Friday, February 1, 2019

Glossy Time Capsules #3: Western Family - 1958

Glossy Time Capsules #3

Western Family
May, 1958
Price: 5 cents

There are a lot of food ads in this thing. Let's not wait one moment longer to appreciate them...

Question for people who lived through the decade: Was every food some shade of red? Because it certainly looks that way.

Heck yeah, a contest!

Prizes: A portable TV (by "portable" they apparently meant "liftable"), wall-to-wall Nyltweed carpet, even an egg poacher. 

Wait, what's Nyltweed?

I just Googled it.

Google replied with: Did you mean Nylt Weed?

I searched for Nylt Weed instead, and Google replied: 

Did you mean: 
not weed
nut weed
 salt weed?

Either Nyltweed is extinct, or Google just sucks.

Feature of the Month: Exclusive Gerber Offer: What Is A Baby?, by Rosemary Clooney, was a record of a poem that is now currently available on Youtube. You have to hear it.You will either be dazzled and want to run out and snag an infant, or be compelled to jet to the nearest hospital and have your reproductive parts removed entirely.

Like a thimble full of starshine. 

Please let me know what you decide.

Gee, Washington sounds swell! I guess the next time I try to go to the Portland Expo Center and wind up accidentally going across the bridge into that state, I'll try to appreciate my surroundings a little more.

Reader Letters! 

I'm only posting the two most interesting ones. The rest are all, "I like your magazine because it is good." People back then knew how to get published.

Oh, could have had Kool-Aid!

Ouch, Arthur. 

I love this juxtaposition... 

1.Tater tots! The new awesome food! 

2. Woe! We, as a nation, eat horribly. Well, mostly housewives and teen-age girls. 

Feed them tater tots and all will be fine.


Marriage Quiz!

Yay for Family Cooking! (Precursor to Everybody out of the kitchen. NOW.)

Mother-in-laws are the worst, yada yada....

Having her committed is the only way, Elizabeth...


There's a lot of love for family pets in this magazine....

Oh wait, Pet Milk isn't... actually... for pets. 



Newfangled stuffs...

*A water-powered lawn and hedge trimmer? How is that... how does it... what if you... 

*A garage door opener triggered by driving over a rubber hose? Hmmkay.

*Windows that function as regular windows in the day time and as electric light sources at night... by 1960! Insert "The future looks bright!" joke here.

Unfunny Comic Ads!

It's time for another round of "Neat Stuff You Should Buy!"

Fasteeth vs. Klutch... who will be the victor in the denture market?

And a few more ads, for your enjoyment....

Obligatory "Posh Tissue" ad (seriously, is there one in every magazine?)

Holy heck, I'm reading the labels on my tissue before I buy any from now on.

And finally...

Alice from The Brady Bunch promotes smoking. My childhood is over.

I'm not joking. That's actually her.

No comments: