Emmys O'12

Oh, Emmys, whatever shall I do with you? You rarely nominate the shows I love. You regularly give statues to the actors I loathe. So why do I tune in? WHY, PRAY TELL ME?

Well... because there's precious little else on.

How strange that the ceremony honoring television and how apparently awesome it is happened to follow a week in which the shows I enjoy watching were all strangely absent from the schedule. Antiques Roadshow? Not on; I think PBS was doing another pledge week. Auction Kings? Not on. I don't know why. Community? Not even a rerun to be had. Downton Abbey? Oh, it was on... IN GREAT BRITAIN. Fudge, I can't even have my share of lords, ladies, butlers, and scandalous scullery maids? In conclusion, why couldn't they schedule that National TV Turnoff Week for, well... now?

But where was I? Right. The Emmys. The show that rarely gets things right. I know, I complain every year, but someone has to speak up! 

So even though I have little respect for the Emmy award, the Emmy show is still pretty... well, not entertaining, but more like... mildly un-boring.

Let's talk about this year's show and awards.

Highlights

*Danny Strong winning & accepting his writing award. OMG Danny Strong! Buffy! Gilmore Girls! Those L&C promos from the summer of '96! We love you Danny! I'm sorry I haven't thought about you in eight years!

*Ricky Gervais. I'm not sure I can ever stop loving that guy. (Side note: EVERY time he presents at an award show, and I sit there giggling, my mom goes, "Who is that guy? I've never seen him before." This is like the 4th time that's happened.)

*I had no idea who Aaron Paul was, but how cute is he?

*Claire Danes presenting an award, and then winning. (Side note II: The first time she came on stage, and they made it very clear she was pregnant, I said to my mom: "Know who that is?" "Who?" "Beth from Little Women." "Wow, she's all grown up!" Twenty minutes later Claire is back, and my mom doesn't remember her from before, and asks me why on earth that lady would be wearing a gown that was so baggy on her. Which is funny, because, well, see below....)

*Them playing part of the Downton Abbey spoof from Jimmy Fallon, which I think is hilarious even after multiple viewings.

*Michael J. Fox getting a standing ovation for... I guess... being there? Being awesome? He is rather awesome.

Semilights

*How a bunch of ladies were wearing dresses in approximately this shade of yellow:

Hey, it was fun counting them! And worrying that they might appear on stage together and blend into one big yellow mass -- or worse, look like a bunch of bananas. (P.S. One of these ladies was Claire Danes.)

*Martha Plimpton winning for best guest actress in a drama series for her work in The Good Wife. Okay, I've seen her on that show. I've also seen her on Raising Hope, in which she is incredible and should get a dozen Emmys. Yet she wins for the show in which she's just... okay. Sigh. I guess an Emmy is an Emmy, but I still think somebody's cracked.

*The Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves overture playing during the montage for drama series, and then, an hour later, Kevin Costner winning HIS award, and them NOT playing the song then. Badly done, Emmys, badly done. (Just kidding. That would have been silly. Almost as silly as playing the Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves overture during a montage of shows like Breaking Bad and Mad Men. Talk about breaking things! My poor brain.)

Lowlights

*Tom Bergeron winning the Emmy for reality TV host. Now, I cry foul. First off, for the last several years, the win has gone to the darling Jeff Probst. This year, Jeff wasn't even nominated. And then Tom swoops in for the win. This would be fine except Tom Bergeron is incredibly annoying. 

*Jon Cryer winning for comedy. His show is gross and lame, his character is not only disgusting but unfunny, and he wins a comedy award? Annnnd this is why the Emmys can bite me.

And lastly, the most grievous of Emmy mistakes...

*Lack of Colin Firth.

That I can not forgive.