I was only trying to inspire the children. Motivate them to give 100%. Encourage them to reach new heights of scholastic achievement...!
I should have kept my mouth shut.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the
jury blogosphere, I present to you the case: Mis4198ta843ke78: Molly Told Some Second-Graders She'd Get Them Minecraft Stickers.
Two weeks ago, I told some seven and eight-year-olds, who I knew loved Minecraft, that if they were especially well-behaved and worked hard, I would go and buy them some Minecraft stickers.
I could have sworn I'd seen Minecraft stickers at the store. If not the grocery store, then the craft store. But maybe I'd merely seen the Ninja Turtles. Both franchises do have a lot of green. The point is, I couldn't find any Minecraft stickers.
"Maybe the children will forget about the whole thing," I thought hopefully.
"Where are the Minecraft stickers? You said you'd get us Minecraft stickers!" the children said to me. Every day thereafter.
"Soon," I told them, hoping to buy myself some time. There had to be Minecraft stickers somewhere on Earth. Say, Amazon.com?
Amazon asks, how do you feel about 17 Minecraft stickers for $13.99? Or what about three stickers for $2.99, plus shipping?
Ughhh, what had I done?
Okay, so I realize that it is possible for adults to sit down with particular children and explain the situation, tell them that sometimes grown-ups make mistakes, and beg for forgiveness. Because yes, sometimes grown-ups do make promises they find they just can't keep, and one could argue that kids are never too young to learn that the world isn't comprised of fairy-tale endings and rainbows and lollipops.
Which would be what I'd do if Minecraft stickers didn't exist, period. But they do. They're just ridiculously un-cheap.
And also, I've only known these kids for a month. I'm afraid if I break this promise, I'll lose them for the rest of the year -- or worse, I will be the cause of their eternal illiteracy.
"I wanted to learn to read," they will tell their future therapists. "I was just starting to get good at it when this one teacher came along and made exciting promises... and then broke them. And laughed -- maniacally and cruelly. From that day forward, I never opened another book. From that day on, reading was dead to me."
So here comes plan B: use my Xyron sticker maker to make some Minecraft stickers, present my creations to the children, and hope they find them satisfactory.
Which they'd better.
Yeah, I'll keep you posted....