Saturday, December 30, 2023

Glossy Time Capsules #39: Teen Beat - February, 1994

Glossy Time Capsules #39

Teen Beat

February, 1994


Ah, Teen Beat... helping to beat the hearts of 9-to-13-year-olds from 1967 to 2007. 

According to Wikipedia, tween mags such as this one saw dwindling readership beginning in the early 90s. (For Teen Beat in particular, circulation dropped from 132,000 in December 1992 to 90,000 in December 1993.)

You can't even blame the internet for that drop!

Let's blame Joey Lawrence instead!


Kidding, of course. We love Joey. Even if he does appear in this issue about 900 times.


Hey, kids of the early 90s! Do you have the urge to have photos of your fave stars constantly in your pocket? Don't want to wait for smartphones to be invented? Wallet Pix to the rescue!


Peel your eyes away from little baby Leonardo DiCaprio for a sec, and note the guy on the top left: Mark-Paul Gosselaar. From 1987 to 1994, MPG played Zack Morris on three shows: Good Morning, Miss Bliss, Saved By The Bell, and Saved By The Bell: The College Years, not to mention a couple of TV-movies.


Though perhaps the most fondly remembered of its kind, Saved By The Bell wasn't the only Saturday-morning show about a group of mostly-hot teens back in 1994. California Dreams was in the middle of its 1992-1996 run...


You also had CityKids. It evidently only lasted 13 episodes and, according to Wikipedia, involved Muppets.


Meanwhile, in primetime, you had Beverly Hills 90210...


Jason Priestley, Luke Perry, Jennie Garth, Shannen Doherty, Tori Spelling, Sharknado Guy, Brian Austin Green, Gabrielle Carteris... they were all there.



A few people were tired of 90210, though, I guess...


Elsewhere in the Letters section...


Jeremy Jordan, star of screen and stage?! Uh... nope. That Jeremy Jordan was nine years old when this mag came out. Mickey P. is, in fact, lusting after this Jeremy Jordan (actual name Don Hensen), who played Guy Perkins in Never Been Kissed.


I see you, Billy Ray Cyrus...


Glad to see the love for New Kids On The Block was still strong among its most loyal fans...


Joey Lawrence just had to get his face on a page about the then-freshman TV show The Nanny....


Another show that hit the airwaves in 1993.... ❤


And we can't forget about another 1993 newbie, Boy Meets World! (Sorry, Shiloh, but the world will ultimately forget about The Mommies.)


Now wait a second...

Will Estes is in a tween magazine?? Can it be???


I jest, of course. From The New Lassie (1989-1992) to It Had To Be You (1993) to Kirk (1995-1996) to Meego (1997) to Kelly Kelly (1998), one could argue that Will Estes was either the most prolific guy on television in the 90s... or that he was a debuting TV show's kiss of death. 

He was also in that depressing series finale of Full House. AND SPEAKING OF...


It's Steve from Full House!


Man, 1994 was a good year...


I can't see any potential problems with having tweens share their home addresses with complete strangers...


All right, c'mon, this magazine isn't going to pay for itself. Behold the ads!


I don't know what the girl in the "before" picture was dealing with, but I don't think it was just acne. I also suspect spiritual possession.


Wait, which one's Debbie?




Oh, come on, not again...


Joey, please! Take a backseat!


Surprise!


I wonder if Josh's college ever got him to plant a celebrity tree?


The birthdays section boasts the one and only mention of Brad Pitt in this issue, but to be fair, when this mag came out he was basically still just the guy from A River Runs Through It. And turning 30, aw.


Well, this next section is less exciting than usual, but I can't leave it out...

NEAT THINGS YOU SHOULD BUY!




IS THERE NO ESCAPING YOU, JOEY??

Well, I think the teen is now completely beat(en) out of me, so until next time...


Go plant a tree.

No comments: