Glossy Time Capsules #40: The National Geographic Magazine - April, 1926

 Glossy Time Capsules #40

National Geographic

April, 1926

Price: 50 cents

I know what you're probably thinking: National Geographic? The magazine that multiplies whenever you even glance at one?

Yeah, National Geographic isn't everyone's favorite. I know this because I've featured one on Glossy Time Capsules before, and the page count on that post has been rather pathetic.

You also may have noticed that the picture of the cover, up there^ isn't looking too charming. Water damage, staining, red pen marks... who desecrated this poor magazine? But never mind, because...

And what's inside THIS magazine is a plethora of vintage goodness! This is the first 1920s magazine I've ever featured on Glossy Time Capsules. 

Ah, the 1920s: a seemingly delightful little decade squished between a World War (1914-1918) and The Great Depression (1929-1939). Prohibition meant that nobody, and I mean nobody, was imbibing in the forbidden kool-aid. So what were people doing?

Well, it seems some people were updating their kitchens and buying their first refrigerators...

And yes, some of those refrigerators were non-electric. Ice FTW!

Some newfangled stoves were purchased, too...

Fireless. Yes... yes, that is a plus! 

Some were buying their first automobile...

Can you imagine trying to find your Buick in that^ parking lot? 

"Windshield available if desired." WHY WOULD YOU NOT DESIRE THAT?!

Also, I have no idea what's happening in that^ picture. Are they all on a Sunday afternoon excursion to watch a cropdusting? Was that a thing?

Ladies, we haven't forgotten about you...

I wish my car improved with every mile!

Some people were installing their first upgrading their bathrooms...

And Gramma and Gramps were keeping their living room at a crisp 75 degrees....

Meanwhile, some people were planning epic vacations...

A few were planning slightly less epic vacations...

Ah, but life wasn't all happiness and bliss. Folks still thought about death on occasion....

I appreciate how creative insurance company ads can get. Every decade, they seem to focus on a new potential terror to entice people to get their insurance. "You might die in a shipwreck" must have been a valid concern in 1926.

Alas. Ol' pops may die in a shipwreck, but at least the kids will be okay!

Oh.... Well, shoot.

Meanwhile, lawnmowers looked ridiculous...

Vacuums looked ridiculous...

Luggage was somehow becoming more annoying...?

And in modern medicine...

Insulin was affordable in 1926, but some people didn't believe it worked. 

Some fantastic plants were sprouting...

The Amazon was being explored...

And technology marched on...

 

Okay, Bell... you've got another fifty years or so of life, but that's it.

Uh, yeah, Remington... I have some bad news for you, too...

I hope you're planning to monetize this somehow, Jimmy.

Dental hygiene ads, I swear... 

With or without shiny, clean teeth, some people were being utterly obnoxious...

This man seemed to know about everything.

"How do you ever get the time to read so much?" someone asked him at last.

"I really read very little," he answered with a smile. "Every now and then I browse a bit in Elbert Hubbard's famous Scrap Book. It's a digest of the best thoughts and ideas of the last four thousand years, and it gives you all the information you want in a few words."

"So you're a total hack, then?" Louisa said, frowning.

"No, no!" cried the man. "I merely have a knack for memorizing useless facts!"

"You come into my home and humiliate us by acting like a superior intellect!" howled Herbert. "A pox on you! Leave my property at once!"

And when the man refused to leave, all the guests sprung from their seats and drove him out with lit candles and forks.

The end.

And now that that douche has been dealt with, it's time for your favorite section and mine...

NEAT STUFF YOU SHOULD BUY!

Push pins!

Roses! Er... catalogs of roses!

Envelopes!

Shaving cream!

I thought I understood what telegraphs were and how they worked.

Apparently I was wrong.

Binoculars! Or... nope, a binocular catalog!

Funeral chimes! ...I think?

At last, we come to the end of this magazine. I hope you enjoyed it. I leave you now with the sobering reminder that everyone that worked on this issue is now dead.

Because of lead poisoning.

For more Glossy Time Capsules, click here!

