Saturday, October 5, 2019

Glossy Time Capsules #12: Better Homes and Gardens - 1966 and 1969

Glossy Time Capsules #12

Better Homes and Gardens

March, 1966 (Price: 35 cents)
August, 1969 (Price: 50 cents)

Today we're going to look at two issues of Better Homes and Gardens from 1966 and 1969. You may remember the first Glossy Time Capsule I featured in this series was a Better Homes and Gardens from 1972. And way back in 2014 I featured one from 1974. But I hope you're not thinking, Gee, another Better Homes and Gardens!?! This will just be more of the same! BECAUSE IT IS NOT! Keep reading! The "Neat Stuff You Should Buy" sections are worth their weight in gold! Okay, kind of a mustardy yellow shag carpet gold, but gold nonetheless.

The covers on these two are a little worn. Bless the person who thought these issues should be "saved." Curse them for writing that in permanent marker. But bless them once again for donating these to a rummage sale in the end.

* * *
The 60s were an interesting time for home interiors. Here are a few full-page ads to illustrate that. I have subtitled these ads for your my amusement.

Even The Toilet Is Ashamed - 1966

Because Who Doesn't Love To Wash Their Ceilings? - 1969

Mommy and Daddy Sleep Separately Now - 1969

We Will Never Regret This Color Choice - 1966

Bathtub or Ancient Cistern? We'll Never Tell! -1969

"The Deep Bulky Pile" (aka "Bruce Smiled Knowingly") - 1966 

"Whatever Looks Good To You Is Right" = WRONG - 1966

To fill the spaces in their green-yellow-and-orange-hued homes, the folks of the 60s were quite keen on electric household appliances...

Space Lady Not Included - 1966

The Lion, The Witch and the Refrigerator - 1966

Find NEW Reasons, Dummies! - 1966

Another Big Reason: Free Advertising - 1966

Just Buy A Damn Dishwasher, Judy! - 1966

Boy, did ladies in the 60s hate to manually clean...

Die, Environment, Die! - 1969

They may have hated to clean, but they loved to design stuff!

Pipe + Chair Fabric + No-Good Husband = Fire = Insurance Money! - 1966

Suburban Miracle! Man Helps Wife Do Household Chores, Sort Of - 1966

Ad Seemingly About Man Helping Around The House Is Still Really Just An Ad Encouraging Women To Buy Laundry Soap - 1966

Pretty Borders Make The Mundane Bearable - 1966

 Plain Or Fancy, Not So Great For Blowing Your Nose - 1966

Baby Janet Approves, What More Can Be Gurgled? - 1966

Give Your Husband The Pink Toilet Paper Or He Will Leave You, And You'll Deserve It - 1969

But Whatever You Do, Don't Let your Husband Have This - 1969

When women of the 60's weren't doing laundry or committing sins with their toilet paper, they could probably be found in the kitchen, whipping up new culinary concoctions. And with ingredients like Miracle Whip and Knox gelatin at hand, what could go wrong?

Because Everyone Has To Die Someday, Might As Well Be Tomorrow - 1969

Honey, My Boss Is Coming To Dinner, Would You Whip Up Something Half Fancy, Half Horrific? - 1966

Cheaper Than A Trip To Disneyland For Dole Whip - 1966

Not in the mood for new foods? Don't worry, these old standbys are sure to please...



But sometimes you just needed to get out of the house. And that's why they invented automobiles.


But, sad to say, cars weren't exactly the pinnacle of safety back in the 60s. Thank goodness for optional accessories!

"Several manufacturers now produce excellent child seats. One features a padded slab in front of the child's face and body to absorb much of the shock of violent impact."

Well, I feel safe now. Everybody in the car!


"But Daddy! Dolly's not buckled!"
"The seats are padded, honey! She's fine!"

I.L.M.O Dolly, 1965-1966
A victim of her time.

While these two magazines don't seem to have a lot in the way of interesting articles, 1969's "100 Ideas Under $100" is pretty neat. It's like a time-traveling Pinterest board!

The Play-and-store platform cracks me up. "Here's a way to keep toys -- and kids -- up off the floor." 

Hello, all you did was build a slightly higher floor.

People are still using some of these ideas -- with a few color modifications, of course. 

Well, actually, I hope no one's still doing this...


* * *

And now...

It's time for my favorite section of these magazines...



Ah, simpler times, when XXX didn't mean what you'd think it means.

Permanently... three to four weeks... same thing, really.

Welcome to my office! Please note my zodiac sign, as that is clearly one of my most important attributes. Wait, no, don't tell me... you're a Capricorn!


My thoughts exactly.

* * *

No comments: