand. He's claimed ownership of the train engine, and won't let anybody get near it. Should any child attempt it, her eyes will sting from the impact of projectile sand. I have experienced this first-hand. No parents seem to be watching this unfold. The adults are all too preoccupied. Perhaps I even ask for help... but if so, none is given.
I decide to take matters into my own hands.
Anyone can fight with sand, but I can do one step better. I gather sand and grass in my hands, then meander over toward the boy, looking like I couldn't care less about his dumb old choo-choo train. When I get close enough, sashaaa! -- I get him, right in the face.
He gets upset. In fact, I think he tattles on me. But his mother takes one look at little innocent ol' me and does not give her son the benefit of the doubt. Either that or she chooses not to bother with me. She does not know my parents, what can she do?
I walk away, go over to my parents. I tell them nothing, though I am quite proud of my efforts. Proud of how I've stood up for myself and the other kids. I want to tell them all about how I thought to mix the natural elements for added effect! But something tells me it might not be best to share what I have done with grown-ups. They have strange, strange ideas about right and wrong, about justice.
No, this one will be my little secret.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Put All The Blame On VCRs
I was thinking the other day about how my parents didn't take me to very many movies when I was a kid. I don't know why. I know they went to movies without us sometimes, so it couldn't have been that we were too poor. I also know that they wouldn't let me see the Back To The Future sequels in the theaters because, ohmygosh, they were rated PG and might be too intense for us! (Nevermind that the original BTTF was one of my favorite films, which I watched repeatedly on tape.) So, I mean, maybe they were just way overprotective ... only prone to letting us see the G-est of the G-rated.
Here are the movies I remember seeing in the theater as a kid:
101 Dalmatians
Batteries Not Included
Honey, I Shrunk The Kids
The Little Mermaid
Beauty and the Beast
Aladdin
Home Alone
An American Tail (possibly?)
Cool Runnings
That's between the ages of 0-13. And you might think I saw more, but that I just don't remember them... yeah, well, I doubt it. I have a pretty good memory when it comes to movies.
Meanwhile, we did have a VCR when I was growing up. My dad purchased the first one in 1985. I remember the night we first got it, how he tried to explain to me that I couldn't watch Dumbo NOW, but I would be able to watch it the next day. Madness, I thought. Man, you're crazy! But sure enough, there Dumbo was the next day... and the next... and the next....
Thanks to the magic of TV and that VCR, I spent my childhood watching (and rewatching) Dumbo, Mickey and the Beanstalk, Lambert the Sheepish Lion, Heidi's Song, Garfield In Paradise, A Garfield Halloween, A Garfield Christmas, Garfield In The Rough, A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, A Charlie Brown Christmas, Race For Your Life Charlie Brown, What A Nightmare Charlie Brown (and about a dozen more CB specials) Mary Poppins, Peter Pan (with Mary Martin), The Care Bears Movie, The Secret Garden, Robin Hood, Flight Of The Navigator, Back to the Future, The Goonies, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, multiple Looney Tunes cartoon specials, A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court, the Claymation Christmas Special, Alice In Wonderland, The Lion The Witch And The Wardrobe, Pollyanna, and many more.
However, just because things were edited for television didn't mean my parents always approved of what they had taped for us....
Once, the movie The Adventures of Mark Twain aired, and my family watched it together. My brother and I really enjoyed it, but my parents were not pleased. There's a storyline involving Adam and Eve that is, well, not exactly Biblical. And my parents were all about things being correct, satire be darned. They decided the movie was just too scandalous. And so, after explaining their reasonings to my brother and I, they did the unthinkable:
The taped over the movie.
So of course, because of this, The Adventures Of Mark Twain took on a whole new life in my brain as That movie we loved but that my parents stole from us. For years I yearned to see it again. As soon as I could, I bought myself a copy on VHS. I've watched it several times since. The funny thing is, the Adam & Eve parts are probably the lamest of the whole movie. But the rest is really creepy and cool. Silly parental censorship!
Another time, my dad decided to tape Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade for us. This may have been the second time it had aired on network television, because my dad was ready with the VCR remote during the scene where Walter Donovan turns to dust and bones (read: he chose poooorly). My dad actually paused the tape during the recording so that Walter's progression of deterioration was almost entirely omitted. Why he thought this scene, out of all the scenes in the movie, was the one thing that needed to be censored, I will never know. As it stands now, I don't find that scene -- the full version -- scary at all, and never have. I think it's actually kind of cool! My brother and I both chuckle at this memory of my dad's over-protectiveness.
My parents weren't the only ones trying to look out for us. A lot of those taped-off-TV-movies I watched repeatedly as a kid had already been censored quite a bit by the networks. Back To The Future, for example, had most of its "bad" language replaced with somewhat less-objectionable wording... but otherwise, the film remained the same. Not so with the network TV version of The Goonies back in the 80's. That was the version I always watched as a kid. As an adult, I got the DVD and was stunned to see a bunch of scenes I'd never laid eyes on before. The kids shaking the pipes and disrupting the plumbing in the country club? Mouth talking to Rosalita about drugs? Andi kissing Mikey and commenting on his braces? Where did all these scenes come from? To this day, I find them foreign, as if the version on the DVD is some bizarre director's cut or something.
And now it's 2010 and VCRs are practically obsolete. Tivos and Blu-Ray players reign. But I don't understand how people can get rid of their VCRs. Don't they, too, have tapes full of old memories? Or is that just my family? I guess most people can just update their movie collection when a new format comes along, but I'll never be able to. I mean, yeah, I have Pollyanna on DVD now, and I have to admit it looks a whole lot better than the tape -- but sometimes, just sometimes, it's nice to pull out the old taped-off-channel-12 recording of it and watch it alongside those goofy 80s commercials that accompanied it back in the day.
Because that's the way I used to watch it.
And sometimes... that's just the way I want it.
Here are the movies I remember seeing in the theater as a kid:
101 Dalmatians
Batteries Not Included
Honey, I Shrunk The Kids
The Little Mermaid
Beauty and the Beast
Aladdin
Home Alone
An American Tail (possibly?)
Cool Runnings
That's between the ages of 0-13. And you might think I saw more, but that I just don't remember them... yeah, well, I doubt it. I have a pretty good memory when it comes to movies.
Meanwhile, we did have a VCR when I was growing up. My dad purchased the first one in 1985. I remember the night we first got it, how he tried to explain to me that I couldn't watch Dumbo NOW, but I would be able to watch it the next day. Madness, I thought. Man, you're crazy! But sure enough, there Dumbo was the next day... and the next... and the next....
Thanks to the magic of TV and that VCR, I spent my childhood watching (and rewatching) Dumbo, Mickey and the Beanstalk, Lambert the Sheepish Lion, Heidi's Song, Garfield In Paradise, A Garfield Halloween, A Garfield Christmas, Garfield In The Rough, A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, A Charlie Brown Christmas, Race For Your Life Charlie Brown, What A Nightmare Charlie Brown (and about a dozen more CB specials) Mary Poppins, Peter Pan (with Mary Martin), The Care Bears Movie, The Secret Garden, Robin Hood, Flight Of The Navigator, Back to the Future, The Goonies, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, multiple Looney Tunes cartoon specials, A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court, the Claymation Christmas Special, Alice In Wonderland, The Lion The Witch And The Wardrobe, Pollyanna, and many more.
However, just because things were edited for television didn't mean my parents always approved of what they had taped for us....
Once, the movie The Adventures of Mark Twain aired, and my family watched it together. My brother and I really enjoyed it, but my parents were not pleased. There's a storyline involving Adam and Eve that is, well, not exactly Biblical. And my parents were all about things being correct, satire be darned. They decided the movie was just too scandalous. And so, after explaining their reasonings to my brother and I, they did the unthinkable:
The taped over the movie.
So of course, because of this, The Adventures Of Mark Twain took on a whole new life in my brain as That movie we loved but that my parents stole from us. For years I yearned to see it again. As soon as I could, I bought myself a copy on VHS. I've watched it several times since. The funny thing is, the Adam & Eve parts are probably the lamest of the whole movie. But the rest is really creepy and cool. Silly parental censorship!
Another time, my dad decided to tape Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade for us. This may have been the second time it had aired on network television, because my dad was ready with the VCR remote during the scene where Walter Donovan turns to dust and bones (read: he chose poooorly). My dad actually paused the tape during the recording so that Walter's progression of deterioration was almost entirely omitted. Why he thought this scene, out of all the scenes in the movie, was the one thing that needed to be censored, I will never know. As it stands now, I don't find that scene -- the full version -- scary at all, and never have. I think it's actually kind of cool! My brother and I both chuckle at this memory of my dad's over-protectiveness.
My parents weren't the only ones trying to look out for us. A lot of those taped-off-TV-movies I watched repeatedly as a kid had already been censored quite a bit by the networks. Back To The Future, for example, had most of its "bad" language replaced with somewhat less-objectionable wording... but otherwise, the film remained the same. Not so with the network TV version of The Goonies back in the 80's. That was the version I always watched as a kid. As an adult, I got the DVD and was stunned to see a bunch of scenes I'd never laid eyes on before. The kids shaking the pipes and disrupting the plumbing in the country club? Mouth talking to Rosalita about drugs? Andi kissing Mikey and commenting on his braces? Where did all these scenes come from? To this day, I find them foreign, as if the version on the DVD is some bizarre director's cut or something.
And now it's 2010 and VCRs are practically obsolete. Tivos and Blu-Ray players reign. But I don't understand how people can get rid of their VCRs. Don't they, too, have tapes full of old memories? Or is that just my family? I guess most people can just update their movie collection when a new format comes along, but I'll never be able to. I mean, yeah, I have Pollyanna on DVD now, and I have to admit it looks a whole lot better than the tape -- but sometimes, just sometimes, it's nice to pull out the old taped-off-channel-12 recording of it and watch it alongside those goofy 80s commercials that accompanied it back in the day.
Because that's the way I used to watch it.
And sometimes... that's just the way I want it.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Partnership For A Slackerful Existence
This is my brain...
This is school...
This is my brain on school...
Any questions?
I mean, besides asking me why I'm using mixed metaphors and yoinking egg images from Google?
No? Okay, carry on, then.
This is school...
This is my brain on school...
Any questions?
I mean, besides asking me why I'm using mixed metaphors and yoinking egg images from Google?
No? Okay, carry on, then.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
If You Build It... (aka Lego Projects: "Made In Oregon" (2010))
I built a Lego thing for the state fair. I called it "Made In Oregon." AND IT WON THIRD PLACE!
Well, it won third place in the "Original design, LEGO bricks only - adults - over 5 years experience" Lego category. There are about eight categories, I should mention that. It wasn't, like, the third best Lego design of ALL or anything.
Okay, it was. Actually it was the ultimate awesomest for realz!
Listen to me, acting like a proud beauty pageant mommy!
The thing was, that was not easy to build! I have ultimate respect for Lego builders, now, because wow... I mean, Lego bricks are great, but if you press too hard, your whole structure can go kablooey in a hurry, and then you have to start all over and... yeah, it's totally an exercise in patience. This took me more than a week to build.
More photos...
Also, two of my scrapbook pages won ribbons! This was my first year entering anything in the fair. (I almost did last year, but then the date for delivering your entries coincided with my trip to Nebraska, so it didn't happen.)
My Little Sister and I are already talking about what we will make to enter next year. Decorated cakes, perhaps, because with cakes you can eat your mistakes! (Okay, what is UP with me and the dorky rhyming?)
The Oregon State Fair runs through September 6th!
Well, it won third place in the "Original design, LEGO bricks only - adults - over 5 years experience" Lego category. There are about eight categories, I should mention that. It wasn't, like, the third best Lego design of ALL or anything.
Okay, it was. Actually it was the ultimate awesomest for realz!
Listen to me, acting like a proud beauty pageant mommy!
The thing was, that was not easy to build! I have ultimate respect for Lego builders, now, because wow... I mean, Lego bricks are great, but if you press too hard, your whole structure can go kablooey in a hurry, and then you have to start all over and... yeah, it's totally an exercise in patience. This took me more than a week to build.
More photos...
Also, two of my scrapbook pages won ribbons! This was my first year entering anything in the fair. (I almost did last year, but then the date for delivering your entries coincided with my trip to Nebraska, so it didn't happen.)
My Little Sister and I are already talking about what we will make to enter next year. Decorated cakes, perhaps, because with cakes you can eat your mistakes! (Okay, what is UP with me and the dorky rhyming?)
