...with my mother--
Mrs Bennett: "Blah blah blah, I just KNEW everything would turn out all right with Lydia and Wickham! I don't care that my brother had to pay out a million tuppence for her safe return; let's plan what color taffeta she should don for the big day! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Me: "So... I think this movie was named after her."
My Mother: "No, then it would've been called Pure Stupidity."
Lydia: "I'm the first to be married and the youngest of all of you, my sisters! HAHAHAHA! What a laugh! I'm sure you're all so very jealous of me! Rolling on the floor laughing out loud, bitches!!!1"
Me: "There are four of them and one of her. You think they could take her?"
--When Jane asks Elizabeth when she first started noticing she was falling in love with Mr. Darcy--
Elizabeth: "...But I believe I must date it from my first seeing his beautiful grounds at Pemberley."
My Mother: "That's kind of rude of her, isn't it?"
Me: "Well, except that by 'beautiful grounds,' she really means 'his hot wet bod.'
My Mother: "Oh, okay then, that's all right."
Yes, all right indeed.