Glossy Time Capsules Bonus Post #1: Evangelizing Today's Child - 1985-1994

 Glossy Time Capsules: Bonus Post #1

Evangelizing Today's Child

1985-1994 Issues

Okay, so this magazine's a bit niche and not something I would normally add to Glossy Time Capsules. But when a relative of mine recently disposed of 30 of these magazines from the 80s and 90s, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to document some of the hilarities within.

Though information about this publication is scarce, it seems it began in the 1970s and has now been discontinued. It was aimed at church leaders, Sunday School teachers, and homeschooling parents. It was produced by CEF (Child Evangelism Fellowship).

 If organized religion turns you off, you might want to skip this post. If, like me, you grew up on this stuff and now want to have a few nervous laughs over it, feel free to join me...

Baptists are incapable of agreeing on whether or not dinosaurs existed and/or when, but they have no issue with using them to get kids excited about the Bible!

Although... if not dinosaurs, perhaps pirates? Nothing potentially problematic about that!

Of course, there have always been plenty of other ways to get kids excited... such as videos featuring  all-white casts!

Ah, McGee & Me. Look, Nicholas had one black friend, okay? Totally avant garde, that show.

That's some state-of-the-art animation, right there.

What could get kids more excited about Bible-y things than an old guy doing science experiments involving... blood?

And when all else failed, there were puppets to fall back on...

So. Many. Puppets.

Sometimes the Bible WAS the puppet... or the puppet was the Bible... or... 

... whatever it was, it was a holy abomination indeed.

Few people know this, but Howard The Duck was a major figure in 1980s child evangelism. At least until the movie came out, at which point he was banned from churches everywhere.

Churches were all about welcoming the kids, though, just about any day/time of the week.

When I was really little, my parents left me in the church nursery....

Our church had these cribs throughout my childhood. Bunk bed cribs! Never a dull moment.

After I turned two, there was Sunday School on Sunday mornings. We either went to one or two sessions of it.

Sunday School was fine, usually. We got playtime, snacks, coloring pages, and stories. And also flannelgraphs...

And of course, in order to make the most use out of flannelgraphs, you needed...

Instead of two sessions of Sunday School, we might do one session of Sunday School and one session of Children's Church, which was more of a mixed-age thing. 

Sunday evenings, we might have a special kids' program or we might opt to go to Children's Choir instead. If we went to Children's Choir, we might eventually put on a show like this...

In the summer, there was VBS (Vacation Bible School), usually held at the church over the course of a week.

There might be also Good News Clubs and Backyard Bible Clubs in the summers, or maybe even on successive Saturdays...

WHAT??? I can't believe we've spent all this energy over the years trying to figure out whether or not Adam and Eve had navels, or what color of skin they had. What we should have been focused on was: "Did Adam part his hair on the right, or the left?" 

YOU GUYS. IT WAS THE LEFT! 

There were also Pioneer Clubs on Wednesday Nights...

Pioneer Clubs was kind of like a cross between Awana and Girl/Boy Scouts. I participated in it from 1st-5th grade and I totally loved it. 

Beyond that, there was Bible Study at the church on Tuesday mornings and a special program for kids up to 5 years old. 

Sometimes we got neat prizes...

So Sunday mornings, Sunday nights, Tuesday mornings, and Wednesday nights. But some parents went that extra mile....

So that's that for things that relate to my childhood experiences. Now let's check out what else this magazine had to offer...

Well, there were ads...

Serious "We died 100 years ago this very night!" vibes up there.

There were teaching materials...

Clockwise, from left to right:

"You can't make us wear masks!"

"YOU stole the cookie from the cookie jar!"

"Cross carved from a single piece of wood, artist unknown - circa 32 ADE."

"The cave of wonnnndahhhss!"

Clockwise, from left to right:

"Richard Kimble!?!"

"Heart... and/or peach."

"You've heard of the Wordless Book, but have you heard of the Wordless Word?"

"Surprise, Billy, we're actually your grandparents! Sad story, actually...."

More ads...

Jason, sit down....

Well that was a trip. I hope you enjoyed it even a little bit! And I hope, like me, you're able to laugh at the absurdities of it all.

Whatever; I had a mostly good childhood. Like these kids...!

And so begins another episode of The Kingdom Chums....