The Oregon State Fair runs through September 6th!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Statuettes
24
30 Rock
The Amazing Race
American Idol
Antiques Roadshow
The Big Bang Theory
Big Love
Breaking Bad
Burn Notice
The Cleaner
The Closer
The Colbert Report
Curb Your Enthusiasm
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Damages
Dancing With The Stars
Desperate Housewives
Dexter
Dirty Jobs
Friday Night Lights
Glee
The Good Wife
House
How I Met Your Mother
Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution
Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List
Law & Order: SVU
Lost
Mad Men
Men Of A Certain Age
Modern Family
Monk
Mythbusters
The New Adventures Of Old Christine
Nurse Jackie
The Office
Parks and Recreation
Project Runway
Real Time With Bill Maher
Saturday Night Live
Survivor
Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien
Top Chef
True Blood
Two And A Half Men
Undercover Boss
That's a lot of shows. What do I watch? The Amazing Race, Survivor, Antiques Roadshow, and The Office. Forty-something shows, and I watch a mere four. Okay, sometimes I watch House with my mom. So five, I guess. And I think I've missed episodes of every one of them, so it's not like I'm a die-hard or anything.
Meanwhile, the Emmys are constantly snubbing the shows I enjoy most. Buffy The Vampire Slayer, one of the cleverest shows ever, never got a main Emmy nod. The Pretender? Nope. Lois & Clark? Not even. Wonderfalls? Completely overlooked. Since a lot of the shows I enjoy tend to be off the Emmy radar, I often feel like it's pointless to care about the awards. Obviously, the academy of Emmariffic arts and sciences is comprised of a bunch of dodoheads, so why should I give them my time?
Typically, if I do end up watching the Emmys, I often find myself rooting for specific actors or actresses -- and not because I liked their performance in the show they're nominated for -- but because, eh, I liked them in some movie back in the 80's. Nostalgia conquers all!
This year, I'll be rooting for Andre Braugher on Men Of A Certain Age, because Scott Bakula is also on that show, and Quantum Leap brings back fond memories. Aw, Sam and Al and Ziggy... those were the days.
I'll also cheer on Kyle Chandler -- not because I've ever seen Friday Night Lights, but because I used to like his show Early Edition back in the day.
As for the ladies, I think I'll root for January Jones, because I like people who are named after months. Plus she was in a TV movie I liked once. If TV movies aren't prime factors in these kinds of situations, I don't know what are!
And you know... sometimes the Emmy telecast does turn out to be worth it. Like when Kristin Chenoweth won for Pushing Daisies? Totally awesome. I was glad to be watching it that time.
Besides, Ricky Gervais has been known to show up at the Emmys and sometimes even present awards. Ricky is totally worth tuning in for.
Oh, I've also seen one of the two nominees for outstanding TV miniseries... Return to Cranford. It's up against The Pacific, which is getting all the good buzz. Cranford, in case you were wondering, was one of those Masterpiece-Theatre-Judi-Dench exhibitions. I seem to remember either someone getting hit by train or being trampled by a cow. Or maybe it was both.*
In the end, I don't really care who wins anything, except in the Reality Show Host competition. I swear on a stack of Little Golden Books, if Tom Bergeron wins that one, I'm boycotting the Emmys next year.
And by next year, I mean FOR-EV-ERRR.
*Edit: Oh hey, I just remembered. The cow got hit BY the train. Wow, how did I forget a thing like that?
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The Swarm
Do you want to see something gross?
In case you don't particularly, I'll make the picture small. But you can click on it to see it in its finest state...
<--- Flies.
I bought this fly trap about a week ago, to take care of the pest problem around our chicken coop. $4.99. Previously I had been spending 45 minutes outside daily, bludgeoning flies with a swatter, in what amounted to a modified game of Whack-a-Mole. And while that was fun for a while, I realized I wasn't making much of a dent in the fly population. Besides, my shoulders were starting to hurt. I needed something else. So off to the store I went, intent on buying an electric-shocking flyswatter or some other novelty. That's when I saw this. All I'd have to do was set it up, hang it up, and wait.
Day 1 - 8 flies.
Day 2 - 82 flies.
Day 3 - 200 flies.
And so on...
Today, a week later, the trap is half full of insect carcasses. See that green stripe with the word "Rescue" on it? The bodies go all the way to the bottom of that green part. They just keep adding up, stacking on top of the previously deceased. Isn't that revolting? I love it! The fine print on the packaging says the trap can hold 2,000 flies. TWO THOUSAND. So that means there are about 1,000 in there right now. Incredible! Wait, I shouldn't have told you that... we could've had a contest, like those jelly beans in a jar contests. The one where you win the jelly beans. Only this time, it could be loads better. Whoever guessed the closest could win the bag of flies! Think of how happy that could make your pet frogs, if you had any. Just THINK!
