And the rest...

Happy new year! Today I present you with the third and final list of 2011 Commemorwhatever. I've already talked about TV shows and theatrical viewings. Now it's all about movies I watched in a non-theater setting. There were some strange ones this year. I've even written about a few of them (John Adams, Gladiator) here. But there are more....

Anne Of Green Gables (1934) - So I'm watching this charming little black & white film and it's following the novel quite nicely. Sure, they've combined the Rachel Lynde and Mrs. Barry characters, but that's no big deal. Why have I heard this film is unfaithful to the novel? I'm really not seeing it... Oh hey, here's Gilbert! There's Anne whacking his head with a slate. There's them acting coy around one another. There's them falling in love and having a secret forbidden affair ...wait WHAT?! If that's not bizarre enough, get this: when Marilla finds out about it, she rubs it in Anne's face that she and Matthew did her a favor taking her pathetic orphan self in, and how dare she betray them? Guilt-ridden, Anne and Gilbert break things off, but are happily reunited a few years later. But by that point I'm beyond caring. Who are these people?!?

Alice In Wonderland (2010) - Tim Burton has always been a bit wacky. Back in the day, people appreciated the wackiness, even expected it. So he tried, it seemed, with each successive film, so push the envelope just a little further. Then there was Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. He adapted a Roald Dahl book. Roald Dahl was wacky. Burton made Dahl look like a tweed-donning professor of anthropology. Burton simply could not, by the laws of nature, get any kookier, but by gum, he tried anyway. Behold Alice In Wonderland. To use a Wonka analogy, remember the Everlasting Gobbstoppers? Suck, suck, suck, and nothing ever happens? Yeah, it was like that.

WALL-E - I enjoyed it a lot. I appreciate the fact that I've managed to watch most Pixar movies for the first time without knowing anything about them in advance (besides the obvious, ie "WALL-E equals robot.") WALL-E was full of surprises, from a rather important social message to some fun nostalgic throwbacks.

The Phantom (2009) - So there was a Phantom movie in 1996 and it was set in the 30s. This one is set in 2009, and there's a new actor playing the title character, but it totally doesn't feel like a reboot because, well, unlike Superman or Spiderman, there isn't just one Phantom. For hundreds of years, it's been the same - when one Phantom dies, his son takes over the purple suit. So it's easy to believe that 2009's Phantom is the actual great-grandson of the other one. If only this new guy could've retained Billy Zane's uber-hotness gene. Oh well.

The Social Network - I really wouldn't have cared if this movie had won the Oscar over The King's Speech; I thought they were equally compelling. TSN is more fast-paced, and the whole time I was bouncing back and forth betweening rooting for the main character and thinking Wow, what a jerk. Jerk, perhaps, but a brilliant one, and it's fascinating watching a project start from merely an idea and become something so huge. Facebook may have it's faults, but let's face it, even your grandma is probably on it. That's huge.

Inception - I was so keen on liking this movie. Leonardo DiCaprio, Christopher Nolan... and dreaming. I love dreaming. And maybe because of that, I was disappointed. The film could've gone so many places, and yet... it didn't bother to do much of anything a dozen other recent movies hadn't already done. The movie also confused a lot of people; I was only confused as to why the film got such high praise. It was a puddle of potential, populated with Batman-franchise refugees. Let's try to do better next time, Mr. Nolan.

Cinetopia

Aaaand we're back. 'Tis time for some more list insanity to celebrate the dusking of 2011. This time it's a much shorter list: Movies I Saw In Theaters This Year. We're talking super-short. Goblinesque. But enough riffraff, let us commence:

Movies I Saw In Theaters This Year

1. The Chronicles Of Narnia: Voyage Of The Dawn Treader - So Prince Caspian is hot. Good movie.

2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 - You know which Harry Potter character is hot? Oliver Wood. Know who's not in this movie? Oliver Wood.* But that's not what made me cry. Oh Snape, you crazy fool....

3. Puss In Boots - Kittehs!!!1 Adorable little romp. (Also: much better than Shrek.)

4. Muppets - As much as I enjoy the Muppets themselves, I've never LOVED any of their films. This was good, not great. Maybe it needed more Rowlf.

5. The King's Speech - OMG DARCY AND ELIZABETH WERE REUNITED AGAIN!!! Ummm hi?

6....

Well, I told you it was short.

Adieu.

*-I've been told Oliver is, in fact, in the movie, somewhere among all the fightin' wizards towards the end, but I have yet to spot him. And so, as far as I'm concerned, it does not count.

The Tube

Well, 2011 is coming to a close. And I'm sure you know what that means! Yep, it means it's time for me (and you!) to start producing an obscene amount of lists. I know, I hate it too, but end-of-the-year listmaking is tradition, and I'll be darned if you try to mess with tradition. Especially around Christmastime. Do you want to make the Baby Santa cry?

I didn't think so.

So here's my first list to commemorate the ending of 2011: TV Shows I Watched This Year. This includes broadcast, cable, and on-demand shows, as well as stuff I gleaned from Netflix. 

TV Shows I Watched This Year

Community - The quirkiest, savviest, goofiest, most absurd TV show on the air right now. Says I. It cracks me up week after week. Thursday nights, NBC, 8pm. Except NBC has just put it on hiatus. Meanwhile, Whitney lives on. And there is no justice in the world, etc. etc.

Raising Hope - This is made by the same people who brought us My Name Is Earl, a show I also enjoyed. Martha Plimpton (THE GOONIES!) plays a grandmother. If that doesn't set you up for what kind of wackiness abounds here, well... just watch it and see. It's a clever little half-hour gem.

Castle - Okay, so it's formulaic to the max, but somehow I don't mind watching Nathan Fillion do roughly the same thing week after week.

Burn Notice - Jeffrey Donovan, who I've been crushing on for the past 14 years, plays an ex-spy who, along with Bruce Campbell (!) kicks some bootie in Florida. It's a fun romp. I'm only into, like, season two and there are five or more now... but I'll get caught up eventually!

Parking Wars - Who knew that watching the daily rituals of meter maids, booters, and towing company employees could be so fascinating? But really, this show makes the job seem kinda fun -- so long as you can avoid being beaten up by angry Philadelphians.

America's Next Top Model - In the past, I've really enjoyed this show. It's utterly ridiculous and hypocritical, but also entertaining. But this past season was an All-Stars season, and A) I'm really tired of reality shows doing all-star versions. Enough with the people we've seen before. And B) The focus of the show changed. And then one day, mid-season, they took things far, far down Ridiculousness Road. We're talking "past the point of no return." They forced the contestants to write their own pop song and do a music video for it. AND they made a rule that the song had to have the phrase "Pot Ledom - That's Top Model backwards!" in it.

POT LEDOM.

And that's when my soul left for Barcelona.

Toddlers & Tiaras - Another utterly ridiculous guilty pleasure. If you've only ever heard of the show, you may think it's about a bunch of bratty kids and their overindulgent parents. Yeah, some episodes are about those types. But there are actually a lot of perfectly normal kids involved, and plenty of INSANE PARENTS. If you can even call them parents. I saw one ep recently where the pageant mom cheerfully admitted that she had children in the first place so she'd have someone to enter in pageants. Lord help us all.

Cash & Cari - A self-proclaimed "treasure broker", Cari from Michigan runs estate sales and repurposes old furniture and other items. I love going to estate sales, so it makes sense I would also like watching a show about them. It's cool taking a peek into other people's homes and seeing what they collected. And no, it's not creepy at all... why, does it sound like it is?

Auction Hunters - There are a lot of auction shows out there right now, but my favorite is Auction Hunters, in which two guys go to storage locker auctions and bid on ones that look good at a minutes' glance. Then they get to dig through the units they've won and see what kind of treasures are lurking. While the show generally only covers the units in which they score big (which they admit are rare), it's fun to watch. I live vicariously through those two!

Pawn Stars - Another "treasure" show, this one mostly focuses on people coming into the pawn shop to sell their supposedly valuable items. Half the time the items turn out to be genuine, the rest of the time, the patrons leave swearing up a storm. It's neat.

American Pickers - Mike and Frank drive across America with a van, picking up junk and goodies out of backroad barns and backyards. It's as much a "treasure" show as it is a show about people. I wish I had the guts and gusto to do that sort of thing.

Switched at Birth - Two teenage girls -- one, a rich brat (Bay), the other, a ghetto-dwelling deaf girl (Daphne) -- discover that they were switched at birth. Daphne and her mother and grandmother end up moving into the guest house of Bay's family. Complications ensue. It's really a neat show that raises a lot of questions and deals with family and friendship issues. It's surprisingly well-done -- except for the acting. In true ABC Family tradition, you kind of want to strangle 70% of the actors. Even Lea Thompson, who I love from the Back to the Future films, grates on my last nerve. But it's still worth watching.

Drop Dead Diva - I've barely gotten into this show, but I like what I've seen so far. Two women die on the same day, and one comes back to life in the other's body. Only it's a much larger body than she's used to. Cool concept, and I love the main actress.

Pan Am - This is actually a brand-new show on ABC, and I really enjoy it. It's about a group of Pan Am stewardesses and pilots, and is set in the 60s. At first I thought it couldn't be very interesting if every episode is about a plane ride, but I was pleased to discover they spend only part of the time on the plane and the rest in exotic locations. I love the time period; I wasn't around in the 60s, but it feels authentic.

7 Up - 49 Up - This is an older show that is now available on Netflix. Back in the 60's, a filmmaker interviewed a dozen or so children, asking them questions about their lives, families, friends, wishes, and dreams. Seven years later, he talked to them again. Then seven years later. With each episode, we watch the "children" age and change. Some get married, some get divorced, some have children, some spiral downhill, some make a comeback, some leave the project altogether. But the ones that stick around become like old friends. It's a fascinating series.

Portlandia - My first thought upon hearing about this was: "A show about Portland?! What do THEY know about my hometown?" I didn't know it was going to be a sketch comedy show reminiscent of Kids In The Hall. I found it highly amusing -- not because it satirizes PDX (one could argue it satirizes artsy, booksy hipsters everywhere) -- but because it's just plain funny.