Glossy Time Capsules #40
National Geographic
April, 1926
Price: 50 cents
I know what you're probably thinking: National Geographic? The magazine that multiplies whenever you even glance at one?
Yeah, National Geographic isn't everyone's favorite. I know this because I've featured one on Glossy Time Capsules before, and the page count on that post has been rather pathetic.
You also may have noticed that the picture of the cover, up there^ isn't looking too charming. Water damage, staining, red pen marks... who desecrated this poor magazine? But never mind, because...
And what's inside THIS magazine is a plethora of vintage goodness! This is the first 1920s magazine I've ever featured on Glossy Time Capsules.
Ah, the 1920s: a seemingly delightful little decade squished between a World War (1914-1918) and The Great Depression (1929-1939). Prohibition meant that nobody, and I mean nobody, was imbibing in the forbidden kool-aid. So what were people doing?
Well, it seems some people were updating their kitchens and buying their first refrigerators...
And yes, some of those refrigerators were non-electric. Ice FTW!
Some newfangled stoves were purchased, too...
Fireless. Yes... yes, that is a plus!
Some were buying their first automobile...
Can you imagine trying to find your Buick in that^ parking lot?
"Windshield available if desired." WHY WOULD YOU NOT DESIRE THAT?!
Also, I have no idea what's happening in that^ picture. Are they all on a Sunday afternoon excursion to watch a cropdusting? Was that a thing?
Ladies, we haven't forgotten about you...
I wish my car improved with every mile!
Some people were installing their first upgrading their bathrooms...
And Gramma and Gramps were keeping their living room at a crisp 75 degrees....
Meanwhile, some people were planning epic vacations...
A few were planning slightly less epic vacations...
Ah, but life wasn't all happiness and bliss. Folks still thought about death on occasion....
I appreciate how creative insurance company ads can get. Every decade, they seem to focus on a new potential terror to entice people to get their insurance. "You might die in a shipwreck" must have been a valid concern in 1926.
Alas. Ol' pops may die in a shipwreck, but at least the kids will be okay!
Oh.... Well, shoot.
Meanwhile, lawnmowers looked ridiculous...
Vacuums looked ridiculous...
Luggage was somehow becoming more annoying...?
And in modern medicine...
Insulin was affordable in 1926, but some people didn't believe it worked.
Some fantastic plants were sprouting...
The Amazon was being explored...
And technology marched on...
Okay, Bell... you've got another fifty years or so of life, but that's it.
Uh, yeah, Remington... I have some bad news for you, too...
I hope you're planning to monetize this somehow, Jimmy.
Dental hygiene ads, I swear...
With or without shiny, clean teeth, some people were being utterly obnoxious...
This man seemed to know about everything.
"How do you ever get the time to read so much?" someone asked him at last.
"I really read very little," he answered with a smile. "Every now and then I browse a bit in Elbert Hubbard's famous Scrap Book. It's a digest of the best thoughts and ideas of the last four thousand years, and it gives you all the information you want in a few words."
"So you're a total hack, then?" Louisa said, frowning.
"No, no!" cried the man. "I merely have a knack for memorizing useless facts!"
"You come into my home and humiliate us by acting like a superior intellect!" howled Herbert. "A pox on you! Leave my property at once!"
And when the man refused to leave, all the guests sprung from their seats and drove him out with lit candles and forks.
The end.
And now that that douche has been dealt with, it's time for your favorite section and mine...
NEAT STUFF YOU SHOULD BUY!
Push pins!
Roses! Er... catalogs of roses!
Envelopes!
Shaving cream!
I thought I understood what telegraphs were and how they worked.
Apparently I was wrong.
Binoculars! Or... nope, a binocular catalog!
Funeral chimes! ...I think?
At last, we come to the end of this magazine. I hope you enjoyed it. I leave you now with the sobering reminder that everyone that worked on this issue is now dead.
Because of lead poisoning.