Oh well, maybe next time...
In case you don't particularly, I'll make the picture small. But you can click on it to see it in its finest state...
I bought this fly trap about a week ago, to take care of the pest problem around our chicken coop. $4.99. Previously I had been spending 45 minutes outside daily, bludgeoning flies with a swatter, in what amounted to a modified game of Whack-a-Mole. And while that was fun for a while, I realized I wasn't making much of a dent in the fly population. Besides, my shoulders were starting to hurt. I needed something else. So off to the store I went, intent on buying an electric-shocking flyswatter or some other novelty. That's when I saw this. All I'd have to do was set it up, hang it up, and wait.
Day 1 - 8 flies.
Day 2 - 82 flies.
Day 3 - 200 flies.
And so on...
Today, a week later, the trap is half full of insect carcasses. See that green stripe with the word "Rescue" on it? The bodies go all the way to the bottom of that green part. They just keep adding up, stacking on top of the previously deceased. Isn't that revolting? I love it! The fine print on the packaging says the trap can hold 2,000 flies. TWO THOUSAND. So that means there are about 1,000 in there right now. Incredible! Wait, I shouldn't have told you that... we could've had a contest, like those jelly beans in a jar contests. The one where you win the jelly beans. Only this time, it could be loads better. Whoever guessed the closest could win the bag of flies! Think of how happy that could make your pet frogs, if you had any. Just THINK!
Oh well, maybe next time...
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Fabulous He
I have an addendum to make to my movie character crushes list.
Or, as I have affectionately dubbed him, Hottie McHotalot.
At first I wasn't sure if I should include him, since Albert was a real person, not simply a movie character. But then I remembered that it's my list and I get to make the rules. Prince Albert makes the list because he is kind and helpful and head-over-heels in love with Victoria. Like, at first his relatives/advisors try to set up the marriage for strategic reasons. But when Albert falls in love with Victoria, he turns his back on all the scheming. His heart is pure. I love it when hearts are that. It just makes me all googly inside.
So welcome to the list, Al!
I present: Prince Albert from The Young Victoria...
Or, as I have affectionately dubbed him, Hottie McHotalot.
At first I wasn't sure if I should include him, since Albert was a real person, not simply a movie character. But then I remembered that it's my list and I get to make the rules. Prince Albert makes the list because he is kind and helpful and head-over-heels in love with Victoria. Like, at first his relatives/advisors try to set up the marriage for strategic reasons. But when Albert falls in love with Victoria, he turns his back on all the scheming. His heart is pure. I love it when hearts are that. It just makes me all googly inside.
So welcome to the list, Al!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Raving About Ramona!
I'm so happy right now becauuuse...
RAMONA AND BEEZUS IS NOT AN EPIC FAILURE (as was previously feared)
A bit o' history: I discovered the Ramona books when I was seven or eight years old. I've read all of them, now, multiple times. I love them. And I loved the Sarah Polley TV show. So, you know, I was going to be hard to please anyway. When I first found out they were making a Ramona movie I thought, Why? The 80's TV series was awesome. It captured the essence of the books. Why can't they just leave it at that? The movie's going to go and tarnish the memory of Ramona! RAAWWRR!! (I find that a good roar often gives a rant a little something extra.)
A year or so later, when I caught a glimpse of some of the movie audition videos online... and noticed that the dialogue/situations were not straight from the books, but rather seemed to take place AFTER the books... I thought, Great, it's not an adaptation... it's like a continuing story. We know how those can turn out. :(
And then I heard they'd cast Selena Gomez as Beezus and thought, Ugh, Disney Channel stunt casting. This is REALLY going to bite.
AND THEN, when I realized the screenplay had been written by the same lady who was responsible for adapting Ella Enchanted for the big screen, I started screaming obscenities and throwing tomatoes.
Well, not really. But I did frown some.
So suffice it to say, I was nervous going into the theater, but I had to see Ramona and Beezus for myself!
And guess what? I was really, really, really, pleasantly surprised!
Ramona and Beezus takes place when Ramona is nine years old, sort of in Ramona's World territory. Things are a little out of sequence, though, as baby Roberta has already been born, but the cat, Picky-Picky, is still around.
Events from many of the Ramona books pop up, including the toothpaste incident, the crown of burrs, the raw egg fiasco, and jumping through the "hole in the house." A BUNCH more, too, but I don't want to spoil them all. Let's just say, fans of the books? You won't be disappointed.
