Sunday, November 10, 2019

1970s Yearbook Photo Subjects Are Feeling Various Amounts Of Groovy

I recently sat down and pored through a couple of high school yearbooks, one from 1971 and the other from 1978. Just like in the other yearbooks I've featured on this blog, they have all types of folks within -- jocks, nerds, pretty people, pretty sad people, people who look like they're about ten seconds away from murdering the photographer, and so on. 

But one thing that struck me about the 70s, in particular, was the style. The hair -- ranging from Bobby Brady to Farrah Fawcett to Shaggy from Scooby Doo. The fashions -- crazy collars, wild jewelry, and enough horizontal stripes to make Ron and Hermione proud. And the facial hair! The young men of the 70s were brave souls, trying out all kinds of whisker configurations.

Below are about 50 shots of people from those yearbooks. All names have been changed, and of course I've invented back stories for most of the folks. Here's hoping that you, the person reading this, aren't related to any of these people IRL. And if you are, I hope you have a good laugh. And please don't harm me.

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Donna  Murphy is 100% ready to reject your advances. Seriously, don't even bother.

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Sharon Eddington's eyes may be hiding behind those hazel sunglasses, but I can still tell she's feeling groovy.


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Elton Reynolds is trying very, very hard to keep a happy look about him. But everyone hates it when their hair grows tentacles, and Elton is no exception.

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Napoleon Jones is feeling Dy-No-MITE... so... pretty groovy, actually.

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Jeffery Durham's mustache may give him the appearance of having a severe frown, but his lips say... well, uh, his lips also suggest he's not particularly happy....

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Jonelle Francis is rocking the chandelier earrings, doesn't care what you think, and is, in fact, leaving school in five minutes to go to a bitchin' party in the next county. Bye!

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Time-traveler Tristan Rogers is just hanging out in the 70s for a week to make sure his future parents seal their love (ie kiss) at the Disco Forever! dance on Saturday.


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April Ludfence is silently daring us to assign her any level of grooviness. 

We are backing away slowly...

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Cindy Gottenbrook is an enigma, and we can't tell if she's feeling groovy or if she's just really enjoying the 70s, so we'll assign her a number somewhere in the middle.

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Twins Stacy and Tracy Wilkins are excited to be graduating soon and getting the hell outta town.

Just kidding. They want to kill you.

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Kevin Collner is looking forward to a post-high school acting career in which he'll be playing the obligatory "annoying kid brother" until he's at least 28.

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Ken Lamont's shirt says it all. That's a 12, man.



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Robin Hennessy's greatest wish is that the guy who bit her last night was actually a vampire, and now she, herself, has turned as well, and therefore she will not appear at all in this photograph.

Sorry, Robin.

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"Does this perm make my head look small?" Tim Roberts asks, not caring what the answer is.

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Les Martin's mustache can't decide on the best direction in which to grow, but he'll tell you one thing: there's no way anyone will mistake it for the 'stache of a 1940s dictator -- no way, no how!

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Mary Templeton is a rebel with a cause. She and her fellow rebels (below) have achieved a high cumulative level of grooviness.


"I'm the reason most yearbooks now have photo standards," says Joseph Marrs. "You're welcome."



All together now; cumulative grooviness score?


* * *


George Anderson has a lot on his mind, and that's okay. We get it, George. Everyone has their off days. Yours just happened to be on school picture day.


* * *


Jenny Albertson is feeling far out, man. She'll catch YOU on the flip side.

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Michele Lawrence is easily distracted by squirrels.

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After being chosen Homecoming King entirely due to his resemblance to David Cassidy, how could Brian Keenes feel anything but groovy?

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Sandra Lionel is just one pin curl wig away from achieving her life's dream of becoming Nellie Oleson from Little House On The Prairie, and while that makes her happy, certain other recent life events have zapped some of her zest. Hang in there, Sandra. It gets better after high school.

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Steve Wendell Jr. is wearing vertical stripes in a yearbook in which nearly everyone else has gone horizontal, and that makes him feel groovy indeed.


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Mary Jane Franklin can hardly wait for her wedding day, which happens to be tomorrow! Best wishes, Mary Jane!


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Jackie Townsend is thinking about something funny that happened earlier in Home Ec, and gosh, she can't wait to tell Bambi and Rhonda about it!

* * *


Carol Bateman cheerfully obeyed when the photographer told her to tilt her chin upwards. Unfortunately for her, she remains posed like that to this day.

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Dana Greenspan is rocking that T-shirt with a -- what is that, a robot? A cubist building? It doesn't even matter, because she's light years ahead of her time, and she knows it.

* * *


Leslie Amherst is trying. She is trying oh, so hard. We have to give her some credit.  Points for trying, Leslie. May the force be with you.

* * *


Connie Northwood knoooows where it's at. 

It, of course, meaning the murder weapon. 

Why, Connie? WHY?

* * *


Craig Watkins is tired of being mistaken for the school janitor. "So help them if they put my picture on the Staff pages like they did last year," he says.

* * *


"Yes, Mom, I combed my hair," Howard Benson assured his mother as he hurried to catch the school bus. To himself, he added, chuckling, "Some of it, anyway."


* * *


Vinnie Richardson has nothing to say to you, man. The jacket is saying everything that must be said.

* * *


"Rosemary Sturgeon is always so happy," her classmates remark. "What's her secret?"  

Only her best friend, Rita Johnstone, knows the truth.

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Rita Johnstone and Rosemary Sturgeon share more than just octagonal-shaped glasses. They also share an equal level of grooviness.

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Wilma Terkwaller envies the friendship of Rita and Rosemary, and vows she will stop at nothing to destroy them.

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Dale Vestibule has such perfect hair, there is nothing else he could feel, really.


* * *


"So what if mutton chops aren't IN?" says David Rowman. "Someday, they will be. And when they are, I'll be ready."

* * *


"Why did I shave my mustache?" Robert Williamson asked himself in the mirror this morning. "I suppose I was trying to look like that cool new kid, Tristan Rogers. Oh, who am I kidding? I'll never be that cool."

* * *


Mary Kerrington believes in peace, which is why she's taken the incisors from her enemies and made them into a necklace. They don't mess with her anymore. Peace at last!

* * *


Craig Heller got a C-minus on his report on the Wild Bactrian Camel, and is still dwelling on it hours later. How will he explain this to his parents? How will he get into a good college, now? Curse you, Wild Bactrian Camels!

* * *



Cathy Emerson makes her own clothes, jewelry, and wigs, and is currently rocking all three. What creative things have you done lately?

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Magdelena "Madge" Parker is just practicing for when she's eighty-two, thank you very much.


* * *


Nope. Next?

* * *


"I don't care if I don't get the lead in the school production of Annie," says Marjorie Freedman, who brims with confidence day in and day out. "There's always community theater, films, Broadway..." 

* * *


Veronica Mason knows she will never go out of style.

* * *


Despite the fact that the yearbook staff had to hunt down Bernstein McGovern, finally locating him in the school basement, it matters not. Bernstein is now forever immortalized in the school yearbook, like it or not.

Fact: He doesn't like it.