Showing posts with label 1990s. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 1990s. Show all posts

Monday, January 20, 2025

The Effects Of DRUGS: A Pawtionary Tale 🐾

When I was in middle school circa 1994, my health teacher assigned us a project. I don't remember the parameters -- whether it had to be about drugs & alcohol, or if I just chose that -- but while most of my peers made posters or wrote essays, I went straight for Cat Content.

Armed with my dad's camera, a roll of slide film, the family feline and a few props -- I created a cautionary tale. Or at least what I thought was a cautionary tale based on my limited knowledge of what drugs even were.  

I was a sheltered kid. The extent of my drug knowledge was limited to that one fried egg commercial, that other commercial with the kid who yells at his dad: "I learned it by watching YOU!", and a couple of school-sponsored puppet shows that stressed that whatever the peer pressure-ers tried to get me to do, I was to say No. 

But then came middle school, and we got a unit on drugs. So now I knew the names of some of them and that... um... well, I knew that they could cause you to get sick, go to jail, lose your loved ones, or even kill you. So with that information, I went for it. I created a story about a person (played by my cat) who got hooked on... well, something terrible.

Quick note: I'm not here to make light of what for many people is a serious subject. I'm here to share my 13-year-old self's school project, my cat's posing skills, and the absurdness of a naive kid presenting all this to her eighth grade class with a straight face. 

The effects of DRUGS: Marijuna (sic), Cocaine, Alcohol

(Because I had been led to believe those were all essentially the same.)

This is Darlyn... in his more innocent years. He may look grumpy, but he's had a great life. Look at all his friends!

But one day Darlyn went looking for trouble, and by gosh, he found it....

He sniffed some white powder, which as we all know can only be Drugs...

He used syringes and pills, which -- again -- Drugs.


Sometimes the Drugs would give Darlyn hangovers...


Sometimes the Drugs made him pass out cold...


He began stealing in order to get more money to buy Drugs...


Once he even ended up in jail...


He began hanging out in junkyards with his new Friends Who Liked Drugs. What did they do with each other in the junkyards? 

Drugs.


Sometimes the Drugs would make Darlyn really sick...


He sought medical help, but the doctors didn't have a cure.


Darlyn continued to self-medicate...


His lost many of his friends. They turned their backs on him.


He still had a few friends, but he'd lash out at them without warning.


What have I done with my life? he asked himself. I have ruined it with Drugs.

And then, because he drank too much alcohol and ate too much marijuna and cocaine, he, um, you know....

I told you I was a weird kid.

Saturday, December 30, 2023

Glossy Time Capsules #39: Teen Beat - February, 1994

Glossy Time Capsules #39

Teen Beat

February, 1994


Ah, Teen Beat... helping to beat the hearts of 9-to-13-year-olds from 1967 to 2007. 

According to Wikipedia, tween mags such as this one saw dwindling readership beginning in the early 90s. (For Teen Beat in particular, circulation dropped from 132,000 in December 1992 to 90,000 in December 1993.)

You can't even blame the internet for that drop!

Let's blame Joey Lawrence instead!


Kidding, of course. We love Joey. Even if he does appear in this issue about 900 times.


Hey, kids of the early 90s! Do you have the urge to have photos of your fave stars constantly in your pocket? Don't want to wait for smartphones to be invented? Wallet Pix to the rescue!


Peel your eyes away from little baby Leonardo DiCaprio for a sec, and note the guy on the top left: Mark-Paul Gosselaar. From 1987 to 1994, MPG played Zack Morris on three shows: Good Morning, Miss Bliss, Saved By The Bell, and Saved By The Bell: The College Years, not to mention a couple of TV-movies.


Though perhaps the most fondly remembered of its kind, Saved By The Bell wasn't the only Saturday-morning show about a group of mostly-hot teens back in 1994. California Dreams was in the middle of its 1992-1996 run...


You also had CityKids. It evidently only lasted 13 episodes and, according to Wikipedia, involved Muppets.


Meanwhile, in primetime, you had Beverly Hills 90210...


Jason Priestley, Luke Perry, Jennie Garth, Shannen Doherty, Tori Spelling, Sharknado Guy, Brian Austin Green, Gabrielle Carteris... they were all there.



A few people were tired of 90210, though, I guess...


Elsewhere in the Letters section...


Jeremy Jordan, star of screen and stage?! Uh... nope. That Jeremy Jordan was nine years old when this mag came out. Mickey P. is, in fact, lusting after this Jeremy Jordan (actual name Don Hensen), who played Guy Perkins in Never Been Kissed.


I see you, Billy Ray Cyrus...


Glad to see the love for New Kids On The Block was still strong among its most loyal fans...


Joey Lawrence just had to get his face on a page about the then-freshman TV show The Nanny....


Another show that hit the airwaves in 1993.... ❤


And we can't forget about another 1993 newbie, Boy Meets World! (Sorry, Shiloh, but the world will ultimately forget about The Mommies.)


Now wait a second...

Will Estes is in a tween magazine?? Can it be???


I jest, of course. From The New Lassie (1989-1992) to It Had To Be You (1993) to Kirk (1995-1996) to Meego (1997) to Kelly Kelly (1998), one could argue that Will Estes was either the most prolific guy on television in the 90s... or that he was a debuting TV show's kiss of death. 

He was also in that depressing series finale of Full House. AND SPEAKING OF...


It's Steve from Full House!


Man, 1994 was a good year...


I can't see any potential problems with having tweens share their home addresses with complete strangers...


All right, c'mon, this magazine isn't going to pay for itself. Behold the ads!


I don't know what the girl in the "before" picture was dealing with, but I don't think it was just acne. I also suspect spiritual possession.


Wait, which one's Debbie?




Oh, come on, not again...


Joey, please! Take a backseat!


Surprise!


I wonder if Josh's college ever got him to plant a celebrity tree?


The birthdays section boasts the one and only mention of Brad Pitt in this issue, but to be fair, when this mag came out he was basically still just the guy from A River Runs Through It. And turning 30, aw.


Well, this next section is less exciting than usual, but I can't leave it out...

NEAT THINGS YOU SHOULD BUY!




IS THERE NO ESCAPING YOU, JOEY??

Well, I think the teen is now completely beat(en) out of me, so until next time...


Go plant a tree.