Of course, the movie doesn't stick 100% to the books. There are quite a few new scenes in the film, but they work to tie everything together. There's also a subplot involving a teenariffic romance between Beezus and Henry Huggins. (Gasp! What would Beverly Cleary say?!)
Overall, it's a really cute movie. Sad scenes (warning! warning! Ramona Forever fans may know the one I mean) are handled tastefully (which is not to say I didn't shed a tear, because I so totally did.) Joey King, who plays Ramona, is a natural comedic actress. And 99% of the casting decisions were spot-on.
I would highly recommend this movie to anyone who used to love the Ramona books. This will definitely be one I buy on DVD and show to future generations of kids.
Well, that and the Sarah Polley TV show. I mean, come on... that's a classic!
RAMONA AND BEEZUS IS NOT AN EPIC FAILURE (as was previously feared)
A bit o' history: I discovered the Ramona books when I was seven or eight years old. I've read all of them, now, multiple times. I love them. And I loved the Sarah Polley TV show. So, you know, I was going to be hard to please anyway. When I first found out they were making a Ramona movie I thought, Why? The 80's TV series was awesome. It captured the essence of the books. Why can't they just leave it at that? The movie's going to go and tarnish the memory of Ramona! RAAWWRR!! (I find that a good roar often gives a rant a little something extra.)
A year or so later, when I caught a glimpse of some of the movie audition videos online... and noticed that the dialogue/situations were not straight from the books, but rather seemed to take place AFTER the books... I thought, Great, it's not an adaptation... it's like a continuing story. We know how those can turn out. :(
And then I heard they'd cast Selena Gomez as Beezus and thought, Ugh, Disney Channel stunt casting. This is REALLY going to bite.
AND THEN, when I realized the screenplay had been written by the same lady who was responsible for adapting Ella Enchanted for the big screen, I started screaming obscenities and throwing tomatoes.
Well, not really. But I did frown some.
So suffice it to say, I was nervous going into the theater, but I had to see Ramona and Beezus for myself!
And guess what? I was really, really, really, pleasantly surprised!
Ramona and Beezus takes place when Ramona is nine years old, sort of in Ramona's World territory. Things are a little out of sequence, though, as baby Roberta has already been born, but the cat, Picky-Picky, is still around.
Events from many of the Ramona books pop up, including the toothpaste incident, the crown of burrs, the raw egg fiasco, and jumping through the "hole in the house." A BUNCH more, too, but I don't want to spoil them all. Let's just say, fans of the books? You won't be disappointed.
Of course, the movie doesn't stick 100% to the books. There are quite a few new scenes in the film, but they work to tie everything together. There's also a subplot involving a teenariffic romance between Beezus and Henry Huggins. (Gasp! What would Beverly Cleary say?!)
Overall, it's a really cute movie. Sad scenes (warning! warning! Ramona Forever fans may know the one I mean) are handled tastefully (which is not to say I didn't shed a tear, because I so totally did.) Joey King, who plays Ramona, is a natural comedic actress. And 99% of the casting decisions were spot-on.
I would highly recommend this movie to anyone who used to love the Ramona books. This will definitely be one I buy on DVD and show to future generations of kids.
Well, that and the Sarah Polley TV show. I mean, come on... that's a classic!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Up A Tree Without A Clue
Every year, people are faced with the same grueling decision: What to put on the top of the Christmas tree?
Should it be a star, symbolizing the star the Three Wise Men saw up in the sky that led them to the little town of Bethlehem?
Or, perhaps, an angel, in honor of the angel & his posse who heralded the lowly shepherds with the news of Jesus' birth?
It's a tough one. Luckily, some families do not need to make this yearly decision, because they have a set tradition. Every year, it's the same. These people are, you could say, on Team Star OR Team Angel.
But, for the sake of shaking things up a bit, I would like to propose a NEW team. Something entirely else for trees this holiday season. Something like this...
Huzzah! Vampire up a tree!
Last weekend I was visiting my relatives in Port Angeles, Washington, one of several meccas for Twilight fans. In the first book and movie, Bella and her friends go there to buy prom dresses. Bella goes to a book store and then nearly gets attacked by some frat guys. She is saved by Edward, his Volvo, and his Glare of Doom, and they go out to dinner together. She eats pasta, he eats her, they all die, the end.
Or no, I think I skipped a part.
