Wednesday, March 7, 2018
Saturday, March 3, 2018
Every time there's a mass shooting it's the same thing, again and again.
Common Sense Folks: "We need gun control -- now!"
Gun Owners & Fans: "Guns aren't the problem! The problems are, in no particular order: Mental illness, chronic bullying, toxic masculinity, violent video games, the lack of MORE guns, and the fact that they banned prayer in our schools!"
Common Sense Folks: "But other countries have those same issues -- yet they've TRIED gun control, and as a result, there have been fewer mass shootings! Look at Australia!"
Gun Owners & Fans: "F--- the kangaroos! This is America! The second amendment is on our side! And look at me -- I take guns very seriously!! I'm responsible with them, unlike some people!! They're fun to shoot and collect and own and HELL NO ARE YOU GONNA TAKE THEM AWAY."
Common Sense Folks: "We don't want to take away your guns. We just want to make it harder for people to--"
Gun Owners & Fans: "NRA!?!?! DO YOU HEAR THIS?!?!?! THEY'RE TRYING TO TAKE OUR GUNS AWAY!! SAVE US FROM BEING SITTING DUCKS!!!"
NRA: *bribes the right people*
Everyone: *Shuts up for a few weeks.*
Two weeks later: *37 concertgoers get pumped full of bullets & die.*
Common Sense Folks: "UM, HELLO!?!?!"
Gun Owners & Fans: "MENTAL ILLNESS AM I RITE?"
Common Sense Folks: "NO! Lots of people suffer from mental illness, and they don't go around killing people. WE NEED GUN REFORM!"
Lawmakers: "It's too soon to talk about gun reform! But it's never too soon for 🎶thoughts & prayers!"🎶
Common Sense Folks: "Those are great when someone's great uncle dies, but they're not exactly WORKING, HERE!"
First Random Guy On The Internet: "Heathens! Clearly all these violent deaths are God's way of telling us he's angry about gay marriage!"
Second Random Guy On The Internet: "Ummm there were mass shootings before gay marriage was even legal."
First Random Guy On The Internet: "BOW DOWN AND CONFESS YOUR SINS!"
Second Random Guy On The Internet: *Blocks/Mutes First Random Guy On The Internet*
Two weeks later: *12 churchgoers get pumped full of bullets & die.*
Donald Trump: *tweets "thoughts & prayers"*
Common Sense Folks: "THIS HAS GOT TO STOP! WE NEED COMMON SENSE GUN LAWS!"
Gun Owners & Fans: "Even if we take guns away, criminals will ALWAYS find ways to kill, anyway! Criminals gonna crim!"
Common Sense Folks: "Maybe so, but can't we at least TRY?"
Gun Owners & Fans: "No!!! If you take our guns, we'll have no way to defend ourselves!"
Common Sense Folks: "From what...?"
Gun Owners & Fans: "From criminals! The corrupt police! Nazis! Zombies! Intruders!"
Common Sense Folks: "Okay, so maybe you can keep one or two guns. But high-powered rifles? Do we really ne--"
Gun Owners & Fans: "It's a slippery slope! First you come for the rifles. Then you come for ALL MY GUNS! Then we all die, helpless! Don't you see?"
Common Sense Folks: "But I don't think high-powered rifles are what the founding fathers had in mind when they wrote the second amendment..."
*Everyone goes around in circles with the same arguments, ad nauseam*
Two weeks later: *A car drives into a crowd and kills 8 people.*
Gun Owners & Fans: "HA! SEE?!? IT'S NOT THE GUNS' FAULT, NOW, IS IT?"
Common Sense Folks: "True, not THIS time, but...."
Two weeks later: *A dozen & a half teenagers are pumped full of bullets at their high school and die.*
Common Sense Folks: "CAN WE GET SOME COMMON SENSE GUN LAWS NOW THAT OUR CHILDREN HAVE BEEN SLAUGHTERED?"
Lawmakers: "LOL no."
Kids Who Survived The Shooting: "WE ARE SICK OF OUR FRIENDS DYING! STOP THE MADNESS! GUN CONTROL NOW!"
Gun Owners & Fans: "Shut up, KIDS! You are young and can't even drink alcohol yet, so what do you know about life or anything??"
Kids Who Survived The Shooting: "WE WILL NOT BE TAMED."
Common Sense Folks: "HECK TO THE YES! THIS IS INCREDIBLE! GO, KIDS, GO!"
Gun Owners & Fans: "Wahhhh! Teenagers are being rude to us on the Internet!" ☹
Kids Who Survived The Shooting: "Senator Rubio, will you help us?"
Marco Rubio: "Sorry, I'm busy taking a swim in all the money the NRA has given me!"
Donald Trump: *Hmmm, how can I make this about me?*
Lawmakers: "Hey, I know! Let's solve this school shooting problem with an idea that I'm sure has never occurred to anybody before, but is so brilliant, it HAS to work! Let's give -- wait for it -- TEACHERS guns!"
Kids Who Survived The Shooting: "That's a terrible idea!"
99% of Teachers: "That's a terrible idea!"
Common Sense Folks: "That's a terrible idea!"
NRA: "More people buying guns? Works for us!"
Gun Owners & Fans: "More guns, not less? Sounds good to us!"
Teachers: *Collectively quit*
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Are you sick & tired of gun violence, school shootings, and innocent people dying in mass numbers, too? Here's how you can help:
Donate to Giffords: Courage To Fight Gun Violence (helping to enact smarter laws, background checks, and more.)
Donate to The Sandy Hook Promise (helping to prevent gun violence.)
Get out and participate in March For Our Lives in your area on March 24, 2018.
Follow Emma4Change (Emma Gonzalez)
(I will add more links as I find them.)
(I will add more links as I find them.)