SO ANYWAY, Port Angeles has decided it wants to cash in on all the Twi-hards by offering them wares galore in a store called "Dazzled By Twilight." Yes, in the heart of downtown Port Angeles, there is an entire store devoted entirely to the Twilight saga.
How long it'll actually last is anyone's guess.
Inside, there were racks of garments honoring all the vampires. There were statues and cardboard cutouts and posters and mugs and bleeping shrines devoted to the major characters.
There were middle-aged ladies scoping out the newest merchandise and pestering the clerks about when sold-out items would be in stock.
There were middle-aged ladies scoping out the newest merchandise and pestering the clerks about when sold-out items would be in stock.
There were pieces of merchandise celebrating Forks, the town where Bella and Edward supposedly live. There was a display devoted to La Push, home of Jacob and his ilk.
hay guys anyone got a shirt i can borrow?
There was jewelry, including Bella's engagement ring -- so that you, too, can be engaged to Edward. Oh, Edward and his silly polygamous ways!
To the Twilight fan, Dazzled By Twilight has got to be a dream come true. For me, who read 90% of the first book and saw two of the movies, it's a little strange and overwhelming.
And which team, you ask, am I on? Team Edward or Team Jacob?
NEITHER.
Team Angel all the way!
B-)
Saturday, July 17, 2010
10 Movie Characters I've Got A Crush On
Come on, admit it, at some point you, too, have crushed on a movie character. Am I right? Sitting there in the theater, eating your overpriced popcorn, you've nearly fallen out of your seat because suddenly there appears the most gorgeous, adorable, perfect character you've ever seen. Right there in front of you. Thirty feet tall. Tall and beautiful.
And alas, they're not real.
And that hurts.
Thank goodness for DVD players and the ability to watch those movies over and over again. And in the darkness of your own living room, you can close your eyes... and pretend....
Here are my top ten movie crushes, in no particular order...
1. Louis Connelly, August Rush
If you can, in fact, remove your jaw from the floor after witnessing any scene which involves Jonathan Rhys Meyers, you perhaps can then take the time to appreciate how absolutely adorable his character is. Louis is a musician who meets The One. When he loses her through circumstances beyond his control, he crashes. But when he decides he's going to go out and find her, hope -- and music -- comes back into his life, and he takes up his guitar again. And damn, he is good. Pros: A nice guy, a great musician, very passionate. Cons: Has some inner demons he needs to purge.
2. Clark Kent, Superman Returns
Some people think Lois Lane is kind of a moron. Supposedly this is because she can not tell that Clark Kent is Superman, even though she has spent ample time with both of them. But really, I think the main reason she is moronic because she is WITH ANOTHER GUY. I mean sure, James Marsden's cute and all, but how can she ignore Brandon Routh's smoldering eyes? How can she not see how completely beautiful a person he is? Why is she still with James Marsden even, I don't know, ten seconds after Clark Kent's come back to Metropolis? Really, Lois -- we need to have a talk. Pros: Kind to children and animals. Cons: Is kind of awkward and dweeby... OR IS HE?
3. Gilbert Blythe, Anne Of Green Gables and Anne Of Green Gables: The Sequel
There is something to be said for a guy who truly loves just one girl, even when she gives him no hope whatsoever. A guy who offers this girl rides to and from work. Who offers a switcharoo so that she can have his job, because it's closer to her home. And who stands by while she gets her act together, waiting as patiently as he can. In some places, he'd be called a stalker. But viewers know Gilbert Blythe's heart is true, and FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, ANNE, GET A CLUE! (Whoa, did that just rhyme? Go me!) Pros: Sweet, patient, smart. Cons: He does like to tease...
Oh, Mike, Mike, Mike. Mike's stuck on a spaceship called the Satellite of Love. He lives with four robots. They're forced to watch terrible, gut-wrenchingly awful movies, and yet -- he and his pals find humor in all of them. Their riffs -- everything from obscure pop culture references to simply making fun of the stupidity on screen directly -- consistently leave me in stitches. Pros: Mike is extremely witty and is patient with his robot friends, even though they give him a hard time. Cons: He's sort of stuck... up in space. Not much hope for a "life", really...
5. Benny Rodriguez,
The Sandlot
I know, I know, the kid's like 13 years old and I should not be crushing on him at my age. But considering I was about that age when I first saw the film, and considering the actor is, in fact, older than I am in real life, I see no wrongdoing. So leave me alone, dangit! Meanwhile, Benny is the most adorable member of the Sandlot squad. He's the best at baseball, the fastest runner, and he's super sweet. While the other Sandlot kids are cracking rude jokes about the new kid, Benny reaches out and invites him to play ball. Pros: Total sweetheart, the only one brave enough to truly face "The Beast." Cons: Has some personal fears he must overcome. But hey, who doesn't?
6. Johnny Martin, PenelopeIn this film, a twist on the "Beauty and the Beast" story, Johnny falls in love with Penelope, despite her fantastical disfigurement. He sees her for her true beauty. Now he's just got to get her to see that! Pros: He's super sweet, and plays musical instruments like a pro. Cons: He has some personal problems early on in the film, but he eventually cleans himself up. Yay for reformation!
7. Indiana Jones, the first three Indiana Jones films
Brilliant, brave, and badass -- let's face it, Indiana Jones is the epitome of cool. Pros: Good-looking, resourceful, can handle just about anything. Cons: Except snakes.
It'd be one thing if Oliver Wood was just a good-looking Quidditch player... but no. They had to go and cast a gorgeous Scottish actor (Sean Biggerstaff) in the role of the Gryffindor Quidditch captain. Whenever Oliver goes about explaining the wizarding game to little Harry Potter, I tend to lose all sense of time and space. Pros: The accent, omg the accent. Cons: In the books, Oliver's kind of crazy. But wait, who said anything about the books? This list is about movie characters! Forget that then -- Oliver is awesome.
9. Robin Hood, Disney's Robin Hood
I am not ashamed to admit I think an animated fox is kinda sexy. Robin Hood is clever and brave and has an English accent, oh my. Pros: He's a one-woman man, dutifully devoted to his childhood love, Maid Marion. He would even die for her, which is totally romantic. Cons: He's a little cocky, but at least he can back it up. Have you seen him with a bow & arrow?
10. Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice (1995)
So he's prideful. And prejudiced. But only at first! Elizabeth Bennet manages to warm & soften his heart like a yummy Tollhouse cookie. Pros: Mr. Darcy is nice to his little sister, mean to anyone who'd try to hurt the women in his life, and looks great after a midday swim. Cons: Always with the staring, the longing staring. We're not Edward Cullen, here, Darcy! And it's not polite to stare! Oh, but it's okay... you're adorable, I forgive you!
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Well, looks like I couldn't stop at just 10! Here are four more movie characters I've got a crush on.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Well, looks like I couldn't stop at just 10! Here are four more movie characters I've got a crush on.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
I hope you enjoyed this list, and maybe even agreed with me on a few of them. If not, tell me about your movie crushes. And if you're currently in a relationship now and couldn't possibly admit to having any current crushes -- tell me who you liked when you were a kid. Was it Han Solo? Marty McFly? Charles Foster Kane? (Hey, I don't know how old you are!) Leave some comments and let me know!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
make mine art
I checked every CD tower. On the shelves. In boxes. Under the bed. Met some dust bunnies. Should probably clean someday. Couldn't find it anywhere. And then, at last, there it was -- in an obscure CD case nestled under papers I haven't touched in a year or more -- the CD-Rom of Paint Shop Pro 7, my favorite and most trustworthy art program.
I gingerly removed it from its sleeve and put it into the computer. Would it install? Would it work? This is a newish computer I've got here -- what if it didn't work? Then what was I going to do? I could buy Paintshop Pro 9, sure, but that costs lots of money and besides, it's not as familiar to me as my friend, dear old #7. No, it just had to work.
And then... the moment of truth....
IT WORKED!
As tears of relief and fondness sprung to my eyes, I kinda felt like Jodie Foster in Contact when she sees all the pretties in the wormhole in outer space.
I gingerly removed it from its sleeve and put it into the computer. Would it install? Would it work? This is a newish computer I've got here -- what if it didn't work? Then what was I going to do? I could buy Paintshop Pro 9, sure, but that costs lots of money and besides, it's not as familiar to me as my friend, dear old #7. No, it just had to work.
And then... the moment of truth....
IT WORKED!
As tears of relief and fondness sprung to my eyes, I kinda felt like Jodie Foster in Contact when she sees all the pretties in the wormhole in outer space.
"It's so beautiful!"
Yeah, Natalie Portman clone, I even kind of missed your stupid half face.
Now let's make some PICSHORES!!!1
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)